It’s been well over a year since I’ve posted here and I haven’t just forgotten about you all. I just haven’t been doing well and really didn’t want to complain about it. Maybe I didn’t want to really face up to it. Who knows. Last time I weighed in, last Monday, I was 209. Definitely not my highest (which was 236+) but I’m still so very far from where I want to be.

I have done at least 3 races since my last post. In October of 2014, I did the Crawlin Crab weekend (the 5k on Saturday, Half Marathon on Sunday) and then the Shamrock Half Marathon in March. The Crawlin Crab was my best time so far (3:28:43), but I didn’t train very much from October to March, and I gained weight and ended up having my slowest time at Shamrock (3:44:02). But I finished the Race, which I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to, so I guess that’s something.

I haven’t signed up for anymore races yet, honestly because I know I have so much more to work on before I can get seriously ready for doing another race. I need to work on my life. And mainly, I need to work on my weight. It’s something I’ve always struggled with, almost a lifelong battle, and it’s something that’s keeping me back from living the way I want. Technically, I’m morbidly obese, and at 5’1, 209 lbs is not good for my body. Hell, it’s not good for anyone’s body, except maybe a linebacker.

My life, especially the past year or so, has been up and down, lots of stress, lots of drama. It’s heading in a better direction now, being in a good relationship, my daughter Lola and I in the process of moving in with my boyfriend in a nice area with good schools. Being able to really have a fresh start with everything. I’m getting into a better place now. So, why is it still so hard for me to lose this weight? I have wondered if it’s the medications I’m on, but I’m not making that an excuse. The medications I’m on for Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety, and ADHD are what’s keeping me somewhat sane.

I think maybe I’ve just given up. I don’t exercise much anymore, I eat pretty much whatever I want, but not in excess. My boyfriend Chris and I order out or go out to dinner quite a bit, and I get dessert most of the time. I started drinking soda again, not much, but occasionally. And, of course, I haven’t given up my Sweet Tea.

So, I have a decision to make. Cutting sugar out of my diet seems to be the first step to changing my weight and getting healthier. But can I give it up all at once? I probably could, but I’m not going to. I am going to spend the next 2 weeks going without soda or sweet tea. Man, it’s going to be hard. I LOVE my sweet tea. But I want to see how I feel without it. I want to see if I notice a difference in my energy, health, and weight. I’m sure most of you will say it’d be more effective if I went without it longer than that, but this is me getting my feet wet. One thing at a time.

I really want to change my life and be healthier and in better shape. I don’t want to turn 33 in November and still be this way. So I guess it’s time to get to work!