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Day 9 - I am Holding On.. 

Sunday 20 Jan 2019

When I woke up at 7:30, my feelings were good.. (Success) I went to bed at half 5 AM. I had a huge night.. Last Friday night after my swim after my writing the blog, I got ready to go to bed.. just last time check all the notifications on the phone, one from Grindr, this dude invited me .. I don't know, I was up from half 4 Am on Friday and had a busy week, but I got soft when he said something about just relax and cuddle.. and he seems decent so, God! I can't believe I did it..

Great Impression, kind and polite, great Energy.. We connected in the beginning but didn't afterwords.. we ended up doing stuff. Typical vauxhall..! I haven't done anything for a year now.. I used to do a little bit...

I have been looking at my favourite flats in London pics these days like every day and I attracted it.. His flat has got the river view.. It's spectacular.. and a great guy!

I got home around 6:30pm on Saturday, I was still hungry.. I got a good one there but I was still hungry for a different one.. got home, had a shower.. went to this place. Another adventure another experience.. I wished if the dog's happiness.. Bless him!

Home, it was just about 10PM, had an orange.. It was hardon on in vauxhall.. I was alway tempted.. and never did. I pushed myself to go. But it was great.. It was so much more crazier than what I imagined. Crazier then every Sunday ones.. but I I can see some of the nicer aspects to it.. which can of helpful to me at the moment while I am trying to build my business.. some days the head goes crazy.. but I am holding on.. I am glad I did it... I think I will just keep this one in and leave the Rest.. deleted the app again, tried to delete the entire profile but didn't work. If I only keep the hardon once everymonth and leave rest of stuff, I think I would be able to manage that.. I am glad my this aspect of my emotional needs will be in balance..

I am Grateful to have been wokeup up feeling great (Success! Congratulations to me.. I had to work for it. Thank you God).

Spoke to mum, something not good with my little cousin, later I messaged my brother and sister with a little prayer.. and we all Amen'd..

I sat down on my desk and made a list of things that I need to do today.. the main main first.. the priority one's needs completing today than I wrote an answer to what did you do in your weekend question for tomorrow at work.. decided a time to cook food.

After almost 48 hoursThen took a nap, listening to Deep sleep guided meditation for unlocking your sacred spirit wisdom by Michale Sealey.. Wokeup feeling great..


My mind is going back to should have and could have for some of the things from the weekend but I am trying to stay in the now as much as I can.. This evening I complained about house not being clean.. bought a little energy on my flatmate.. The other one in the kitchen said, don't worry it's just a miss understanding.. and it was.. The universe tried to warn me at that time to watch out for the negative energy coming out.. It's probably my come down from my 18hours of chillilng.... Bless me! (Failure - I acknowledge all my negativity expressed this afternoon.. Next time I would like it to be, trusting, gratefulness. Thank you in advance.)

3 x things that I am grateful for today

- I am grateful for the realisation I received by having a huge weekend, one hardon a month and on goals rest of the time.. Thats the final decision for this year on that aspect.
- I am grateful for being in the service today after listening to Audible Audiobook Breaking the habit of being yourself by Joe Dispenza, I did compassion meditation for the dog.. then I did affirmations.. I think I used it. It was ego.. but it's there deep within for the dog..
- I am grateful for having being able to sit down like this and reflect back at my day and figure out what all things I would like my brain to record as Success! and Failure! In my day. I am acknowledging my emotions and energy at that time and I am wishing it to be with gratefulness and faith.

3 x happy moments of my day

- I was so happy how I dealt with one of the situations last night at the sauna.. I was mindful and were able to flip the issue into positive.
- I was happy and laughed earlier when I watched Just for Laughs on Youtube and laughed a few minutes it boosted my energy.
- I was Happy when I realised that I will be having beef curry and rice for dinner tonight..

3x things that I need to do next which will take me closer to my destination


- Analytics training
- Work on youtube
- Shoot video

1 x act of kindness today

- I offered to do the hoovering of the flat to my flatmate, It's her turn this week cleaning.. bkz I am going to hoover my room tomorrow..

********************************************************************************************************************************* The only thing that I want to introduce you to, is the educational system below! My life is been transforming by this and I want you to have it too.. Together we can figure out our value to the world.. Ash :-)

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Day 9 - I am Holding On.. 

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