When you are starting up an online business or anything new at all, there is nothing worse than rejections. We all have experiences of other people saying to us "It won't work", "It's already being done, so you missed the boat", "You don't have enough, knowledge or experience".......... Just hearing all this negativity is enough to make anyone be full of self doubt and self rejection.
I know that in my short experience on line I've beaten myself up more than enough. On many occasions whilst writhing in self doubt, I've almost given up and called it a day. I have agreed with the skeptics and almost said, enough is enough, I can't do it.
However, just as I was about to throw in the towel, I've had to stop myself and think, whoa there, what am I at. Have I not been down this road on other occasions in my life. What has been my previous experience when confronted with a challenge or challenging situation. I've run away or stopped in my tracks.
One thing that this journey I've engaged on with SFM has made me aware of is that I have always Rejected myself. For as long as I can remember, I didn't really need anyone to do it for me.
We have all experienced rejection through many life experiences, like asking someone out on a date and being told NO or applying for a job or even attending an interview, only to be told NO. It's a terrible feeling and it really does knock your own self esteem, you even begin to question yourself and abilities and even start to say to yourself: should I have even put myself in that position to feel humiliated in the first place, who am I to think they would say yes in the first place.
So have you been rejected by someone else or have you rejected yourself? Think about it, did you get the date, or job, then lose them? NO you never had them in the first place. You lost nothing.
Do you feel resentful towards the potential date or employer because they said no? YES
Do you think they care? NO
Will they lose any sleep tonight for turning you down? NO
Who's humiliation are you feeling? YOURS
It was never about them, but was always about you, so don't take it personally, it's not you but them.
Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup for the Soul) states that "Rejection is a myth" mainly as your world didn't come to an end all because someone said no to you. Ask in return "What would have to happen for you to say yes?" You will find not much realy, if you just ask.
Now if you are in recovery from addiction, which I assume you are or else you would probably not be reading this, then I'm sure you can also relate to this ongoing feeling and behaviour of self Rejection and being a failure. So you are not alone, there are a lot of us in the same boat, so what to do now?
Well, firstly how ever long you are in recovery and on your online journey, then know that, even if it doesn't feel like it at times, you are making progress. No matter what you do you are moving forward, even if it's at a snails' pace. If you think otherwise then you must not be human..... it's what we do, we are in a constant state of progression.
Goals vs. Dreams
If you truly are passionate about your dreams and have made it (them) your life goal, then you will build your own resilience to effectively reject any rejections.
How do we do this? Well we all dream and it's great to dream, as that is where our passion comes from. However we don't live in a fairy tale and dreams on their own will not come to fruition without action or "Massive Action" as Tony Robbins says.
How do we take action? We set goals for ourselves. Goals are just dreams in action and when we create SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timed) Goals, we make our dreams that bit more real. Once we have that focus, it becomes harder to feel rejected, especially if you are taking action and working towards your goal. Remember however to make your goals achievable and within your reach, as there is nothing worse than raising the bar to high and not being able to achieve them.
We live in a world of instant gratification, everybody wants and expects it NOW. The internet enables this, just look at how search engines work, instant results. But what is a contradiction with the internet is that you need to practice and learn how to be very patient if you decide to content market on line. In fact if you don't you will feel rejected.
How do we practice being patient or learn to let go of impatience? I use Gratitude and focus on what I am grateful for in my life and what I'm grateful for today. Gratitude is an extremely powerful tool, feeling, expresion and it works a Dream. When I am full of gratitude I never feel any of the other negative crap, like rejection.
Forgiveness/ Self forgiveness
Now yes, you might be wondering what the hell has forgiveness got to do with rejection? Just read the attachment and you will understand:
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
-this version is credited to Mother Teresa
So going forward, when you think or feel that you are being or have been rejected by someone or something, just remember, it wasn't about YOU, but them. Everyone has their own opinion annd perception, even you, so let it go and move on.
What is more damaging to the self is self rejection. When you feel this coming on, don't focus on what you haven't achieved or have to do, but look at how far you have come and all the good things that you have already in your life. When I'm beating myself up and feeling like the World is against me, I just think of my family and it cheers me right up again.
So go now and pat yourself on the back for a job well done and do something nice for yourself, you deserve it. So If you want to get a taste of an affiliate marketing laptop lifestyle, then I invite you to click this link, watch the 7 Day FREE video series and let my mentors, Jay and Stuart talk you through the A to Z of SFM and how affiliate and internet marketing works.