Understanding The Narcissistic Break Up Pattern
It is easily one of the most frustrating parts of dating a Narcissistic female, and it is the break-up to make up NONSENSE that they continuously play throughout the relationship.
The push-pull, somewhat Borderline Personality Disorder, tactic that they implement on to us can make us doubt whether they care about us or are misreading things.
This psychological tactic is excellent for stringing many of us guys back into their insanity they call life.
To these people, drama is everything, and nothing makes their life more dramatic and more fulfilling than breaking up and makeup.
In their deluded, deranged minds, they believe themselves reenacting Hollywood BS Love stories, and nothing gets them off more than repeating this vicious narcissistic break up pattern.
In this article, I want to explain the narcissistic break up pattern is and how you can avoid and get out of these relationships.
You have to understand and take this from a guy who stayed with a narc female for over a decade; THEY WILL NOT STOP THEIR SILLY IRRATIONAL GAMES.
It is just apart of who they are.
Why settle for a nutjob when there are plenty of great women out there who want a committed and healthy relationship just as much as you want one.
She is not the only fish in this sea called life, and you have to learn how to stop hunting after these faux Moby Dicks and start trying to catch something much more valuable.
Note: This article includes affiliate links!
Understanding The Narcissistic Break Up Pattern
Once you understand the narcissistic break up pattern and know what it is that you need to look out for, you can stop these relationships from even starting.
These females all have a pattern that they follow, and once you can spot the signs, you can protect yourself from these headaches.
The Narcissists Return Cycle & The Narcissistic Break Up Pattern
This is basically the hoovering process and during the narcissist’s return cycle, what she will usually do is:
Step 1: Start An Argument For Whatever Lunacy That Enters Her Mind
She will start an argument for the simplest and, in most cases, the NON-EXISTENT reason that enters her mind.
She will claim you are cheating on her, or that you don’t love her enough, or that you never take her out. She will make things up.
This is all apart of her narcissistic break up pattern. If you repeat something long enough, it juts becomes the norm.
And for her the narcissistic break up pattern she is trying to condition us in, is what she is trying to normalize.
You will be caught off guard, and this is common. I cannot tell you how many times I would get caught off guard by her accusations.
(This was back before I had know about the narcissistic break up pattern. back when I was a naive empath.)
I could just be sitting down and out of nowhere, just sheer insanity.
Know that her accusation is nothing more than projection, things she is doing or scared you will do to her.
Step 2: Guilt Loving (You Never Loved Me)
She will claim you never loved her and will say she wants to separate or get a divorce. This is all apart of the narcissistic break up pattern game.
This is a psychological tactic that I call “Guilt Loving.”
They try and get us into loving them for their insanity.
If she thinks that she can make us question if we love her enough, we will keep on showering her with love, presents, and adulation for being the less than mediocre female that she is.
During this time in the narcissistic break up pattern game (that only she is aware she is playing), she is trying to make us fight for her love and tell her how much we need her.
Guilt loving is a tactic to make others fight for your love by making that person think they do not love enough or that they hate a certain person, or group of people.
For example, when a girl comes up to you and says, “I know you’d never like me” or “You never liked me.”
These are psychological tactics used to make us question if we did something to make them think we hate them.
And if we did, we can reconcile that by trying to SHOW THEM we like them or care about them.
It is a sneaky tactic that many of these narcissists use to get people to think about their worthless lives, as well as a means to get us to fall back into their narcissistic break up pattern games.
Step 3: The Lies Of Feeling Threatened By You ~ Understanding The Narcissistic Break Up Pattern
She may call the cops and say she feels threatened by you.
If she does this, and God, they will do these things, wait outside with your hands in the air to show you are not aggressive.
But before you do that, make sure you are recording her on your phone while calling the cops.
These people know that they have the whole victim status image, and she will use that to her advantage.
You record because if you do not and just wait outdoors for the cops to come, she WILL hurt and bruise herself and then claim you did it to her.
I am telling you, THESE PEOPLE can give academy award actors a run in acting.
If you are scared she will see your phone, then get a body cam and place it on your person.
When she lies, NOT IF SHE LIES, when she lies, you will have the evidence you will need, that will show how she made all that stuff up and you can use that against her if you decide to sue or press charges.
Step 4: The Whole Dramatic Separation ~ Understanding The Narcissistic Break Up Pattern
Assuming the cop’s fiasco stuff doesn’t happen, and she tells you to leave, make sure you get all the necessities you need.
Leave all the stuff that you don’t need behind. You do not want to hint that you are using this discard to just up and leave her and leave her because of her own wishes.
Step 5: The Hoovering
After about a few days or maybe a week, they cannot go too long with ut drama in their lives; she will call you and send you messages of how much of an idiot she is (REALLY) and claim that she needs you in her life.
If you are not aware of what a narcissistic female is, most likely you will end up back with her because you think she needs someone to love her.
It is not uncommon for many of these females (witches) to cast a spell on us with their whole tragic history.
“Oh, boo-hoo! This bad thing happened to me.”
If you go back, then rinse and repeat this process and get used to it because they WILL NEVER STOP DOING THIS.
Much like an addict keeps on using drugs because they are addicted to it, so to will, these drama addicts keep string us along with their BS.
Breaking Up With A Narcissist
If you are tired of the whole breaking up with a narcissist just to make up with her in the same week, then the best thing to do is just to go NO CONTACT.
Do not keep on playing these narcissist break up games because it only shows her and makes her think that it is okay to WASTE YOUR TIME.
Your time and life are not for you to live it the way you want but for how she deems fit. And in her insane, irrational, and kidult mind, the way you should spend your time with her is by playing these silly narcissist break up games.
Because it’s so romantic, just like in the movies.
When you decide that breaking up with a narcissist girlfriend or wife is a must for your sanity, make sure you video record that last interaction (get that body cam) because she will claim you abused her and violated her.
She will make you out to be a monster when she was the devil incarnate.
Trust me; I know this from personal history. They will flip the script so quickly, and it will leave you baffled and confused.
Take this from someone who has been in several of these relationships.
Get that body cam when you discard her, protect yourself.
Only You Can End The Narcissistic Break Up Pattern
Only you have the power to end the narcissistic break up pattern. She will NOT do this because as long as you are begging her, pleading with her, and continuing to come back to her when she discards you, you only fuel her insanity.
The way in how narcissists treat their spouses needs to be a crime. The psychological toll that they do to their spouses is just as damaging as any physical attack.
And the only thing that is worst is that for many of us out there who are with these nutjobs, the scars do not show because they are mental and psychological.
These people can cause a myriad of mental illnesses in their partners.
This abuse can arguatively be considered worst with men because most people would not assume that a husband or boyfriend can be…scoff…abused by his chick.
“I mean come on BRO! What are you? Some pansy? Just put that B*tch in her place.”
It boggles my mind how society is cool with someone saying that but laughs at a man for saying he doesn’t want to hit his wife or girlfriend.
What world are we living in?
Empathic Kings: How Narcissists End Their Relationships
Listen Empathic Kings, how narcissists end their relationships is never on a good note.
People say “never say never.”
With these people, it is NEVER on a good note unless YOU JUST LEAVE THEM.
They are not going to stop their narcissistic break up pattern games. It is just in them.
It is in their DNA or in their spirit to be the nasty creatures they are. By staying and putting up with their narcissistic break up pattern games all you do is tell them, it is okay to act and behave in the ways that they do.
I promise you that there are plenty of good decent women out there, but you have to let go of the trash holding you down. And yes, these toxic narcissistic women are trash.
Put them down and go out and find that precious gem of a woman elsewhere.
Don’t continue to waste your life chasing after these nasty females.
Need Support Empathic Kings
If you feel that you are alone and have NO ONE to talk to, I highly recommend therapy.
As much as a blog can enlighten you and shed some light on your situation, nothing beats professional help.
With my affiliate link, you can get 20% off your first month’s session at Online Therapy.
Get the help you need Empathic Kings because the world already has a lot of douches. I think we could use a bit more good men.