How To Deal With A Narcissist Wife
It is not uncommon to hear, from society, about how bad a narcissistic husband can be. Men, unfortunately, get the short stick when it comes to abuse in a relationship.
And although it is more likely for women to be abused by men than the other way around, the truth of the matter is that there are still plenty of good men out there who are abused regularly, and it goes unrecorded and unheard.
Leaving a narcissistic wife is not as easy as one may think it is. Just walking away from them will not end the drama, much like just walking away from a narcissistic husband is not just going to stop the problem.
Narcissists, male or female, are incredibly obsessive and possessive people.
The idea of walking away from them, especially when they have not discarded us or have used us up enough, will cause a massive narcissistic collapse, and it will damage and may even destroy their ego.
When people like this get their feelings hurt, the only thing they want and think about is your destruction.
In this article, I will explain how to deal with a narcissist wife if you feel like you just can’t up and leave her.
Note: This article includes affiliate links!
How To Deal With A Narcissist Wife
1 – When Divorce Is Not A Feasible Action, Force Her, By Grey Rocking To Push For It
When Divorce is not a viable option, and you feel like she will not leave you alone, the best thing to do is put your foot down.
And by this, I am not alluding to the fact of you growing balls; I mean, you refuse to play into her melodrama.
It is not sexist to say that females are more prone to feeling emotional than men are, and with narcissistic wives, this is especially true.
They are very emotional, and the best way to deal with these people and really get them off your back and show them how powerless they really are is not giving them energy.
Grey rocking them is a fantastic way to hurt them without having to attack them physically.
The purpose of grey rocking her is to put her in a position where she will want to divorce you and COMPLETELY be rid of you.
Now, it is important to understand that these people never change. And if you stay with her, she will make the rest of your life a living hell.
Trying to console and reconcile and rebuild back your relationship is never going to happen.
Drama to her is what water is to us; a necessity to survive.
When we grey rock them, we are starving them.
Know that she will up her lunacy — but staying cool, calm, collected, and BORING above all else will drive her insane, and she will WANT a divorce.
2 – Do Not Be Afraid Of The Divorce
Now, I know for many guys out there that divorce is a bit frustrating and undesired. Not because we want to be with these crazy people but because of the ramifications that may follow.
She may get custody of the kids, we may have to pay alimony, and we might not be able to stay in the house that we may have purchased.
There is a myriad of things to consider when divorcing. But the most important factor of NOT staying with these people is the sanity we will keep.
To stay will only drive you more into depression and anxiety, and depression and anxiety are growing in men at a rapid pace in America.
The thing about Grey Rock and how it fits into the plan on dealing with a Narcissist Wife is that it will put her in a position where she will want nothing to do with you.
Silence is a power that many of us overlook, and you’d be amazed at how, once she sees she cannot affect you emotionally, she will back off and even want to get away from you.
Controlling how you feel is one hell of a superpower.
When and if you divorce, she will want out so bad that she will settle on things that are more in your favor than her own.
Do not underestimate how much these people need drama.
Take it from a guy who has been in several of these relationships; THEY NEED DRAMA.
Grey rocking them is such a power that we overlook.
Reverse Psychology
I had a friend who had divorced his narcissist wife, and she would make it hard for him NOT to see his kids. He would argue with her about seeing the kids, and she would make it that much harder to keep them away from him.
Until one day, he said, “You know what. It’s cool. My own mother abandoned me when I was a boy. I am used to not having family in my life. You don’t want the kids to see me. No problem. Maybe later on in life, we can bond, but I am not going to fight you. Peace out.”
When he said this to her, she did a 180 turn and STOPPED arguing and b*tching at him.
He saw his kids a heck of a lot easier.
Lesson
Now, this can be a considerable gamble to play, and I don’t know how I feel about it wholly.
But…
I am very sure, very sure the reason they attack us and make a life for us so hard is that in their minds, if we hate them, at least we still think about them.
Once we show them we really are okay with not seeing them and allowing them to have everything they “act” as they want, they will be more calm and reasonable.
It is because we lash out, argue, vent and rage at them that they keep doing their nasty deeds.
But the moment we just accept their nasty nature and DO NOT FIGHT BACK, we disarm them and cause cognitive dissonance in them.
They are looking for a fight and arguing, but when we go cold on them, bland (grey rock them), and just give in to their perceivable insane wants and desires, they very well may just flip the script and start acting or behaving normally.
There is SO MUCH POWER IN CONTROLLING OUR FEELINGS.
Do NOT overlook Grey Rocking!
3 – Show Them How Unimportant They Are And Their Tune Will Change
When she starts belittling you and beginning to make you feel like you are unimportant, accept it.
When she tells you to leave the house, go see friends, heck even try and go out there and mingle with females.
It doesn’t have to be romantic or a swing. I am not alluding to that. I am just saying start considering making new friends and forging new relationships (platonic) with others.
Narcissists try and isolate us from others because they do not want us to feel like we matter to others.
Making friends with others is a huge middle finger to their face.
Understand that she may be watching, and she will start thinking that maybe SHE isn’t as much of a catch as she thinks.
These people work very hard to project their inadequacies onto us.
Accepting what they “say” they want and not fighting back goes against what their crazy narrative says about us to them, will confuse them.
For us, it is all about NOT fitting into the character or image they have of us in their minds.
The best way to show them how unimportant they are to us is by accepting their hatred for us and living our lives as if they do not matter.
Think about this.
They work so hard to tear us down and destroy our lives. Imagine the EFFORT it takes to do this.
Think about how you would feel if you worked so hard to accomplish something for someone.
Think about you working 3 months for someone building them a house, and at the end of it, all they say is…”meh!”
Imagine how crushing that would be.
This same logic applies to the narcissist when they do something bad. They do this to GET A REACTION.
A lack of a reaction hurts them on a massive level.
Believe me; I know this from personal relationships with them.
By not reacting or responding, we show them how all their efforts are for nothing, and this will cause a huge narcissistic collapse.
Final Thoughts
When learning how to deal with a narcissist wife controlling YOUR emotions is key.
You cannot let them rile you up. You cannot let them make you react. The best way to deal with these people is to give them no attention.
Play reverse psychology with them. Let them think what is hurting you is okay with you, and they will most likely flip their script.
Learn how to detach yourself emotionally from her, and she will start questioning her actions.
There are many ways to put your foot down without having to be physical.
Emotional and psychological self-control is just one of those ways.
Need Support
Going through a divorce can be STRESSFUL.
As much as a blog can illuminate some light on your situation, nothing beats professional help.
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