The controversy over Homework seems to be the same as the fable about the ant and the grasshopper. Schools countrywide have been warning that "grasshopper" kids who don't do homework -- which studies show is up by more than 50 percent in the last 20 years -- may not have the skills they need to survive a metaphorical winter while the "ant" kids will be warm, well fed and secure.

Then, in 2008, came a snapping point. Within a couple of months three things happened that forced parents, administrators and the kids themselves to rethink the whole notion of homework.

A middle schooler, distraught over a poor math score, took her own life.

Filmmaker Vicki Abeles began work on the film, "Race to Nowhere," which examines the pressures kids are under.

And Danville mother of two Kerry Dickinson, already concerned about the amount of after-school work her middle-school aged sons were doing, read the book, "The Homework Myth."

"I started talking about it," Dickinson said. She invited 10 parents to her home to discuss what homework was doing to their lives.

While that led to a broader discussion about what makes a good parent or a good teacher and the amount of stress that kids are under, Dickinson said there was a general agreement.

"What we saw most often was a lot of homework, and homework that seemed to be not of the highest quality -- just busy work," she said.

While many parents would have had a good gripe session and be done with it, that wasn't the case for Dickinson or her friend, Julie Kurtz. The two approached Kirby Hoy, who was at the time, the district's director of curriculum and instruction. They came armed with an informal poll of parents, and, according to Kurtz, an email list of 100 parents; Dickinson said she and Kurtz played good cop/bad cop. A week later, the district announced it was forming a task force to look at homework policy, which hadn't been updated since 1995.

"The old one was pretty vague and open ended. The new one is a little more detailed in terms of suggestions and guidelines about the amount of time to be spent in each grade," Dickinson said. "It tries to take into account the busyness of the modern family."

Among other things, the policy discourages homework on weekends and holidays. It lays out the responsibilities of students, parents and teachers, including collaboration of teachers to prevent homework overload and test stacking, when two or three tests in different subjects are scheduled near one another, not giving time enough for students to study for each.

"If every teacher is giving an hour and a half of homework every night and not talking to each other, that has a detrimental effect," said Kurtz, a marriage and family therapist. Kurtz said she believes in group projects outside the school. She also said she's not opposed to homework in general, and that it can be useful in subjects like math to reinforce what was taught in class.

"I just don't think children should be sitting all day, then coming home at night and sitting," Kurtz said. "You need balance, you need time to build social skills, experience nature. ... You need to have free time."

Dickinson, a former teacher herself, said coordination between teachers isn't a given.

"It's going to be specific to the teacher and the school. It's a suggestion and that doesn't mean it's going to happen," she said, adding that parents have the fallback they've always had: direct talks with the teacher first, and approaching an administrator if that fails.

Dickinson, who writes a Academic homework help blog also got to know Abeles and became an advisor on "Race to Nowhere."

She said the anti-homework movement that's been gaining momentum across the country won't apply to everyone.

"Some parents love seeing their kids doing three or four hours a night," Dickinson said.

For herself and her sons, now both in high school, Dickinson's new mindset has paid off. The amount of homework they get varies nightly, but Dickinson said, "I'm a much more hands off parent now."

"Actually, they're a lot more responsible for their own work and they get better grades now than when I was pushing them," she added.

While parents and teachers may have taken much of the blame for the amount of homework, Dickinson said it's often the kids themselves that get caught up.

"There's a lot of competition in our district. There's a lot of comparing that goes on. The fact that kids have instant access to their grades is distressing," she said. "There's a lot of pressure."

But neither parents nor kids have to buy into that pressure.

"My son is looking at Cal State schools and I think that's going to be a great match for him," Dickinson said, pointing out that acceptance is based on grades or tests, but not both, and they're less expensive.

After her experiences with "Race to Nowhere" and what she's learned first hand, Dickinson has some simple advice.

"There is no normal," she said, adding that parents shouldn't try to fit their kids in a box. "If you do, you're just setting yourself up for four years of misery."