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Open and Shut (San-Sea)

I think my previous post has festered long enough for me to begin another. Believe me, I can and could add a new post every day, more than once a day. However, that would be overkill, insanity, too much of a good thing, and I would probably be done with all of my books within a week. I need to let these posts go a few days before a new one is presented.

Continuing the Family Circle Illustrated Library of Cooking, 1972, I decided on Volume 14 San-Sea which includes Sandwiches--Open and Shut, Saucery (not Sorcery), and The Sea's Bounty. As with the other posts, if the caption is in quotations, they came from the book itself.

Sandwiches--Open and Shut: I kind of wanted to open and shut this book as I went through the pages, and once I finish, I will add it to my book mountain. 

Saucery--Nothing much about the bukkake of foods. I have learned that anything with "aise" at the end of it is a warning sign to stay away.

The Sea's Bounty--As I have used seafood as the topic of many a post, I will tread lightly on this one because all I saw were a bunch of sole roulades and shrimp.

I have been told that I can ruin a food without giving it a second thought. I'll accept that! Really, I'm not the one ruining these foods. I'm just adding on to their misery.

Family Circle Illustrated Library of Cooking, 1972, Volume 14, San-Sea. If I cooked in 1972, which was for all intents and purposes impossible since I didn't grace the earth until 1974, I probably wouldn't make it to volume 14 of this series.
I don't know if I need to point out the obvious flaw in what was going on with this description. The first few sentences fluff and fart about the prose of sandwiches, the delight in sauces and gravies, and then says there is an entire cookbook devoted to seafood. Entirety would not be restricted to a third of the book. I'm neither inexperienced nor an accomplished cook. What about a lazy cook? That's where I fall. See, no need for volume 14.
I'm HOPING this is just a standard run of the mill Peanut Butter and jelly sandwich. I'm not finding any description or recipe to tell me otherwise, but the part of me that doesn't want to talk about it has a feeling there is way more to this than peanut butter and jelly. It's flaky. Peanut butter is not flaky. Let's just assume the worst.
Peanut butter and lettuce sandwich. Never thought I would put those together. Hope to never do it again. What justice does a gherkin sticking out of the middle like a little green boner serve?
"Teenagers and tweenagers go for Barbecue Bunburgers and Rivieras." Contents: Barbecue filling from a can, cheese from a package. (from the recipe itself). I'm sure the teenagers and tweenagers will also be clamoring for the bowl of pearled onions in the middle too.
Yep, youngfolk, this is how they used to do it. The six of them would have their coffee and meatloaf sandwiches and gather around the little old black and white TV. There was a seventh, but he was Busy holding the antennae made out of aluminum foil and a coat hanger in the right spot.
Little celery sticks in olives and a sandwich dry enough to take off no less than three layers off the roof of your mouth.
"This isn't an angel food Cake but Ham and Egg towers." Well, no shit that isn't an Angel Food Cake. A rule of thumb is anything that might look like a cake smeared with white "frosting" and dusted with chopped parsley and a curly pickle garnish is probably not going to be a sweet cake. Kind of like the king vs coral snake adage: Red on black is a friend of Jack. Red on yellow will kill a fellow. Or however the damn rhyme goes. There's a gazillion variations on it. Point is green leafy on white cake is not a cake you want to eat!
"Too busy to cook or eat? Try Sunny Egg Burgers." Okay well if you are too busy to cook and too busy to eat, how will this prepared and how will it enter your body? And looking at it, I feel like I am too busy to think about cooking that because it doesn't look all that simple.
Stuffed ham slices. What are they looking at? Kind of creeping me out here. Sandwiches with eyeballs.
I can stare at you ugly things too (that's really my eye)
We can do this all day.
Bet none of you ever stared down a Stuffed Ham Slices sandwich.
Cold Cut Roll Ups (yuck) with a bright upside down yellow pepper (weird)
"Whopper heroes are the heroes to end all heroes." Okay. Let this be the end of heroes then. No more. Bye.
"Crab isn't the usual sandwich filling but Alaskan king crab and frozen peas, swiss cheese, celery, parsley, and mayonnaise team up for Hot Crab Salad Boats." Sink the ship. Damn the torpedos. Do something. Just don't eat it!
I see what they did there. In another effort to be deceiving, this Ribbon Sandwich Cake is to look innocent with the pink background behind it and little dainty bites surrounding it. Beware! Green leaves on white spread! Vegetable garnish! It's not a sweet cake!
Just because I like the word "saucery."
You know how you get sick, throw up the first time, think your stomach is empty, only to go a second round and it's thick and orange with what's left of the food? Well this is what I am thinking of when I see this Mandarin Raisin Sauce. My throat is burning.
Baked Roulade of Sole. "Dramatic dinner in a dish." Dramatic. That's a bit of an od word for it. Bland would be what I'm thinking. Without a soul maybe.
There's so much busy in here, I don't know where to begin or if I even should. I'll pass. It's just too busy.
Without reading the description, I knew this had something to do with tuna. Deviled Tuna Bake. Not a surprise at all.
"Worthy of the Finest Sterling Dish, Mardi Gras Seafood Bake made with canned and frozen foods." If that's what's worthy of your finest sterling dish, then your sterling dish is not very valued or your food standards are low.
Open and Shut. That's what is about to happen to this book.   

This post first appeared on Bad And Ugly Of Retro Food, please read the originial post: here

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Open and Shut (San-Sea)


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