Renouncing Heaven was easy
once I heard they renounced you.
A heaven that mandates
who and how I should love,
a heaven that deems you unworthy
has no hold on me.
The only hell I fear
is eternity with no hope
of seeing you again.
So I amassed these petty atrocities,
strung them together, like the pearls
that nestle around your irresistible throat.
Each bloody jewel
gave me another moment, another chance
to find you again, truest jewel of my heart.
Did you expect me to apologize for that?
No, dear Mina, I’d fill ballrooms with such pearls
if it meant you could remember
a time you loved me as much.
That doesn’t matter now—your remembering—
all that matters is I’ve found you.
We will make new memories.
I’ll forgive and forget everything,
including the little fool fluttering around you
(as if he could possibly know you
the way I once did).
You must have been lonely too. I understand.
I’ll always forgive you,
only you,
my Mina.
There is nothing you could demand from me,
no penance or perversion too vile,
that I would not cheerfully perform
if you would just take my hand again,
accept the life I remade
for us,
and smile for me,
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