I thought I'd gotten used to the process
of things getting broken—
broken home, broken promises.
Watching your brother's bones break
while screaming in the background
is different.
long before the moment my world shattered,
the moment that still threatens
to steal all my will from me.
I didn’t want anyone to see that.
Why should they?
I rolled past complications
as fast as my skateboard would take me.
I never thought grief would be
the speedbump flinging me into the dark,
where even my friends can’t find me.
I met a girl,
on the verge of forgetting her magic.
I reminded her
no guy gets to define her
choices or her power.
I met a boy
full of imagination and loyalty.
We reminded each other
that choosing love
usually means choosing to be real.
I met a monster
who reminded me I could drown,
I met myself
in the darkness, tying my spirit
to notes and words
strong enough to wrap around my heartbreak.
All I can do now is hope
that it’s enough to remind myself
I’m the girl who stands up to grownups and monsters,
the one with the unbeatable score,
and I can outrun this moment.
I didn’t want anyone to see that.
Why should they?
I rolled past complications
as fast as my skateboard would take me.
I never thought grief would be
the speedbump flinging me into the dark,
where even my friends can’t find me.
I met a girl,
on the verge of forgetting her magic.
I reminded her
no guy gets to define her
choices or her power.
I met a boy
full of imagination and loyalty.
We reminded each other
that choosing love
usually means choosing to be real.
I met a monster
who reminded me I could drown,
choking on contradictions of love and hate
while I torture myself
with every variation of “what if”.
(What if the world hadn't ground you down first?
while I torture myself
with every variation of “what if”.
(What if the world hadn't ground you down first?
What if I shouted louder?
What if we were better to each other?
What if I wasn't a screwup?)
I met myself
in the darkness, tying my spirit
to notes and words
strong enough to wrap around my heartbreak.
All I can do now is hope
that it’s enough to remind myself
I’m the girl who stands up to grownups and monsters,
the one with the unbeatable score,
and I can outrun this moment.
Song Choice: What else but that scene from Stranger Things? Warning, if you aren't caught up (and you plan to be at some point) listen to this cover of Running Up That Hill by Rain Paris instead.
Liner Notes for This Groove: This poem was created for the Friday Writings post at Poets and Storytellers United, TV Time.
This post first appeared on Http://kestrilsrhythmsandgroove.blogspot.com/, please read the originial post: here
