He was working so hard at forgetting that it hurt. While he hid in his bed, hoping sleep would erase the Pain, the memories sneaked in and snuggled up to him … and there they still were to greet him each morning with their grim faces and bad breath. The pain and dread returned as he tried to push them away and they merely slipped to the floor, hidden from sight but still close.
Rather than pushing, he could have pulled, embracing them as the sun rose. He didn’t know this. He could have fed them breakfast and listened to what they wished to tell him.
Their Story was never as bad as he imagined it but he didn’t know this either. Their story might be of a loved one’s death, a rejection from someone or someone else he rejected and died from. It’s story of pain and tears may have welled up as his heart beat raggedly. If he’d let the tears come, let the feelings arise in his gut, chest or throat … if only he’d let them tell their Stories over and over.
Unlike his human children, these children of his recall would have receded the more he fed them, the more he embraced them and the more he heard them with his open, fragile heart. As their stories were released from his soul, they would not have rent his heart – they would have mended it, knitting the savage rips and staunching the bloody flow.
It was much later that he heard of the Letting Go process from David Hawkins. For now, we just wished he’d take a deep breath and know that the memories won’t go away until he acknowledged them. Like the tax man, they will not disappear when rebuffed. Instead, he comes knocking louder and louder till we must let him in. And so with his dreaded memories that he must let in to allow them the telling of their stories and them allow him to put voice to them and expel them from his body. On this rock we all stand, the pain and dread always goes in the embracing and voicing just as it has for the rest of us.
But he didn’t know this.
His stories and memories have not changed. When happened is still what happened. The happenings are just facts and, as we know, we cannot be upset at a fact – only at what we make of a fact, only the story we make of a fact. However, what does change is the stories around the stories. The facts remain the facts but releasing them from his mind undoes the stories that cause upset. Releasing them from his mind, through his throat and out of his mouth would have allowed their impact on his heart and soul to drain away to nothing.
But he didn’t know this. Not until much, much later.
Only much later, when he finally listened and told his stories, did they dissolve as the morning mist in the bright sun of day. Only much later did he allow himself to become so much lighter and freer. But he didn’t know this, then.