Nichola Graham, a gifted make-up artist and mom of Lily, is a champion of both make-up artist’s working rights and make-up standards. She has just published ‘Ur Makeup Industry‘ a veritable tome of make-up information that is fast becoming a bible for Irish beauty enthusiasts

Tell me a bit about your background (education, career)

I’m a proud Dub; despite having lived all over the place for most of my adult life. In secondary school, I always loved Art and English. Little did I know how prevalent those two subjects would become in my Career.

In the early ’90s, I moved to the UK and was heavily involved in the music scene. I worked as a PA in London and also dabbled in photography, styling, and make-up. I suppose I was lucky enough and ballsy enough to walk into the likes of EMI and Warner Music and work with newly signed bands and singers.

When I moved back to Dublin in the late ’90s I started working again as a PA – until I decided I wanted to work in a more creative environment again. I studied make-up in Dublin for a year and then advanced my skills at an amazing school in Manchester called School of Make-up. I knew I had found my calling so to speak.

I’ve been working as a freelance Make-up Artist for over 17 years now. My work predominantly is make-up for commercials – TV adverts and print campaigns. I also teach specific make-up skills for some great schools and I still do some photography, mainly beauty shots for make-up students. Oh and I also spent the last two years writing a book for the Make-up Industry in Ireland. Luckily it’s been a very big hit!

Did having children change how you felt about your career? How so?

Absolutely! When I had my daughter Lily I realised that my purpose had changed. In a lot of ways, it made me more focused to make my career work for me. I guess I want to ensure that Lily grows up with a mom who is successful. I want to make sure that she understands the importance of having your own money, being your own person and having confidence in your abilities.

What changes did you make to make your career work for you?

I had to be more organised. Especially as a freelancer, it can be very easy to get complacent and to see a day where you aren’t physically leaving the house for a job as a day off. That really isn’t and can’t be the case. The only way that I can function now is to make sure I get up and get ready for the day. I need to have some sort of schedule, even while I am looking after a one-year-old at the same time! After breakfast, I know that Lily will happily sit and watch her favourite cartoon for a while and that’s my window of opportunity to get to some emails and make any phone calls I need to.

How did you feel when making these changes?

Honestly, initially, I found it so stressful not being able to just do what I needed to do, whether that was responding to an email or updating my website. You start to feel guilty and think that you should be able to do everything! I think my mindset changed for the better when I accepted that I couldn’t do things like I used to. It was a weight off my shoulders and I stopped feeling guilty for not being superwoman! Now I have a list of things I need to get done within a day, with no set times as that’s just unrealistic when you are also a full-time mom. When you accept that you actually start to enjoy work.

How did your partner support you through this time?

I’ve been very lucky that my partner Mark was able to reduce his work hours and help so much with Lily in the first few months of her life. He was happy to be an at home dad actually. It meant I could concentrate on finishing my book and he helped with keeping on top of emails and research for the book. I don’t think I could have written the book that I have if it hadn’t been for his support throughout my pregnancy and the first year of Lily’s life. Sometimes, I look back and wonder how the hell I managed it! It really is amazing what you can achieve when you put your mind to it.

What worked and what didn’t work along the way?

What doesn’t work is a partner that doesn’t understand that despite the fact that you are at home you are actually still working. Our house is pretty small and my desk is in the living room where cartoons play loudly in the background, dogs and cats are roaming around looking to go outside, to come inside and then go outside again. You have a child who’s trying to climb on everything and when he’s home, a partner that will ask you random questions about whether the animals have been fed or where his favourite jumper is. This is all going on while you are trying to get a second to make a quiet phone call to a client or respond to an email or fulfill a book order. It’s tough!

When visitors come for the day, it can’t be out of the blue. That’s a big no-no. You need to be able to set time aside to really enjoy their company and the break from anything work related. What works is when everyone around you can appreciate you need to be able to concentrate solely on your job. Even if that is just for a couple of hours each day without interruptions, questions or demands. Being able to do that without feeling guilty is vital. Support and understanding about what you are trying to achieve are key.

Considering your happiness levels before making a switch to now – how have they improved/decreased?

Personally, I am happier now than I have ever been. Despite the big changes and adjustments that have to be made in your household when a child comes along, it’s really worth it. Freelancing can have its quiet days and sitting twiddling your thumbs can take its toll. Having Lily to concentrate on as well as work, for me, is so great. I love the purpose that motherhood offers. Her little smiling face would brighten anyone’s day.

I really do have a huge amount of respect for mothers now. Whether you are working as a full-time mom or working on your career too, it’s tough and takes a very strong person to get through it. We forget to pat ourselves on the back and we really should.

How do you rate your work/life balance?

I think my work/life balance is pretty good. I guess I’m lucky to be in the situation that I am right now. My freelance work is booked in on days that Mark can work from home and look after Lily.

Three bits of advice for working mothers?

1. Be organised and I don’t just mean when it comes to work! My most productive days are when I have prepared the night before. From sorting out what I’ll wear the following day to making myself a spot of lunch the night before. It all helps make my day go so much more smoothly.
2. Be realistic about what you can achieve within a day. Don’t try to be everything to everyone!
3. Don’t be afraid to look after yourself first. Even if that’s only having an extra long bath, getting your nails done or enjoying walking around the supermarket by yourself. You have to do that to stay sane!

Would you like to be featured on The Working Mom? Send an email to [email protected] and tell us a little bit about your career, how you manage to balance your work and life balance and let us know if you’ve made any drastic changes to facilitate your family and career.

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