Parents are not obliged to disclose to their children that they are the fruit of an assisted reproduction technique , in the same way that naturally conceived Children are not told how conception occurred. But if they ask, the truth must prevail, counted according to their maturity and as one more explanation of family ties.

This is what Catalina Munar, a clinical psychologist, has explained in her talk How and when is it explained to a child who is adopted or born by assisted reproduction techniques? , pronounced in the USP-Dexeus University Institute, of Barcelona.

The assisted reproduction techniques are very recent. “We have met children suddenly and still have not resolved many legal, ethical and psychological issues,” said Munar. But, in reference to the psychological dimension, this expert assures that numerous studies have been carried out that prove that there are no differences in emotional stability between children conceived naturally and those born thanks to assisted reproduction.

Only if they are premature , since they are born more when there are more multiple births, the problems are attributable to prematurity and not to the technique itself . However, no study addresses how to inform them about assisted conception. The Dexeus University Institute, under the baton of Diana Guerra, participated in a European research which confirmed the good evolution of these children and their family ties and also found that 90 percent of parents hide their genetic origin.

In this regard, Munar affirms that it is preferable to tell him in a natural way when there is a differential physical trait that might make the child suspect the absence of a biological link with his parents. It is also advisable not to hide it when the technique of reproduction used has involved a donation of ovules or sperm and the offspring have the risk of developing a hereditary disease.

Above all, Munar emphasizes that the child should know that it was so desired that, as an example, he says, his parents went to look for doctors who kept a cell to help them conceive it. The news should be communicated to him as a process, without recreating in technical aspects that he is not capable of understanding or comments that could hurt him such as “you were frozen” or “you are not your father’s son”.

Magical phrases

Beside these, there are other magic phrases such as “you have always been and you are my son” or “the role of father goes beyond the reproductive cell”, both especially useful in adolescence, a stage in which the pubic question the paternal authority . Other options, if the child is young, are: “The doctors will help us understand it” and “when you are older you can understand it better”.

On this, Munar argues that from the age of 12 the children are very interested in the reproductive process and that they can understand it well , although from the age of 6 you can already comment on their origin, without going into the details of the technique. In his opinion, it is positive that the pediatrician knows, since it can help parents to solve scientific questions that are beyond their knowledge.

Now Munar, along with psychologist Roser Porta and pediatrician Virginia Montoya, will follow, for at least 6 years, a large sample of children to study if informing them that they are a test tube is conditioning their lives.

Who I am?

” Every person has the desire to know their origins because it allows them to build their identity, to know where they come from. This has always been the case in the history of civilizations. It is proper to the human being and we must respect it in children. But our job is to ensure that an event in this category does not condition your whole life, but that it helps you in your development and in your ties, “says Catalina Munar, who does not tire of repeating that, regardless of how they were conceived -naturally or by assisted reproduction, we must make them understand that they are very dear and beloved children In fact, in the case of adoption – that parents should always explain to their children in a natural way and from the first moment – the possible problems they can have the little ones fade away when they come to understand that, in the end, “they have been more loved than abandoned”.

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