How should you explain to your child that he is going to have a little brother
When some parents already have a child and decide to go for the next one, a series of doubts and concerns begin to appear in the child, since it is clear that there will be a change in the family dynamics, that is, it will change from being the son only to have to share space with a baby, which also occupy the greatest possible time of their parents.
In this same line, Ana Belén León, educational psychologist specializes in maternity, upbringing and positive education of enpositivoYes , recommends that the adequate time to have the second child should be after the first child has completed the year . “I think it is important to consider that the first year of age of the first child is exclusive, because of the need that babies have for attention and care during this period and because during those first 12 months the attachment is formed and it is necessary that the link with parents are made progressively and can spend time, “he says.
How should I tell him
There is no concrete formula or a correct or incorrect way to tell the child that he is going to have a little Brother, the way it is done will depend a lot on the maturity of the child, as well as on the age . It is not the same to tell a 2 year old boy that a brother is coming, than to do it with a 12 year old. “If the child is small (2 to 6 years ) there are stories to explain what happens during the gestation period , so you can understand what is happening and forming expectations about it. As they become larger, we must offer them a more mature vision of the experience of having a brother and that he will occupy the greater place , which will allow them to feel protagonists in the process, “says León.
It is also important to adapt the language when we tell it: “We can explain that in the belly of Mom there is a new baby that is growing and that after a while will be born and we will be one more in the family” says the educational psychologist. You always have to answer the possible questions that arise , because it will help the child to get an idea of what will be the process of this new brother that he will have.
The time to communicate the news is also important , the ideal is not to say it too soon, since the children will be asking from time to time when their little brother will be born; Not too late. ” The ideal is to discuss it when the first weeks have already passed or when Mom begins to notice her belly , that way the child can have evidence of how a change is taking place in her mother’s body and can be made to the idea of having a brother, “explains León. It is also advisable to communicate at the same time as the rest of the family members or the environment that they frequent, since it would not be at all convenient for them to find out otherwise.
It is normal for the child to go from being interested in the new event to not wanting to know anything about the baby from one day to the next; or when born, the typical phase of jealousyoccurs . “These make the child call more attention or even have some setbacks in their evolution, such as peeing or suddenly sleep worse or behave as children younger than their age,” says the educational psychologist. As parents we have to accept that emotion and validate it as something natural of the process “if we accompany them in those feelings and we help them understand that they are also protagonists of that experience, they will progressively improve”, says León.
How do we make the child participate in this event? The expert responds through various activities that help both be part of pregnancy and, subsequently, to take care of tasks related to the baby, such as preparing the bottle, wipes, be responsible for the pacifier, and so on.
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