Here at the-Coaching Blog-run by Gerard O’Donovan, our aim is to constantly bring value to those seeking to improve their lives. Therefore we have a policy of publishing articles and materials by guest authors whom we value and appreciate. Today’s guest author is Fabrizia Ingenito (Italy).

A Coaching partnership is a unique opportunity to solve a conflict in a mediation process and in any conflictual situation and relationship. I believe the coaching competencies are a great instrument to help people to discover, accept and put together different points of view and feelings and finally find a satisfactory solution for every person involved.

Two coaching moments can be very strategic in a solution-oriented mediation meeting:

1. Before the mediation meeting happens
2. During the mediation meeting or when the conflict occurs

Before the Meeting

One or more coaching sessions can be very precious for people involved in a conflict before attending a mediation meeting. Coaching sessions work on awareness and allow the coachee to be more conscious about his needs and goals before he or she attends the meeting. On the other hand, coaching sessions provide an extraordinary instrument to lower the level of conflict and transforms the desire to fight. As a matter of fact, coaching sessions enable the coachee to lighten their ideas about the situation, to understand what is pushing them forward, and to identify the final result they really want obtain.

During the Meeting

Coaching competencies are an extraordinary skill in facilitating the best outcome in a dispute.

If called to a mediation meeting, and the mediator possesses coaching competencies such as active listening and powerful questioning ability, we have a very high probability of global success. That is, we will have achieved a good outcome for every person involved in the dispute. A “Coach-Mediator” is able to explore the starting point of everyone and the reasons beyond the spoken words, dealing with the emotional impulses of the individuals, and stimulate people to find common points to create an agreement. To be able to explore and to listen actively are essential steps to arrive at a resolution.

The Awareness Scale(1)

The “Awareness scale” is one of the instruments a “Coach-Mediator” can use to carry out the exploration phase. A Coach-Mediator can climb the scale from the bottom to the top using powerful questions. Let’s have a look at the scale step by step

First step: Context

Items belonging to the context are related to facts, personal reality, the perception of the reality, happenings, individual culture and so on.

Second step: Internal barriers

Questions from these steps allow beliefs and prejudices to emerge.

Third step: Needs

It is necessary to understand the needs moving people into conflicts.

Fourth step: Values

Listening to the personal values makes the mediator understand the driver’s people follow in their lives and, accordingly, in the conflict.

Fifth step: Individual willing

Sometimes people do not declare their real willingness and this could generate confusion, misunderstandings, and difficulty of solution.

Final step: Sharing common points

Every previous step adds an element to discover the common points which can be the basis for the final agreement

The Scale could be a useful guide not to forget the essential items a coach-mediator needs to explore to allow the participants to change their tune and to open a view for a satisfactory solution.

A “Coach-Mediator” should never forget to be neutral and impartial towards people and never judge their issues. His noble task is to be open-minded and lead people towards the solution that they themselves wish to go.

Keep in mind that everyone has a good reason why to assert their opinion and at the same time take for granted that everyone desires a satisfactory solution to put an end to a dispute.

Credit Source:

Fabrizia Ingenito

Executive and Corporate Coach, PCC

Professional Mediator

(1) From “Reconciling by Coaching” Author Fabrizia Ingenito – Editor Franco Angeli, Milano, Italy  2010