Divorce is messy, especially if you have children and assets to consider. There once was a time when the mothers automatically received sole Custody simply because they were the mother, but those days are over. Approximately 50% of the custody cases today end with the father getting sole custody so don’t assume anything. Mothers can lose custody of their children. Here are the top five reasons why.

First, all divorcing couples begin with joint custody rights. Judges make decisions based on the “best interest” of the child or children but joint custody is assumed until further information is gathered. Let’s look at the top five ways that a mother can lose custody.

1. Child abuse or sexual abuse is the number one reason that a mother can lose custody of her child. Sometimes this comes in the form of “corporal punishment” such as spanking or other physical acts of punishing a child – there is a fine line between discipline and physical abuse. In a custody battle, a swat on the bottom may be interpreted by a spouse as true physical abuse, so be careful. (In addition, false accusations of abuse can also hurt your case. If you accuse the father of abusing your child and it becomes known that you were lying, it won’t look good for you!)
2. Domestic violence is another reason a mother can lose custody. And yes, women can be abusers as well. Female abusers are on the rise so don’t assume that only men are capable of domestic abuse. Even if the mother abuses the father but not the children it still won’t look good in a custody battle.
3. Substance abuse of any kind does not go over well in family court – drugs, alcohol, even cigarettes can be considered substance abuse. Even casual use of alcohol or drugs will make it more difficult to win custody. Charges such as reckless endangerment and DWIs are even more serious, so stay out of trouble.
4. Child abduction is the second most common reason that a mother loses custody. If you take the child without the permission of the other parent, the judge will not look kindly on this – it will be considered child abduction. If you violate the terms of the custody agreement (you have to have the other parent’s permission) then you yourself can lose custody of your child.
5. The last reason a mother can lose custody of her child or children is by not being the primary caretaker or not being involved in her children’s lives prior to the divorce or custody hearing. This means you must know minute details about their school, teachers, extracurricular activities, health, hobbies, and the like. You must be intimately involved in your child or children’s lives and you must be able to demonstrate this in court.

Raising a child is a collaborative business, even in the face of divorce or separation. The judge will decide based on the best interests of the child and will consider how the two parents are co-parenting so it’s in your best interest to work together through some of these issues. If you are in need of documented proof to bring any of these issues to light in a courtroom, consider hiring a private investigator to uncover that information instead of doing it yourself.

Darrin Giglio, lead investigator and owner of North American PI, agrees that professional surveillance is essential to determine people’s patterns, where they go, who they spend time with, and whether they are involved in illegal or illicit activities (such as gambling, drug Abuse, reckless driving, drunk driving, alcoholism, criminal behavior or any other behaviors that might make them unsuitable as parents). It’s worth the investment in order to protect your children.

If you’re looking to prove to the courts that your significant other isn’t suitable as a sole guardian, you’ll need a private investigator on your side. Surveillance by a private investigator can help you to uncover the truth in situation and prove it in court.

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