How to Win Friends and Influence People
You may recognize the title of this article. It is that of a Book written by the late Dale Carnegie. The advice in the book remains timeless.
In no way is this meant to steal from the original book. This was written as a kind of review of the book and as a reminder that this book can truly serve as a life guide on how to be influential. The book spells out some common sense techniques, yet many people fail to implement them, even after they have read the book. This is why Dale Carnegie himself, suggested using the book as a reference after the first read. It’s important to reinforce the techniques described from time-to-time.
In no way is this meant to steal from the original book. This was written as a kind of review of the book and as a reminder that this book can truly serve as a life guide on how to be influential. The book spells out some common sense techniques, yet many people fail to implement them, even after they have read the book. This is why Dale Carnegie himself, suggested using the book as a reference after the first read. It’s important to reinforce the techniques described from time-to-time.
Great Rapport
If you haven’t read the book (and you should), Carnegie describes techniques that make people want to be with you.
In the end, it's about building GREAT RAPPORT with others. Below are are a few simple techniques to establish rapport with those who cross your path.
One is the simple technique of using somebody’s name. This requires that you remember the name when a person is first introduced to you. But once you know the name, be sure to use it whenever you come in contact with that person. People value their names more than you could possibly imagine. The next time someone says your name when speaking to you, pay attention to how that makes you feel. It is likely to make you feel a connection with that person on a level that you probably took for granted in the past.
Another technique that Carnegie describes is to pay attention to other peoples’ likes and wants. If you know somebody that is into elephants, for example, when you come across items related to elephants, make that person aware of it. Carnegie goes into much greater depth about this, but you get the general idea. Take a genuine interest in others and you will find them drawing towards you more and more.
The techniques described in the book really are common sense, but they work. There are several other techniques that are described which can really give you those influencing abilities you want to acquire. What’s great about his techniques is they are not difficult to incorporate into your life and yet they have a tremendous impact in how you are looked upon by others. It is almost magical at how well it works.
It should be noted that Carnegie wrote the book to help salespeople sell better. The book was actually a byproduct of a course he developed with the same motivation. You do not need to be a salesperson to take advantage of the techniques contained in this book.
In the end, it's about building GREAT RAPPORT with others. Below are are a few simple techniques to establish rapport with those who cross your path.
One is the simple technique of using somebody’s name. This requires that you remember the name when a person is first introduced to you. But once you know the name, be sure to use it whenever you come in contact with that person. People value their names more than you could possibly imagine. The next time someone says your name when speaking to you, pay attention to how that makes you feel. It is likely to make you feel a connection with that person on a level that you probably took for granted in the past.
Another technique that Carnegie describes is to pay attention to other peoples’ likes and wants. If you know somebody that is into elephants, for example, when you come across items related to elephants, make that person aware of it. Carnegie goes into much greater depth about this, but you get the general idea. Take a genuine interest in others and you will find them drawing towards you more and more.
The techniques described in the book really are common sense, but they work. There are several other techniques that are described which can really give you those influencing abilities you want to acquire. What’s great about his techniques is they are not difficult to incorporate into your life and yet they have a tremendous impact in how you are looked upon by others. It is almost magical at how well it works.
It should be noted that Carnegie wrote the book to help salespeople sell better. The book was actually a byproduct of a course he developed with the same motivation. You do not need to be a salesperson to take advantage of the techniques contained in this book.
Confidence Leads to Influence
Becoming confident is a big step in being more influential. When you exude confidence, that will show through to others. They will have no choice but to see you as someone that has a handle on situations.
The good news is confidence is not something you are born with. Sure, some people naturally are confident and it is easier for them to be that way. Confidence is something that can be learned. It may take rethinking some of your beliefs but it is possible.
The first step towards being confident is to learn as much as you can about the situations you are in. Knowledge is power. If you have the necessary knowledge, you will be in a position to answer questions that arise. This makes you authoritative in the minds of those that are not as well versed. Few can argue with you when you have that authority.
Next up is to define what you want to accomplish. Know what the desired end result should be and work back from that. Many people try to wing it and go with the flow, thinking that the results will come to them naturally. While that can work once in a while, usually, it’s more effective when you know what you want right from the start.
After you determine what you want to accomplish, you can map out a plan in the form of goals and milestones. By breaking down the process into smaller tasks, it becomes more manageable. This will easily add to your confidence levels because those smaller tasks will be easier to complete. It’s also a great feeling each time one of those milestones are met.
Nothing is set in stone and there is room for change when you make up your plan. Part of confidence is knowing when something isn’t working and to have the courage to adjust. By doing this quickly, you will not lose face. In fact, when you make the decision to change you will show that you maintain the confidence needed. No one can be right 100% of the time. The key is to try not to be wishy-washy when altering your path. Be firm on why you are changing and make the decision quickly.
Taking the steps to becoming more confident is entirely plausible. Confidence will naturally lead to becoming more influential. It takes commitment and time. But the rewards are simply too great to ignore.
The good news is confidence is not something you are born with. Sure, some people naturally are confident and it is easier for them to be that way. Confidence is something that can be learned. It may take rethinking some of your beliefs but it is possible.
The first step towards being confident is to learn as much as you can about the situations you are in. Knowledge is power. If you have the necessary knowledge, you will be in a position to answer questions that arise. This makes you authoritative in the minds of those that are not as well versed. Few can argue with you when you have that authority.
Next up is to define what you want to accomplish. Know what the desired end result should be and work back from that. Many people try to wing it and go with the flow, thinking that the results will come to them naturally. While that can work once in a while, usually, it’s more effective when you know what you want right from the start.
After you determine what you want to accomplish, you can map out a plan in the form of goals and milestones. By breaking down the process into smaller tasks, it becomes more manageable. This will easily add to your confidence levels because those smaller tasks will be easier to complete. It’s also a great feeling each time one of those milestones are met.
Nothing is set in stone and there is room for change when you make up your plan. Part of confidence is knowing when something isn’t working and to have the courage to adjust. By doing this quickly, you will not lose face. In fact, when you make the decision to change you will show that you maintain the confidence needed. No one can be right 100% of the time. The key is to try not to be wishy-washy when altering your path. Be firm on why you are changing and make the decision quickly.
Taking the steps to becoming more confident is entirely plausible. Confidence will naturally lead to becoming more influential. It takes commitment and time. But the rewards are simply too great to ignore.
Useful Resources for Becoming Influential
There are several resources that can help you become influential. Use them as a guide to learn and as resources to keep your influence intact.
Google.com
Although obvious, you should always start your search using this ubiquitous search engine. One trick that many overlook is to search beyond the first page of the results. You can often find some gems as these webmasters are trying to fight their way to the top of the search engine results. These gems are often resources that are less about selling and more about offering great value.
Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
This book needs to be singled out as it is essentially the bible on the subject. This belongs in everyone’s library and needs to be read multiple times to reinforce the lessons. It is available as a Kindle book and if you are a member of Kindle Unlimited, you can get a version of it as part of that subscription. There are even several summarized versions of the book for those that don’t want to take the time to read the entire book. The book is really easy to read, though.
Udemy.com
Udemy has several courses related to influence, charisma, etc. Some of them may seem expensive but Udemy runs sales on its courses often. You can also search online for “Udemy Coupon Codes” as instructors like to use these to lure learners to their courses.
Amazon.com
Amazon has several books on how to influence. What’s great about Amazon is you can usually tell which books are good by reading the reviews and choosing the higher rated ones. Another great way to use Amazon is to scan through the table of contents of the bestselling books in that category and then searching on those topics to see what you can find.
YouTube.com
It’s amazing how many people overlook YouTube when they are trying to learn something. YouTube has videos on just about any subject. You will have to do some digging and weed through the videos that disguise themselves as courses but are really just sales pitches for a product. But there are definitely some great videos that can help when learning how to become influential. Another advantage is YouTube is free for most videos. One tip when evaluating videos: read through the comments and stay away from videos that have high thumbs down rankings.
Google.com
Although obvious, you should always start your search using this ubiquitous search engine. One trick that many overlook is to search beyond the first page of the results. You can often find some gems as these webmasters are trying to fight their way to the top of the search engine results. These gems are often resources that are less about selling and more about offering great value.
Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
This book needs to be singled out as it is essentially the bible on the subject. This belongs in everyone’s library and needs to be read multiple times to reinforce the lessons. It is available as a Kindle book and if you are a member of Kindle Unlimited, you can get a version of it as part of that subscription. There are even several summarized versions of the book for those that don’t want to take the time to read the entire book. The book is really easy to read, though.
Udemy.com
Udemy has several courses related to influence, charisma, etc. Some of them may seem expensive but Udemy runs sales on its courses often. You can also search online for “Udemy Coupon Codes” as instructors like to use these to lure learners to their courses.
Amazon.com
Amazon has several books on how to influence. What’s great about Amazon is you can usually tell which books are good by reading the reviews and choosing the higher rated ones. Another great way to use Amazon is to scan through the table of contents of the bestselling books in that category and then searching on those topics to see what you can find.
YouTube.com
It’s amazing how many people overlook YouTube when they are trying to learn something. YouTube has videos on just about any subject. You will have to do some digging and weed through the videos that disguise themselves as courses but are really just sales pitches for a product. But there are definitely some great videos that can help when learning how to become influential. Another advantage is YouTube is free for most videos. One tip when evaluating videos: read through the comments and stay away from videos that have high thumbs down rankings.
Source: https://www.market-connections.net/blog/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people
About the Author
Mandy Fard is a Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW, CMRW) and Recruiter with decades of experience in assisting job seekers, working directly with employers in multiple industries, and writing proven-effective resumes.
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