Main cast: Ed Marinaro (Martin Lander), Teri Ann Linn (Linda), David Spielberg (Tom Reardon), and Tina Louise (The Voice)
Director: Ernest Farino

Talk Nice to Me is a nonsensical episode that works because a young Ed Marinaro is so easy on the eyes. Whether he’s showing off his chest or walking around in briefs, he makes the show so much more bearable to watch than it should be.

Yes, I know, I’m easy, but hey, only for those that are worthy.

Ladies man and first class asshole Martin Lander is a popular columnist—what else would he be?—that keeps his girlfriend Linda hanging on while he takes her for granted and cheats on her constantly. However, his happy life is rudely interrupted by phone calls from a mysterious woman with the most hideous laugh ever. Even after changing to a new unlisted number, this woman still plagues him, mocking his lifestyle and seeming to know every detail about his life.

Martin is confident that she must be some fat, lonely woman that has gone deranged because she knows that he will never pay her any attention, but soon he is the one going deranged as those calls keep coming and making him increasingly paranoid about being spied upon. Who is this caller and, more importantly, how can he be rid of her?

Mr Marinaro plays the attractive asshole very well. Sure, I won’t want to marry him, but I won’t kick him out of bed, just saying, because his over the top abrasive swagger is a hoot and hard to take seriously.

The revelation of the voice toward the end is ridiculous, but makes perfect sense in a way. Plus, I suspect that there would people at certain corners of the Internet that would enthusiastically ship Martin with his stalker and even draw gruesome art about them.

All in all, this one won’t be the best episode of the season, but it’s entertaining and absurd enough to make the cut.

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