I really enjoy this screenplay by Jordan Trepte, one of this blog's contributors. I think you will too!
Enjoy.
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Love is Dead
by
Jordan Trepte
© COPYRIGHT 2017
INT. LIVING ROOM, APARTMENT - NIGHT
COUNT Maria ROMAN (130's) pours the essence of human life
from a wine bottle into two glasses on the coffee table. Her
DARK, BOLD appearance is bathed in the red light of the room.
She falls back into the sofa with a full red glass.
COUNT Theodore WILCOX (120's) plays a game on his phone on
the opposite couch. His BRIGHT, COLORFUL clothes stand out
against the decor. He is focused on the game.
An old black and white FRAMED PORTRAIT of Maria's family
hangs on the wall. Rows of Count couples stand facing the
camera. Maria is the youngest in the bottom corner. She's the
only one without a partner. An engraving reads:
"ROMAN FAMILY REUNION 1917"
Maria brings the full glass to her nose. She clears her throat.
Theodore stays zeroed in on his game.
MARIA
Smells like Korean.
THEODORE
Yup. Got him outside that bar on
6th.
MARIA
Got a nice "oaky" texture to him,
little opulent, not too acidic.
THEODORE
It's all the same.
Maria raises her glass.
MARIA
Well Theodore.
He looks up from his phone.
MARIA
Here's to a century together.
THEODORE
Is it? I'm sorry, I-
THEODORE
We don't really do anniversaries, I
know. I just wanted to toast.
CLINK.
Maria gulps hers down.
Theodore sips his and puts the glass down.
MARIA
To a hundred more.
He returns to the phone. She returns to the music.
INT. APARTMENT - LATER - MONTAGE
- They pour blood filled pitchers from the fridge into wine
bottles. The bottles have labels of race, gender, and age.
Some of them are "???".
- Theodore waterfalls a pitcher of blood straight into his
mouth. Maria laughs.
- They laugh and dance and drink out of their glasses.
- They get undressed and...
- They brush their pointy teeth together in their pajamas.
Her P.J.'s are dark and grey. His are light and colorful.
INT. APARTMENT - NEXT NIGHT
Alone in the living room, Maria slips her earrings in. She
grabs her purse.
MARIA
Theo?
Theo enters wearing a very colorful outfit.
MARIA
Going with the whole blend in by
not blending tactic for the
evening?
THEODORE
Your sister will just have to deal
with it.
MARIA
Well so do I.
THEODORE
What's that suppose to mean?
MARIA
Nothing, you just dress so
alternative recently. I guess it
makes it easier to seduce the young
folk.
THEODORE
You know I've always had more fun
during the liberal decades.
MARIA
You have your fun Theo.
She kisses him. They grab the keys and leave.
INT. APARTMENT - LATER
Maria and Theo stumble in the apartment from the front door.
A feint blue early morning light grows in the room.
Maria walks into another room and Theo takes his shoes off.
He gets up and stands in front of the dreary old family
portrait, scrutinizing.
Maria comes up and looks at the picture with him, she brushes
her teeth.
THEODORE
Notice how your sister was only
talking to you when she mentioned
the coming re-union?
MARIA
Lucky you, I don't even want to go.
THEODORE
Why don't you invite me this time?
I could come with you, if you think
it would help.
She walks away brushing her teeth still.
MARIA (O.S.)
Please let me spare you from
meeting my family.
THEODORE
But I've always wanted to meet the
Romans.
He looks at the old picture of all the dark and dreary
traditional vampire couples, and Maria all by herself.
He leaves the living room.
WE FOLLOW THE SOUND OF THEIR FOOTSTEPS AND VOICES TO THE
BEDROOM.
We hear them get undressed.
THEODORE (O.S.)
Why can't I come with you this
time?
MARIA (O.S.)
It's too soon.
The sound of a hinges creaking open.
THEODORE
What side do you want?
The sound of them laying down, the creaking hinges and a lid
slams shut.
THEODORE (O.S.)
It's been what, 10 re-unions now?
The first five I understand, but-
MARIA (O.S.)
Look if you want to come I need to
prepare them first, and you, us.
Let's do it next year.
THEODORE (O.S.)
You say that every time! Look, I
get it: Your family is super
conservative. I don't even care
that half of them voted for Trump.
Are you, is my style, are you
embarrassed of me?! Because that's
what it feels like.
The hinges creak. We hear shuffling and movement.
THEODORE (O.S.)
What are you doing?
The hinges creak, the lid slams shut.
THEODORE (O.S.)
(shouting)
Classic, Maria! Running away from
my unpleasant feelings! Don't want
to deal with those, do you?
Maria drags her blankets and pillows into the living room
with her. She plops onto the couch.
THEODORE
(to himself)
Whatever, more room for me.
INT. APARTMENT - NEXT NIGHT, BEFORE DAWN
In the living room alone, in her dark and striking regalia,
Maria sips her wine.
Two empty wine bottles are on the coffee table. A third
unfinished.
She looks at the phone in her hand. She scrolls through an
online shopping site, looking at FORMAL MEN'S CLOTHING.
A key turns in the front door, it opens. Theodore comes in,
his colorful clothes are covered in blood. He carries one
full pitcher.
MARIA
Look at you. And you got one?
THEODORE
I don't want to talk about it.
He sets the pitcher down on the table.
THEODORE
Well it's enough if it's just going
to be me here the next couple
weeks.
Maria puts her phone down. Not the wine glass.
MARIA
God you're so dramatic, just get
over it. I'm not going to stay the
whole time. I don't even want to
go.
She drinks.
THEODORE
Yes you do, are you kidding me? You
always have fun with your family.
They're so cool! What's your deal?
She gets up.
MARIA
Fuck Theo, they're a fucking
millennia old transcendent Empire!
You can't just, just sign up like
it's some fucking gym membership!
THEODORE
Are you drunk?
MARIA
You would be too if you ever spent
any time with me!
THEODORE
What's that suppose to mean?!
MARIA
You're always either on your phone
when you're here or your out
seducing the human-folk till like
Dawn every time. It doesn't take
all night, Theo! We're not new at
this anymore!
THEODORE
When was the last time you got us
dinner? Huh?! And, and second, why
don't you just tell me to get off
my phone!? Jesus.
Maria storms off.
MARIA (O.S)
(shouting)
I don't want to have to tell you!
THEODORE
You don't even want me to be
around! You're too embarrassed to
introduce me to your family! After
a hundred years!
Theodore sighs and falls onto the couch. A blood-soaked patch
of his colorful clothes stains fabric.
THEODORE
Damn it!
He tears off his clothes and throws them on the coffee table.
He takes a swig from the half full wine bottle.
Maria's phone buzzes on the table. He picks it up and scrolls
through the shopping site.
He looks at his clothes.
INT. APARTMENT - NEXT DUSK
Maria stumbles into the dusk-lit living room with mangled
hair and sunglasses on.
She walks to the bar stool and pours a wine bottle into a
glass - but nothing pours, it's empty.
She takes it to the trash and throws it in. But she notices:
Theodore's colorful clothes, covered in blood. She takes them
out.
MARIA
God, I could have just washed them.
She returns to the living room.
A key turns the front lock, the door opens.
Theodore walks in.
THEODORE
Oh hey, how's this?
He wears an elegant black suit and tie, with polished shoes
and slicked back hair. In his hands, a rose.
MARIA
Oh my God, but the light?!
THEODORE
I'm fine, I covered up. It was
worth it, I'm sorry, I saw what you
were looking at and--
She drops his clothes and embraces him.
MARIA
I'm so sorry Theo. I didn't mean to
make you feel judged. My family is
just so...
THEODORE
I know. Your families respect means
a lot to you, I understand. You
mean a lot to me. I don't mind
putting on a costume.
MARIA
It's just, once I invite you
it's... it's not something you run
away from. Aren't you afraid of
forever? I am. What if I'm not
enough for you?
THEODORE
I haven't been doing the best job
recently of, of showing you how
much you mean to me. I'm sorry.
From the moment we met, I loved
you, and we knew this was a forever
together kind of thing.
She slaps his chest and steps back and laughs and tears up
all at the same time.
MARIA
Bullshit. It started off good,
sure, but we've made it better.
THEODORE
Yeah, you're right. It's only
gotten better.
She takes the rose and cuddles him.
MARIA
If I've learned anything from those
old dead fuckers it's that, our
kind of love isn't found, it's
made. We make it together.
INT. APARTMENT - LATER
Suitcases are in the living room.
Theodore sits on the couch, taps his foot, and looks at his
phone. He wears the black suit.
Maria gets ready in the bedroom.
He shouts:
THEODORE
Are you ready? Your sister is going
to be here soon.
MARIA (O.S)
Yeah one second! Are you ready?
THEODORE
Yeah!
(to himself)
Not having second doubts or
anything.
He taps his foot.
Maria comes out.
MARIA
What did you say?
She's holds out her hands, holding a colorful and stylish
tie.
THEODORE
No way.
Theodore stands up and takes off his black tie. She ties her
gift around his neck.
THEODORE
How do I look?
MARIA
Do you want a mirror?
They laugh.
MARIA
Like the Human I fell in love with.
THEY KISS.
The end.
CREDITS
Maria and Theo put up a digital, colored 2017 family portrait
of the Roman vampire family.
In the rows of Count couples in the bottom corner, there's
not a single one.