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Blog Directory  >  Life Blogs  >  My Life Blogs  >  Finding the Light in the Darkness | The story of a my-life Blog  > 

2021-11-09 03:17
My brain isn’t going to blow up. There isn’t an aneurysm. Whatever there was on imaging looked like a possible aneurysm, but wasn’t. It’s a normal variation. Somethin… Read More
2021-11-05 01:30
So about a month ago, I saw a headache specialist because of recent uptick in migraines. It had actually been going on since the spring, but every time I thought about seeing someone, the he… Read More
2021-10-05 01:25
I wrote in my previous post about bench pressing with the funny looking swiss bar. When I was at my brother’s on Saturday, I did 3 sets of 5 with 50 pounds. That’s the bar plus 2… Read More
2021-09-25 05:15
Most of you probably don’t know much about my more normal growing up activities. I took dance classes at a local studio from age 3-18, and then came back after I graduated from high sc… Read More
2021-09-04 14:20
It’s been a few months since I shot this video. I can actually do three sets of five with just the bar (45 pounds). If I increase the weight to 50 pounds, I can usually get in one set… Read More
2021-09-04 01:42
I love doing art with the babies at work. And I like to think they have a fine old time doing it too. I really wish I could post pictures of them, but unfortunately, I can’t. Last week… Read More
2021-09-04 01:37
A stray neighborhood cat has adopted my brother. He’s such a sweetie pie. I’m a proud auntie. Billy decided to call him Shadow because he sort of crept out of the shadows and slo… Read More
2021-08-14 01:13
As some of you may know, my initial plan for my adult life was to become a pediatrician. For various reasons, I changed my mind. I decided to go to graduate school to pursue my doctorate in… Read More
2021-08-13 01:25
We had, up until this evening, a tree on our tree lawn. A line of severe thunderstorms flew through the greater Cleveland area earlier. When the alert came through my phone, it said winds up… Read More
2021-07-04 15:18
Yesterday, I was supposed to do the 5K at the Parma Pierogi Run/Walk. Unfortunately, I hurt my knee a few weeks ago. Actually I think it might just be an arthritis flare. About 10 years ago… Read More
5K Training
2021-04-24 23:04
I signed up for a 5K on July 3rd. It’s been a few weeks since I last went out for a walk/run. Things have been super busy at work and I’ve been working late on Tuesdays and Thurs… Read More
2021-04-11 16:20
I love you can finally see the weight on the bar. 75 pounds (actually 78 because the bar weighs 58) Read More
2021-02-21 05:42
I think this is the first time I’m going to post a picture of myself…. actually a video. This is VERY HARD for me. I probably should post a before picture first. This wasn&rsquo&hell…Read More
2021-02-14 19:45
I was browsing metafilter last night and there was a post in fanfare about the movie, “Ordinary People“. That’s a movie that Dr. D (in Austin) asked me to watch. That was r… Read More
2021-02-02 03:30
First day back after a long break. My anxiety level was climbing all weekend. It was so bad last night, I ended up taking a Klonopin. I even needed to take one this morning. My anxiety is us… Read More
2021-01-29 20:22
It’s been many years since I’ve written here. I decided earlier this week to get back into writing on this blog specifically. So what has been going on the last 3.5 years? A whol… Read More
2017-06-27 02:24
BTW:  I’m writing these as sort of a record of what’s going on.  It helps me keep track of changes and reactions to meds and therapy.   Today was a fairly normal v… Read More
2017-06-15 23:41
I’ve tried to write this out many times in the past.  In fact this is the seventh time the post was titled “Pink Pajamas”.  Today is Therapy Thursday and the topi… Read More
2017-06-14 23:42
I met with Dr. W today.  A ton of stuff is going on with my cancer treatment and its intersection with my psychiatric treatment.  I had two options.  One was going off the Wel… Read More
2017-06-07 02:33
You know things are bad when the doctor tells the scheduler that you are a priority for scheduling.  My chin almost hit the floor.  I mean, things aren’t good.  And ther… Read More
2017-06-05 00:52
This was the prompt for today.  Sometimes I feel so far apart from other people.  I see it in therapy.  It is issues of trust still.  I’ve worked hard to build trus… Read More
2017-06-03 02:14
I love ER.  I have since the first day it aired.  Now I found in syndication and it cheers me up; at least for an hour it does. Tonight was not one of those nights.  The plot… Read More
2017-05-20 20:45
Holy shit. I’ve finally pulled myself together after a good 10 minute panic attack. Dad loved to fondle me in the shower.  He did call them “our showers”.  Ugh. D… Read More
2017-05-19 23:52
So I saw Dr. D yesterday.  It was tough, complete with a panic attack.  She encouraged me to call Dr. W.  Since I seen her earlier this week, I didn’t think it was a goo… Read More
2017-05-17 18:44
So today’s prompt is “Precipice”.  How fitting.  I seem to be teetering on one myself.  Even with the med changes (and un-changes), I’m still really st… Read More
2017-05-11 20:48
I tend to put up walls between myself and others.  That’s definitely no secret.  It’s how I survived the years of endless abuse.  Don’t let people inside, do… Read More
2016-05-07 02:08
First let me say I was not physically abandoned by my family.  This is true despite it being threatened with being taken to an orphanage and left there.  But developmentally, psych… Read More
2016-05-03 17:08
Child abuse leaves scars.  Both seen and unseen.  Both large and small.  Both chronic and acute.  Yet they are all scars. I think that everyone carries some scars. … Read More
2016-04-27 17:30
I live my life behind a mask. My mask is happy.  My mask is confident.  I’m good at wearing this.  Despite how I feel inside, I don’t reveal my honest feelings and… Read More
2016-04-24 16:08
It feels like I could never go a week without getting punished for something.  Those rare times when I brought a bad grade home (spelling assignments, I’m looking at you), it seem… Read More
2016-03-08 19:21
I spent a lot of my childhood hiding, both mentally and physically.  I clearly remember hiding, although I don’t remember a lot about other things. I used to try hiding from my mo… Read More
2016-02-28 03:15
I’ve been having bizarre dreams lately.  Last night’s dream has been 0n my mind all day. It took place in my house at the present day.  A drifter comes by and settles d… Read More
2016-02-23 00:51
I have two views about children.  What I think about me as a child, and what I think about all the other children in the world. When I think of me as a child (looking back on the past)… Read More
2016-02-16 23:46
One of my biggest challenges has been taking showers.  There were countless times where my father fondled me while washing my hair.  I came to hate showers and associated them with… Read More
2016-02-14 01:25
I’m having a hard time organizing my thoughts lately.  More so than ever, my thoughts are scattered and racing.  I have all these memories just swirling around.  And I j… Read More
2016-02-06 01:39
My earliest memories date back to living in the city of L.  I can so clearly see the red carpet in my room and the flowered wallpaper.  The color of the carpet places my age at abo… Read More
2014-10-11 23:44
I’m back home from the hospital again.  I was supposed to come home on Monday.  For the first time ever, I was completely honest and told the doctor that I didn’t think… Read More
2014-09-30 00:55
It’s definitely not an easy drug to live with.  I’m tired all the time.  I’m lucky if I make it 20 minutes on my walk because I just want to climb back in bed.&nb&hell…Read More
2014-09-23 22:50
This is what life feels like right now. I talked to Dr. W yesterday.  The voices are pretty bad right now.  She tried to increase the Haldol once before and that led to such horrib… Read More
2014-09-17 23:08
I went to the dentist today because I’ve been having jaw pain.  It’s most likely TMJ from clenching my jaw and grinding my teeth.  Yay.  Just add it to the list of… Read More
2014-09-16 23:37
I feel empty in side.  I can’t say I even feel depressed anymore because that would involve, well, feeling.  I feel nothing now.  I want to bury my head in the sand, hop… Read More
2014-09-11 23:38
Thankfully today was a light day.  I needed that.  Even though it was fairly light, I think it gave Dr. D a good deal of information about my late teens and early 20s.  There… Read More
2014-09-09 01:36
I wish I knew what to say about today.  We touched on a lot, including some anger I’ve been feeling lately.  I’m not comfortable with anger.  It scares me.  I… Read More
2014-09-05 20:59
hugged your inner child today? SourceFiled under: Inner Child, Kitten, Randomness Read More
2014-09-02 15:15
I saw my therapist last week.  I had been in so much pain, I was afraid to drive.  So, unfortunately, I had to ask my dad to drive me. Instead of staying in the car or running erra… Read More
2014-07-17 02:02
I had a horrible dream this morning.  I was dreaming that I had had a baby.  It was the most independent and easy going baby.  She basically came out of the womb self sufficie… Read More
2014-07-16 09:18
Sleep is not coming tonight.  I slept for about 45 minutes and woke up out of a nightmare.  I have extra Trazodone I could use.  But honestly, I don’t really want to sle… Read More
2014-07-16 00:09
After working on it for like a month, I’ve finally called a psychologist.  I tried doing the Psychology Today route.  Too confusing since my insurance is administered by X co… Read More
2014-05-31 19:04
I’m learning to live with the side effects of the Cymbalta.  Yogurt is my new best friend.  It’s easy on my tummy and I found a flavor I like (Yoplait’s Whips in… Read More
2014-05-29 13:12
I swear I can’t win.  I started on the Cymbalta almost a week ago.  The good news, it is starting to help with the pain.  The bad news, it killed my appetite.  I&rs&hell…Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
I think weather changes are the worst for me.  Even though I find it difficult to tolerate the cold, this swing upward in temperature along with the rain is, once again, doing a number… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
Or maybe just some of it.  OK, probably none of it. My brain is utterly fried.  I don’t know what to blame it on…  constant stress, depression, anxiety, fibro.&nb&hell…Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog. Here’s an excerpt: A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 7,500… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
A lot has changed in 7 years.  I’m a marginally happier person, thanks to years of being away from my crazy family.  My health has taken a huge hit.  Fibromyalgia sucks… Read More

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