2024-04-18 18:59
There is more than one way to execute a rodentine maritime evacuation manoeuvre. One can charge crudely for the lifeboats, elbowing aside the women and children while trumpeting one's devoti… Read More
Blog Directory > Life Blogs > My Life Blogs > The Curmudgeon my-life Blog >
2024-04-17 18:38
While Britain's unelected peers continue to obstruct the Rwanda transportation bill with their insistence on, of all things, conformity with the law, the nation's partner in wog disposal see… Read More
2024-04-16 19:12
Much to the annoyance of the global south, and apparently somewhat to the surprise of Britain's leading liberal newspaper, the global north has provided little support for the mitigation of… Read More
2024-04-15 18:21
Since the Christian state of Georgia ranks forty-third out of the fifty in looking after the health of actual children, the fact of its offering tax breaks for uterine-resident Murcans shoul… Read More
2024-04-14 14:18
As with the US assassination of General Qasem Soleimani four years ago, the mad mullahs of Tehran have exercised a truly evil degree of restraint in their retaliation for the Righteous State… Read More
2024-04-13 12:53
Team Starmer, whose main objection to far-right policies seems to be their lack of fiscal prudence, has come over all moralistic about a far-right politician attending a gathering of far-rig… Read More
2024-04-12 16:05
It appears that there are more Conservatives in Scotland than previously thought, although it took a molecular fungal ecologist to discover the latest one. Its allegiance is evident from its… Read More
2024-04-11 21:12
Is there no end to the depravity of the metropolitan middle-class lefty antisemites? Despite Team Starmer having spent several years making clear exactly whose votes it prefers to receive an… Read More
2024-04-10 18:34
If the social and moral purity of the British race is to be properly maintained, then self-evidently stopping the small boats is only a partial solution. It is all very well to prevent migra… Read More
2024-04-09 19:17
With all the camels to be swallowed these days, it is only natural that a few minions of the Most High should be straining at a TV commercial designed to sell potato crisps. The Italian adve… Read More
2024-04-08 18:22
We are all aware that there are few British values more important than Wogs Out; but competing priorities do occasionally emerge. One such was recently impressed upon a shipment of seventy-t… Read More
2024-04-07 14:06
Britain's glistening pink Secretary of State for Wogs, Frogs, Huns and Hottentots has warned of the possibility of famine in Gaza now that the wrong colour people are being killed. Hence the… Read More
2024-04-06 19:53
Contrary to all expectation, Christian churches are not averse to getting buttocks onto hassocks, even at the price of hiring out their organs to accompany metal bands. A senior lecturer in… Read More
2024-04-05 16:09
A school shooting in Finland has pointed up the moral inadequacies of the Scandinavian system, even beyond the single-figure casualties and single-unit death toll. As a juvenile, the perpetr… Read More
2024-04-03 18:55
With the prospects of a seat on the ministerial gravy train growing ever more distant, a few Conservatives have been moved to question the Government's continuing arms sales to the Righteous… Read More
2024-04-02 19:25
Those of a pious disposition may recall the jabbering homunculus Michael Gove commemorating the anniversary of the King James Bible by inflicting autographed copies on schoolchildren. No mas… Read More
2024-04-01 15:27
Politics is the art of the trade-off, and certain policies come with counter-intuitive prices. Who would have thought, for example, that flouncing out of a bloc that was the country's bigges… Read More
2024-03-31 16:12
Comments by a US Republican politician and sometime pastor to the effect that the people of Gaza should be treated as a surrendering power have elicited predictable levels of shock and awe f… Read More
2024-03-30 18:29
Reclamation - turning a slur into a badge of pride - can be a liberating and enlightening process, and has been managed successfully in cases ranging from Proudhon's declaration that he was… Read More
2024-03-29 16:39
Rodentine maritime evacuation manoeuvres are set to lose our Mother of Parliaments some nine hundred and eighty-seven years' experience of blathering, braying and claiming expenses. Fortunat… Read More
2024-03-28 16:10
Unelected bureaucrats have conspired to sabotage the mayoral aspirations of Laurence Fox, the Dear Leader of the other far-right party whose name starts with Re- and ought to end in an excla… Read More
2024-03-27 22:33
Faceless bureaucrats at Cambridge city council have ordered the removal of a sculpture representing the late Duke of Edinburgh as an academic incarnation of the Terrible Trivium. The bronze… Read More
2024-03-26 15:26
Expenses claimants including the ever-brilliant Iain Duncan Smith and the former Minister for Richard Desmond are fearful for the state of British democracy. While the Conservatives have sta… Read More
2024-03-25 15:20
Astoundingly enough, the absorption of the Ministry for Wogs, Beads and Trinkets into the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs, Huns and Hottentots has been of negative benefit to the global poor; and t… Read More
2024-03-24 18:36
Despite being the country that re-elected the Bullingdon Club's glistening pink Head Boy and voted the National Johnson an eighty-seat majority; despite being the country that reads the Murd… Read More
2024-03-23 19:25
Evidently invigorated by having buzzed the fiend Putin and got away with it, at least one incarnation of Grant Shapps has been practising for an election-saving war against the Heathen Chine… Read More
2024-03-22 15:58
Artistic merit is a fragile thing
That stands or falls by price of purchasing;
The cognoscenti therefore tend to rate
Their treasures by the work's completion date.
With trendy youth, good t… Read More
2024-03-21 15:37
Meteorites are immovable property and belong to those on whose land they happen to fall, according to a judgement by the Swedish appeals court. A thirty-pound iron meteorite which fell in 20… Read More
2024-03-20 18:24
If further evidence were needed that the brief blip of European cultural dominance is ending, and that the centre of civilisation is moving back to its accustomed Asian home, such evidence m… Read More
2024-03-19 17:02
In its capacity as the mass communications wing of Conservative Central Office, the BBC has grovelled to Reform UK after referring to it as a far-right party and eliciting squeals of lawyerl… Read More
2024-03-18 16:13
Non-governmental and hence necessarily unelected organisations have criticised the Libyan coastguard over its efforts to save British jobs for British workers. Médecins Sans Fronti&eg&hell…Read More
2024-03-16 16:32
Greatly to the astonishment of almost nobody at all, an empty slogan has proven to be little more than an empty slogan. "Levelling up" was a guiding principle of the National Johnson r&eacut&hell…Read More
2024-03-15 17:55
Last year, in one of its more understated cultural assaults, His Majesty's Government renamed England's areas of outstanding natural beauty as "national landscapes," in recognition that they… Read More
2024-03-14 19:40
Anonymous sources within His Majesty's Government, which are doubtless as reliable as anyone concerning their well-informed and genuine beliefs, are squealing about the GPS signal on board a… Read More
2024-03-13 20:38
Faced with the possibility that certain dusky foreigns are prepared to pay good money for the Maily Toryguff, His Majesty's Government has had a sudden attack of market interventionism. It's… Read More
2024-03-12 20:07
In yet another paroxysm of toxic un-Britishness, the union for senior civil servants has threatened to use, of all things, the law to determine whether the will of the people and the whims o… Read More
2024-03-10 15:00
Although His Majesty's Government treats the mental health of native shirkers and scroungers with characteristic contempt, it has apparently developed a touching concern for the emotional we… Read More
2024-03-09 17:16
Descendants of the man who allegedly killed England's second Norman king are offering a triptych depicting the Conquest, the king's death and the supposed perpetrator's escape. William II, c… Read More
2024-03-08 17:05
In a touching gesture of faith, the Archbishop of Canterbury has taken to carrying a personal alarm to protect him from his brothers in Christ. As the head of an organisation which began wit… Read More
2024-03-07 21:59
History, even British political history, is full of fine ideas that didn't quite work out in practice. The party of Peel and Disraeli became that of Johnson and Truss; the party of Gladstone… Read More
2024-03-06 20:16
Britain's glistening pink Minister for Wogs, Huns and Hottentots, whose statesmanship contributed so much to putting Britain and Libya where they are today, is to take on the mantle of Head… Read More
2024-03-05 20:40
Of course it is always a pleasure when Team Starmer makes a new promise, especially when its source is Michael Gove. The shadow farming minister has proclaimed that a Labour government would… Read More
2024-03-03 15:14
How blest are we who starve and thirst
For righteousness, and now are filled
By bombs that profitably burst
Until the terrorists are stilled.
Though lacking appetite to stop
The butchery, o… Read More
2024-03-02 19:32
Despite the benefits of the Japanese Marmite trade and the incalculable advantages of exchanging the beastly Euro-wog market for some whelk stalls in the South Pacific, certain elements of t… Read More
2024-03-01 20:48
Since those with nothing to hide have nothing to fear, the United Kingdom and one of its chums are apparently withholding evidence to an inquiry into the death of Dag Hammarskjöld, the… Read More
2024-02-29 22:29
Theoreticians and practitioners of Oligarchical Collectivism will recall that Eastasia, with which Oceania has always been at war, is protected from annihilation thanks to the fecundity and… Read More
2024-02-28 16:36
Once more the ghastly forces of woke internationalism are seeking to rewrite British history and warp the sacred course of market forces. The government of Ethiopia, wilfully oblivious of th… Read More
2024-02-28 00:07
A bill awarding civil rights to Florida foetuses has suffered a postponement after the supreme court in the Christian state of Alabama went and muddied the moral waters. The Alabama court ru… Read More
2024-02-26 00:01
Jonathan Glazer 2023
Like Jonathan Glazer's previous works - the mediocre Sexy Beast (2000), the intriguing Birth (2004), and the occasionally striking but largely risible Under the Skin (2… Read More
2024-02-25 18:01
Proper Conservatives, in the estimation of the brilliant Robert Buckland, stand for "bringing the country together and seeking to unify, challenging criminality and hate and extremism absolu… Read More
2024-02-24 17:42
Manufacturers of plant-based substitutes for dairy products may soon be ordered to remove from their brand names such consumer-harming factors as "homophones, asterisked characters or other… Read More
2024-02-23 16:11
To mark the second anniversary of Russia's invasion of Ukraine, the World Cop by the grace of God will be imposing further sanctions upon the aggressor, reducing the availability of goods th… Read More
2024-02-22 16:17
Leading, as ever, from behind a substantial chunk of the EU, the master race has finally decided to withdraw from the Energy Charter Treaty, which was set up to protect fossil fuel profiteer… Read More
2024-02-21 18:29
Britain's capacity to assist in global genocide, even with the permission of the World Cop, has been called into question by a second failure of the Trident wog correction system. On the pre… Read More
2024-02-20 17:07
Among the primary motivations of Team Starmer, preserving the unity of the Party ranks nearly as high as factional hatred and pleasing the Rothermere Daily Stürmer; hence the latest rev… Read More
2024-02-19 19:18
Religious sensibles in the Indian state of West Bengal have petitioned to forestall the horrid risk of syncretism among the larger Felidae. A zoo lion named after the Hindu deity Rama was mo… Read More
2024-02-18 14:37
In a cultural move whose impact looks set to rival the Freedom Fries of the Bush chimpanzee administration, the Trumpster and his hydrophobic head-tribble have launched Never Surrender High… Read More
2024-02-16 15:25
Navalny's gone to meet his fate
By process of a gangster state;
And so it might be indiscreet
The name Assange now to repeat.
Samuel Grimsnipe Read More
2024-02-15 21:04
Since His Majesty's Government's recent relaxation of the planning restrictions on windfarms was as grudging, belated and incomplete as a standard expression of regret for any offence caused… Read More
2024-02-14 18:52
It is by no means usual for the Government of the United Kingdom to object to the nation's history being flogged off, or even destroyed altogether. Still, the present age is full of the unpr… Read More
2024-02-13 20:36
With characteristic Bullingdon Club acuity, Britain's glistening pink Minister for Lesser Breeds has been wagging his chubby little finger at Israel's latest plan to breach international law… Read More
2024-02-12 23:02
Certain incautious members of the House of Expenses Claimants are flirting with unelectedness by casting doubt upon the sovereign legitimacy of His Majesty's Government's wog transportation… Read More
2024-02-11 16:21
Now that Sinn Féin are in government at Stormont, Britain's leading liberal newspaper has discovered, to its horror, that civil war is a brutal business in which deaths and disappeara… Read More
2024-02-10 14:16
Will the beastly Euro-wogs never take the hint? The Council of Europe, which has an unelected committee dedicated to preventing enhanced incentivisation of the lesser breeds, last spring sne… Read More
2024-02-09 15:41
Since the latest minuscule concessions to second-order souls don't seem to have turned the trick, the Church of England is striving for yet further relevance by holding disco events in Cante… Read More
2024-02-08 20:54
More than a third of cancer patients in England have failed to amass the family connections necessary to avoid the risk of fatal delays in treatment. Last December 7,661 cancer patients had… Read More
2024-02-07 20:02
Since February is the month when even Conservatives are supposed to make some sort of show at caring about children's mental health, the baby-faced member for Carshalton and Wallington has r… Read More
2024-02-06 18:59
There was once a Cigarette which found itself suddenly and unexpectedly stubbed out upon the intimate portions of a political undesirable. Having spent most of its previous existence in a lu… Read More
2024-02-05 19:54
Even within His Majesty's Government, it seems certain people are still failing to give the Minister for Infantine Profitability Enhancement credit for the fucking good job with which she ha… Read More
2024-02-04 15:37
It appears that Team Starmer may have to re-think its strategy of blaming Sadiq Khan whever it loses a by-election. The Government's supposed policy of refusing to allow low-traffic neighbou… Read More
2024-02-03 15:49
His Majesty's Government has intervened to prevent the export of a medal awarded to Ernest Shackleton, the polar explorer whose name remains almost on a par with that of Robert Falcon Scott… Read More
2024-02-02 16:05
Astoundingly enough, at least one of Fishy Rishi's new licenses to pollute has been awarded to a major Party donor. Even though the chief executive of EnQuest has given the Conservatives cas… Read More
2024-02-01 21:34
In response to a case brought by Palestinian individuals and human rights groups against the elected management of the World Cop, a federal district court in northern California has ruled th… Read More
2024-01-31 18:34
Scandal continues to rock Shakespeare's Globe theatre over the question of whether a stage actor spouting iambic pentameters should be permitted to pretend to be something they're not. A new… Read More
2024-01-30 20:35
For all the honorary status conferred by their royal family, their respect for tradition and their robust attitude to human rights, it is clear that Whitehall's favourite Islamic fundamental… Read More
2024-01-29 20:40
I am sure we all sympathise deeply with George Freeman MP, whose well-fed appearance belies a life of suffering and privation under the cruel mistress that is government. Having been thrust… Read More
2024-01-28 14:45
Levels of Britishness at the Ministry for Wog Disposal remain commendably high, as it now emerges that several Rwandans have been granted refugee status owing to fears of persecution which e… Read More
2024-01-27 15:00
Much like her brother in ineptitude Sir John Major, who began the formal demolition of the hated NHS and then became terribly concerned about the process once other people were being paid to… Read More
2024-01-25 23:04
Even as Britain's unelected prepare to sabotage Fishy Rishi's wog transportation bill, another group of cultural traitors have inflicted hideous injury upon the will of the beastly French. M… Read More
2024-01-24 21:37
Something called Steve is threatening to get tough on moisture provision profiteers, at least to the extent of perhaps no longer permitting them to monitor their own pollution. The former Mi… Read More
2024-01-23 20:45
Current events in Gaza constitute a timely reminder of the hijinks that can ensue when the Deity deals in real estate; but it seems this is by no means the limit of Honest Jehovah's commerci… Read More
2024-01-22 20:35
In accordance with the ongoing Trumpsterisation of our Mother of Democracies, there has been a significant increase in the number of women investigated and prosecuted for undergoing abortion… Read More
2024-01-21 14:56
A cellist, and a coloured one to boot, who played at the wedding of those notorious royal miscegenates the Sussexes, has courted the Windrush treatment by polluting Desert Island Discs with… Read More
2024-01-20 14:39
As so often in its relentless quest for the centre ground, Team Starmer is apparently preparing to pander yet further to the climate-denying far right. Labour's environmental policy has alre… Read More
2024-01-19 15:04
Italy's highest court has ruled that the Fascist salute may legally be performed in public, provided that it does not cause disorder or entail a resurrection of Mussolini's party. Italian la… Read More
2024-01-18 22:41
Even in the slightly less elected house of our Mother of Parliaments; even at an institution whose inmates include, among others, all the beneficiaries of the Johnson and Truss honours lists… Read More
2024-01-16 21:01
Plans, if that is the word I want, to draft in a phalanx of judges for the purpose of facilitating the people's will in the matter of wog disposal by transportation to Central Africa have be… Read More
2024-01-15 20:54
Britain stands ready and willing to engage in further wog-bombing unless Johnny Arab learns to behave himself; and apparently this is news. Fishy Rishi rejected the Houthis' malign imputatio… Read More
2024-01-14 14:47
Enthusiasts for traditional methods of population control will rejoice that an encouraging degree of Britishness in global healthcare has yielded simultaneously a shortage of vaccines for ch… Read More
2024-01-10 19:23
Although George Osborne's British Museum remains the most notorious example of Bullingdon book-keeping at work, it appears that several other treasure-houses of the national heritage have ma… Read More
2024-01-09 19:59
Although Team Starmer cannot promise to repair crumbling schools, let alone pay teachers properly or raise the living standards of excess working people, its spokesbeing for education has pr… Read More
2024-01-08 21:10
Several worthies of the Murca party's batshit wing have caused consternation in the Democratic state of Illinois by failing to sign a "voluntary" loyalty oath. Deriving from the days of Team… Read More
2024-01-07 16:21
Although it stands with Russia and the master race in rejecting the Strasbrussels Diktat of the European Court of Human Rights, Belarus still has some way to go before attaining full moral B… Read More
2024-01-06 23:25
With political exploitation of the Holocaust entering a dynamic new phase in the cleansing actions of the Righteous State, it would doubtless be remiss to allow commercial exploitation to fa… Read More
2024-01-04 15:13
Few tasks are more vital or more fragrant than that of breeding new Britons; hence the sanctity of both Valentine's Day and Mother's Day, especially the latter on account of Motherhood&trade&hell…Read More
2024-01-03 16:03
The recent death of an Albanian immigrant aboard the Home Office's prison hulk continues to inspire ever greater heights of Britishness. The Ministry for Wog Warehousing, which will go to an… Read More
2024-01-02 13:38
Although the government of the Righteous State remains manifestly above international law, it has suffered a setback in its attempt to declare itself above Israeli law as well. By a margin o… Read More
2024-01-01 14:44
Enemies of the World Cop, the Righteous State and the head-chopping House of Saud have been up to some incredibly serious and outrageous doings in the Red Sea. A spokesbeing for His Majesty'… Read More
2023-12-31 15:13
Not even the sacred wellsprings of private education can long remain free from the insidious taint of Heathen Chinee propaganda. The fanatical fiends have extended their treacherous tentacle… Read More
2023-12-29 15:02
Connoisseurs of clear blue water will be gratified to see that Team Starmer's spiritual godfather contemplated wog containment measures barely distinguishable from the present Government's p… Read More
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