2020-08-24 17:20
I’ll never forget the day in 2016 when I had the idea of writing for PsychCentral. It’s a vivid memory because I’d just been eternally banned from their message board! Yep… Read More
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Narcissism Meets Normalcy Blog
blogs.psychcentral.com
A blog about narcissism, narcissists, and how to live with them from Lenora Thompson.
2020-08-16 20:22
No one should ever be notified of the death of their loved one through the impersonal auto-generated daily email from a funeral home. Damn, that’s cold, Baby! But that is how you&rsquo&hell…Read More
2020-08-09 19:26
You always kinda’ expect it. But until your family publicly erases your existence from the family tree, well, you can’t quite anticipate how that will feel and all the subtle mea… Read More
2020-08-07 21:36
Do you ever feel like you just can’t? Like you have a mental block preventing you from diving into a particular task. It’s more than procrastination. More than “don’t… Read More
2020-08-04 19:37
Pulse pounding. Stomach clenching. Adrenaline squirting. Cortisol pulsing. Ears itching. Hot Flashing. Blimey! We must be trapped in a confrontation. It doesn’t matter if we’re i… Read More
2020-07-28 21:09
“To know what you prefer
instead of humbly saying ‘Amen’
to what the world tells you
you ought to prefer
is to have kept your soul alive.”
— Robert Louis Steven… Read More
2020-07-25 21:40
It. Never. Fails. If I find out about something important and life-changing, the kind of thing about which one says, “Why have I never heard about this before!?!”…I will i… Read More
2020-07-20 19:13
On November 22nd, 1963, the world was rocked by the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. His death pushed another death off the headlines. On November 22nd, 1963, a stout, bald retire… Read More
2020-07-19 16:08
Forty is a magical age. Dr. Spock doesn’t list any milestones for this age but I can tell you it’s surprisingly enjoyable and free-ing to crest that hill and begin your leisurely… Read More
2020-07-13 23:19
“Babies don’t come with manuals,” my parents would sometimes moan, half in jest, half seriously. So, like all first-time parents, they parented from the only resource they… Read More
2020-07-01 00:41
Once upon a time, a man was having a pleasant chat with an extraterrestrial. Yeah, yeah, I know. Work with me here, okay!?! If it helps, imagine tea and crumpets being involved.
The point is… Read More
2020-06-28 16:54
What did my spouse ever do
to “deserve” to be the scapegoat?
That, of course, is the wrong question to ask but it’s a very natural question for the wife or husband of… Read More
2020-06-17 21:44
Parents of disabled children all express the same concern, hope, fond wish: “I hope, someday, my child can be independent with a home, a family and a life of their own.”
On the f… Read More
2020-06-10 15:36
“This opera,” said Wagnerian soprana Debra Voigt, “requires the audience to suspend belief.” I’d never really given much thought to the phrase “suspend be… Read More
2020-06-10 15:36
“This opera,” said Wagnerian soprana Debra Voigt, “requires the audience to suspend belief.” I’d never really given much thought to the phrase “suspend be… Read More
2020-06-01 00:48
I wasn’t going to publish this…but what the heck! A lot of my fellow caregivers loved it when I shared it privately on Facebook so let’s go public.
There’s an old a… Read More
2020-05-31 19:56
Madonna was wrong. Coronavirus is not the Great Equalizer. Rather, it is the Great Revealer. Pandemics…and money…bring out people’s true characters.
For some, that meant… Read More
2020-05-28 18:52
Some people, like me, are attracted to those who need a little extra help through life. Some people have the perfect life and in a heartbeat, it all goes terribly wrong. Some people live hea… Read More
2020-05-23 23:47
The readers of Narcissism Meets Normalcy are wonderful about sharing their experiences and viewpoints. There’s been a positive “rash” of great comments lately and I wanted… Read More
2020-05-23 23:40
The readers of Narcissism Meets Normalcy are the best and your comments often leave me thinking, “He summed up in one elegant paragraph what it took me 1,000 words to convey.”
Of… Read More
2020-05-10 17:52
“The voice must be heard.”
“The voice must be heard.”
“The voice must be heard.”
“THE VOICE MUST BE HEARD!”
So began the livestream of the Me… Read More
2020-05-08 17:29
Two weeks ago, a well-meaning friend posted a comment on my Facebook that was so thought provoking, I’ve been quietly cogitating on it ever since. She said:
Lorena, you have had it ver… Read More
2020-05-05 22:29
I’m indebted to Irish fiddler, Frankie Gavin, for inspiring this article. During a Masterclass on YouTube, he made an off-hand comment that when he was learning to play fiddle, he had… Read More
2020-04-27 02:31
We all know someone like this. They’re upset. They’re unhappy. They complain, bellyache and “cry on your shoulder” for an hour, or two, or five…and then go mer… Read More
2020-04-22 18:52
There are certain milestones a woman never forgets. Her first kiss. The day she lost our virginity. Her first menstrual period. The day she became A Woman.
Part 1
Becoming a Woman
I remembe… Read More
2020-04-19 17:41
Not every child of narcissistic parents becomes a narcissist like them. There are a lot of good Adult Children of Narcissists (ACONs) out here. Nice kids of narcissists. ACONs with soft hear… Read More
2020-04-10 22:15
In September 2017, I wrote an article titled The Nice-Nasty-Nice-Nasty Narcissistic Carrot-and-Stick Pattern. It was one of those articles that “writes itself” because I me… Read More
2020-03-31 17:13
If I see one more celebrity sharing bikini selfies from quarantine in their mansion, I’m going to scream. I’m sorry, did I say “bikini”? I meant colorful dental floss… Read More
2020-03-30 18:52
The world is rediscovering what introverts always knew: While your body may be isolated, your mind is always free. Regardless of your situation, your mind may freely roam…and sh… Read More
2020-03-24 16:47
Last Tuesday was the last time I left the house. It’d been a fortnight since I last went grocery shopping, so we needed a little bit of everything. Because of Michael’s pre-exist… Read More
2020-03-16 20:03
We all dream of the day we can stay home all day. Waking naturally at any hour without an alarm clock, padding around in our PJs, doing whatever we want, whenever we want. Bliss!
Usually we… Read More
2020-03-13 23:31
Four hundred and thirty articles later…
If you write about narcissism as much as I do, sooner or later, it takes on a life of its own. The more you sink your teeth into the topic, the… Read More
2020-03-12 20:50
Picture it.
Minnesota. 2001.
My grandfather had died a month or so before it all came crashing down. Grandma called us up one morning. It was my uncle, her beloved Golden Child. He was beyon… Read More
2020-03-06 23:33
Alright, let’s cut the crap. We’re all worried about the coronavirus. Don’t tell Michael because I act nonchalant but I’m concerned too.
So instead of stewing, I deci… Read More
2020-02-28 06:48
In May of 2019, I was notified that one of my engulfing narcissistic relatives had died.
As it turns out, the people who rushed to tell me had jumped to conclusions. There are many relatives… Read More
2020-02-25 01:50
Sometimes I look back at my life, shake my head in wonder and mutter under my breath, “How did I manage to do all of that?”
It certainly wasn’t energy. I had none. You see… Read More
2020-02-20 21:12
For four years, I’ve been blathering on about narcissism, the endless subject that just keeps on a-giving. But I’ve devoted precious few words to normalcy simply because I haven… Read More
2020-02-14 01:06
Home. I write about it a lot. Make that “way too much.” But it’s one of my greatest passions.
It’s my opinion that narcissistic abuse leaves each of us with one or tw… Read More
2020-02-06 22:29
Misogyny: It’s a nasty topic. A yucky subject I’ve tried for four years to write about…but it just wouldn’t gel. But it’s taken me even longer, four decades to… Read More
2020-02-06 03:31
Many years ago at a bluegrass event I had the pleasure of hearing The Eddies sing Bob Dylan’s Forever Young. During the song, a little baby in the audience began to fuss. As one, all t… Read More
2020-01-31 16:59
It hardly ever happens, but even the most Chatty Kathy Writer hits a dry spell now and then. I’m in one of those spells. That’s not to say that I don’t have a dozen article… Read More
2020-01-22 17:30
In this series on the cringeworthy topic of enmeshed, emotionally incestuous parents (EEIPs for short), this will be the most bleeeeh article. So far, we’ve assumed in this series that… Read More
2020-01-21 19:29
“I bet you didn’t have any boundaries,” my friend said the other day.
“Boundaries? What are those?” I responded, sarcastically.
But it’s true. If you are… Read More
2020-01-18 01:26
Like a flash of lightening, it struck me this week that enmeshed emotional (non-physical) incest between a loving parent and their adored child may be the only abuse where the parent can say… Read More
2020-01-13 17:41
There’s a so-obvious-no-one-ever-talks-about-it Rule of Thumb:
If it hurts, it’s probably abuse.
Abuse always hurts.
Pain is how we identify abuse — emotional, physical, se… Read More
2020-01-06 18:12
Sex.
Sex was a huge topic in the bosom of my narcissistic, cult-like family. What’s even stranger is that they rarely ever spoke about sex. They never laughed about it. “Dirty&rd&hell…Read More
2020-01-06 11:00
In her excellent book A Mother’s Touch: Surviving Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse, author Julie Brand gives a wonderful insight into the entitled mentality of narcissists while writing ab… Read More
2020-01-03 01:27
There are certain days that are ingrained in your memory. This was one of those days. A day in which I had two flashes of realization.
Vividly I recall sitting on my bedroom floor, holding m… Read More
2020-01-02 22:17
This article is brought to you by the letters “S,” “C” and “R.” It’s coming to you late because along with Stress comes the inability to Concentrate… Read More
2019-12-26 14:00
In April of 2018, I finally wrote about a topic that had been on my mind for years. The title of the article said it all: Introverts: We’re NOT Just Broken Extroverts. The response was… Read More
2019-12-24 20:14
It promises so much: “World…Wide…Web.” The whole world at your fingertips.
But like any addiction, all the promises of the WWW fell flat when I got addicted and it… Read More
2019-12-24 01:05
Originally written for the Huffington Post at Christmastime 2015, this article is for everyone who finds themselves alone this Christmas.
Holidays are traditionally the time when homo sapi… Read More
2019-12-22 21:28
All my life, I’ve had one quest. A quest so deep that it was unspoken, almost unrealized.
I’m simply looking for that person who “has it all together.” The person who… Read More
2019-12-15 22:56
With the Winter Solstice bearing down on us, there’s no better time to talk about springtime and gardens! Actually, I wrote this article last Spring but never published it so please ta… Read More
2019-12-12 18:33
No dental care. No medical care. No babysitters. One square of toilet paper per wipe. Reused bathwater. What is this? The Dark Ages!?!
Why, no, m’dear. It’s the normal upbringing… Read More
2019-12-04 19:32
I often tell Michael, “Beauty is the twelfth commandment. Cleanliness is Commandment #11 because ‘cleanliness is next to godliness,’ and Beauty is Commandment #12.” H… Read More
2019-12-04 19:10
Six minutes from my grandfather’s final resting place at Fort Snelling Cemetery is the famous Mall of America. Standing proudly since 1992, it has weathered the trend of megamall closi… Read More
2019-11-30 00:14
As the Black Friday mêlée unfolds (complete with injuries, ambulances and death threats), I’m again grateful for being raised without Christmas presents.
I know it’… Read More
2019-11-26 16:43
It would be funny, if it weren’t so tragic. It would be amusing, if it weren’t so maddening. In my experience, all narcissists do one weird thing: they believe themselves to have… Read More
2019-11-20 14:00
Hi Mom,
How are you? Did you get the Frangos? Little blast from the past, eh! I know you always liked them. Enjoy or as I always say in Julia Child’s honking voice when I serve Michael… Read More
2019-11-14 03:30
Life is like friendships. You only get out of it as much as you put into it. And boy! Does that take a lot of work!
The Greatest Generation knew that. In those pre-television days, they work… Read More
2019-11-12 18:47
Way back in January of this year, I wrote about a heartwarming tale of kindness in Of Kindness and Pound Cake: Hope for 2019. I believe there’s a power in a tiny act of kindness that c… Read More
2019-11-11 18:05
We never raised our right hand and vowed to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States” but we may as well have. We simply said “I Do” and, Baby, as fa… Read More
2019-11-08 20:41
With Thanksgiving bearing down on us in just twenty (and counting!) days, I’m in a mood to get a head start on gratitude. Unfortunately, the topic has gotten short shrift in this blog… Read More
2019-10-31 18:07
Since Rosie laid down her riveter and returned to the kitchen, the debate has raged. Should women just be in the home or can they “have it all” and “do it all.” Kids… Read More
2019-10-29 17:03
Piecrust promise. That’s what it was. My promise to be done with the I’m-Turning-40 articles was what Mary Poppins calls a Piecrust Promise. Easily made. Easily broken. Ooops. So… Read More
2019-10-25 17:24
Not all situations are complicated. Not all “areas” are gray. Sometimes things are so dramatic, so obvious that they are very simple. Good/Bad. Light/Dark. Yes/No. Good/ Evil.
Si… Read More
2019-10-18 15:51
It’s been some time since Narcissism Meets Normalcy indulged in the fun of being a raconteur, telling a real-life anecdote about a real-life narcissist practicing their narcissistry in… Read More
2019-10-14 22:00
Have you ever had an idea you thought was brilliant…and then everyone else shamed you for it? Yeah. Me too. Just happened, in fact.
My bright idea occurred this weekend. “Why,&r&hell…Read More
2019-10-11 22:52
What do I mean by culinary narcissism? What I don’t mean is the French insisting that theirs is the best cuisine bar none or the Japanese insisting that you can only get good sushi in… Read More
2019-10-08 16:25
Okay. Yeah. I know. I thought I was done with the whole now-I’m-turning-forty articles too…but apparently not!
Because I’ve discovered a problem with the otherwise happy a… Read More
2019-10-03 13:51
Caught up in yet another epic binge watching of anything and everything Anthony Bourdain, I find myself grieving over our loss. The world’s loss. His family’s loss. Anthony Bourd… Read More
2019-09-26 17:01
One day you wake up, look in the mirror and think, “Huh. I guess I’m stuck with myself. If I haven’t become my ideal person by now, I never will.” Being on the cusp o… Read More
2019-09-26 16:33
Working ahead has always been a stress-relieving practice and birthdays are no different. So even though my fortieth birthday is a good six months away (hey! don’t rush me!), I&r&hell…Read More
2019-09-21 06:58
Unconditional Love: It’s perhaps the biggest thing children of narcissists lacked. We didn’t feel it from our parents, didn’t see it modeled. Personally, I haven’t go… Read More
2019-09-21 06:14
Inspiration strikes at the oddest times. This article was inspired by two seemingly unrelated events.
The first event was a, how shall I put it, quintessentially textbook aggresively in-your… Read More
2019-09-14 17:58
Perhaps once a year, a phrase comes flying out of my subconscious that tickles me so much, I giggle about it for weeks. That happened the other day when I PMed a friend.
“Hurrah for t… Read More
2019-09-11 18:54
When Michael and I were house hunting in 2013, I took it as a sign that we belonged in this cottage when the bathroom mirror was exactly the same one in my grandmother’s house. But con… Read More
2019-09-09 04:35
In 1956, the beautiful English actress Deborah Kerr warbled, “Getting to know you, getting to know all about you” in the classic movie The King and I.
Easier sung, than done.
I… Read More
2019-09-01 19:41
Once upon a time, on October 5th, 1949, a loud, opinionated New York writer typed these words:
Marks & Co.
84 Charing Cross Road
London, W.C.2
England
Gentlemen:
Your ad in the Saturday… Read More
2019-08-27 17:33
Growing up, on our Living Room wall hung an interior decorating picture. It was based on Corinthians 13, the Loooooove Chapter. Your mother probably had one too. There were nine boxes and in… Read More
2019-08-27 01:33
According to Vocabulary.com, the phrase “falling in love” has been around since the 1500’s. Everytime you turn around, someone is falling into or out of love. Seems like so… Read More
2019-08-20 19:17
“You should write a book,” Michael sometimes tells me.
“I don’t wanna write a book,” says I. “You know I have the attention span of a gnat.”
“… Read More
2019-08-13 04:44
Bad Gift Giving: One of the hallmarks of narcissists! They may give gifts but it’s usually something incredibly cheap or something they like or what they think we should like because t… Read More
2019-08-13 00:19
Like a Norwegian Atlas, Michael stood on the townhome balcony, his arms fully extended above his head. In his hands, he held the family heirloom glass-topped coffeetable. It had pride of pla… Read More
2019-08-09 16:52
What if you could go back in time and share some wisdom with your younger self. The self that doesn’t know about narcissism but would benefit from what you know now. That’s what… Read More
2019-08-08 18:39
Consider this scenario: You come home from a long, stressful day at your workplace. You’re stressed out, maxed out and burned out. Someone got their ego hurt and their knickers in a bu… Read More
2019-08-01 03:56
Every so often, Michael and I get on this massive time travel kick. Doctor Who plays 24/7 at our house. For those of you who aren’t addicted to the BBC, Doctor Who is a brilliant geeky… Read More
2019-07-30 18:44
When Narcissism Meets Normalcy was launched in January of 2016, I was a different person. I’d been in recovery (oh! how I hate that word!) for two years but I was still a hot mess. I… Read More
2019-07-23 19:06
It’s funny. The things you do learn from narcissists…and the things you don’t. The choice of life lessons narcissistic parents choose to impart is almost more interesting… Read More
2019-07-22 16:00
Narcissism, we are told, is epidemic in our modern culture. Oh, it’s blamed on a lot of things: social media, selfies, Instagram, the Kardashians, everybody-wins-nobody-ever-loses chil… Read More
2019-07-16 20:54
In 1985, the lead singer and songwriter for rock band Twisted Sister, Dee Snider (or as he prefers to be called “Dee Fucking Snider,”) testified before the United State Senate&rs&hell…Read More
2019-07-16 04:38
Sometimes, I miss the old Me. The Me that smiled all the time. The Me that never got angry. The Me that “couldn’t say boo to a goose” and never said “no” to any… Read More
2019-07-11 15:42
It’s no wonder we’re all high-strung. Narcissists and their picayune judgmentalism of the most insignificant things would make anybody slightly neurotic.
I’ve often referr… Read More
2019-07-10 05:53
Do you have a “junk drawer”? Oh, come now. Be honest! We all have a junk drawer full of bits and bobs and bric-à-brac. Erma Bombeck wrote eloquently about hers. Mine is fu… Read More
2019-07-01 20:15
I’m really quite shocked at myself. Shocked I had the nerve to admit, last week, that food is my lifelong passion. But having loosed the monster, we may as well go whole hog (pun inten… Read More
2019-06-24 19:10
Five years ago, if you were to ask me, “What do you love, Lenora? What makes you happy?” you would’ve been met with a rather surprised expression and a rumbling “Ummm… Read More
2019-06-24 18:51
Many therapists ask their patients, “What do you do for fun?” and most abuse survivors don’t have a clue. But I think we can all agree on one thing: food is comforting and… Read More
2019-06-24 05:59
Here’s a closely guarded secret I’ve never told anyone: I spent the first eighteen years of my life living in my imagination. I was entirely cognizant of my real life; it just di… Read More
2019-06-17 14:00
In November 2017, Rachel Jeffs of Warren Jeffs’ infamous FLDS cult was interviewed by NBC’s Megyn Kelly on the Today show. With eyes usually downcast, making only shy sidelong ey… Read More
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