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2023-10-17 01:26
 The first few days home were terrifying. There is a PTSD that marches alongside BIG health issues and everyone in my family now has a healthy dose. I mean even tonight I was layin… Read More
2023-10-17 01:26
 i may decide to write here more. Hard to say. Updates: #1 I am alive. Heart continues to heal and recover and do it's god damned job. One flare up of pericarditis...but I kne… Read More
2022-07-28 21:36
 The reality of what has happened still catches me off guard. My habit of minimizing my trauma, my health, my life  is being broken...slowly.  Even then there are times when t… Read More
2022-06-28 18:17
 Even I can take the hint. Me, the person who never takes ANY fucking hint to let go, to subside, to be still, can take this hint. In October I felt really worn down. My office is… Read More
2022-06-28 17:34
I turned 50 in April. We'd planned a month long sojourn through Italy, starting in Rome and then winding down the Amalfi coast.  We planned that trip for over a year.Then Covid.  W… Read More
2020-03-21 02:13
The inevitable has happened. The world economy has ground to a halt and the nation casts their eyes to whom? Child Care providers."Work! Keep Working! We need you to work so we can give you… Read More
2020-01-01 22:01
I wrote the below in November.  Egad, did I ever feel rotten. My lipase has started to come down and I am due for more tests in the next couple of weeks here in January 2020.  My b… Read More
2019-06-19 15:15
As I sat in my hospital room, lights low, I filtered this information - but slowly. Terrance, who had gone home for the evening, would need telling and I needed to do that gently.  He g… Read More
2019-05-12 03:59
On Monday, April 29th, I turned 49 years old.On Tuesday April 30th, I was admitted to the hospital with acute renal failure.They didn't know that at first, of course.  The ER doctor, th… Read More
2019-04-28 17:45
The baby bird is leaving the nest. Well, not really, but she is testing her wings.On Friday, Emily walked to school ....“Alone”. Of course this means that Terrance trailed her to… Read More
2019-04-22 03:53
Sometimes I get very tired of being a Mom. I know, I know. Not for long. Usually a good sleep, or latte will bring me back to myself.However, it is the moments when you have said "Get ready… Read More
2019-04-18 02:57
Tonight, I led my daughter from the path of righteousness.Yes. I secreted food and beverage in her backpack and had her carry it into the movie theatre.The movie being Harry Potter, of cours… Read More
2019-04-12 03:47
The storm arrived fast. There had been no tell tale clouds in the sky. No predictions of rain in the forecast. In fact, until the moment the storm arrived, you would never have guessed that… Read More
2019-04-11 03:52
The old cliché is that the shoemakers kids are the ones walking around barefoot, right?  Well, kids of early childhood professionals are the ones who fail to adhere to developmen… Read More
2019-04-08 02:22
In keeping with our theme of "ways to make Dawn and Terrance uncomfortable and/or annoyed" , we can safely add the persistent and unexpected crying that our child has taken to unleashing at… Read More
2019-04-03 05:14
As part of my "Let's do anything to keep a child busy during two rainy in-service days" campaign this week, Em and I went to see Pirates of the Carribean.I like watching a little Orlando Blo… Read More
The Body Electric
2019-04-01 03:13
I was 35 when I began writing this blog. I am 48, soon to be 49, now.At 35, my body underwent what I can only assume to be some bizarro hormonal change. My deodorant stopped working and I mo… Read More
2019-03-26 20:41
Some of you may have noticed the recent emergence of several posts which seem....out of time.No, my daughter has not morphed backwards to an 8 year old.  Yes, she still asks for dessert… Read More
2019-03-25 02:27
While we were in the Target dressing room, Emily asked me what was wrong with her Daddy.I took a deep breath and tried my best to explain to her that he father had noticed the changes that h… Read More
2019-03-25 02:23
Last week, Emily and I were walking along the lake. The flooding was at it's height, and we walked around looking to see how far the lake had risen into our neighbors yards. We walked down t… Read More
2019-03-25 02:17
Last night, after dinner, we three were settling down to our evening activities.Emily snuggled into the couch and pulled the quilt over her. I recognized the nesting behavior. I knew what sh… Read More
2019-03-25 02:16
So we all know about my daughters penchant for asking me pointed questions regarding sex and sexuality when I least expect it..Right?It is not as if I am embarrassed when it comes to bodies… Read More
2019-03-25 02:15
I decided to take Emily for a rainy day walk yesterday. She was off the wall, and while it was cool and rainy, it was not prohibitively so.We bundled up, she in her matching rain coat, boots… Read More
2018-11-12 00:28
I was laying in the bath this afternoon. It is one of my weekend treats - baths in the afternoon, soaking in epsom salt and french lavender oil. The decadence of it - the time it takes to dr… Read More
Test Flight
2017-12-21 04:06
I wrote this on August 14th. She is home now, having survived and begun to thrive during her first semester at college. Her grades are good and she likes her 2nd roommate (that is a tale for… Read More
2017-03-05 23:32
Em: "Hey Mom! You've got like three episodes of Walking Dead on your DVR!"Me: "Yeah. I can't bear to watch it right now."Em: "Why not? You love Walking Dead."Me: "Because if I want to see a… Read More
2017-02-19 05:35
My rabbit died Wednesday night.I held Jackson, first as I tried to warm him and syringe feed him, and later as he had seizures that left him gasping for air in between. His death was far mor… Read More
2016-11-11 17:55
I don't really have much to say about the election that hasn't been said by people more eloquent than I.In our home, we have had to comfort our child. An openly gay black young woman who sob… Read More
2016-10-04 02:29
What's up?Here? Not much, you know. Beginning of school tumult. Massive research project launch in which I run around with 4 year olds who are all wearing mic's and I photograph and document… Read More
2016-08-10 21:23
I finding myself spinning off into dreamy contemplation as of late.It's the season, I know. Hot and humid, my hair in ringlets every morning after sleeping in the steam bath of my room, I wa… Read More
Time Makes You Bolder
2016-07-18 20:02
Children get olderI've spent the summer thus far in service to college visits.  We have visited many and one thing is clear, my preferences are not my daughters.In some ways, it is perf… Read More
2016-05-28 04:33
I stood at the sink this afternoon, hands under running water, slicing strawberries.I'd finished cutting the peppers. Then I tackled the jicama. Bit by bit, the raw produce was washed and pe… Read More
2016-05-01 21:57
In Target:Emily: I don't get "fitbit".Me: Neither do I. I don't need that kind of pressure in my life.Woman in target looking at the FitBit display: Oh, actually they're really fun!  I… Read More
2016-04-28 17:39
Emily and Terrance have the perfectly awful habit of attempting to have conversations through me.I detest this, and have told them both a million times to just. converse. with. each. other.T… Read More
2016-04-18 04:32
My birthday is coming.Terrance finds it increasingly challenging to find gifts with which to shower me after 25 years as a couple. This year, however, he came up with a novel solution: Ticke… Read More
2016-03-31 19:41
I've spent 27 years caring for other people's children. I have no complaints about how I have chosen and managed my career. It was the absolute right choice for me and I do not recall a sing… Read More
2016-03-19 18:53
While Spring break has come and gone at my school, Spring is being temperamental and avoidant. I nearly cried to see the snow again this morning. I am a strong woman and don't generally comp… Read More
2016-03-19 18:53
This Friday I had an appointment with my wax professional.I like her well enough - she's no Rosa and not even Polly, but hey, I'm in Wisconsin. I'm just happy to find someone who is willing… Read More
2016-03-19 18:53
A few weeks ago I assigned a webinar being hosted by NAEYC as an assignment for my students in my Administration of early childhood programs classes. The topic of the webinar was leadership… Read More
2016-03-17 16:42
The thing you don't want to do, when laying with 25 acupuncture needles inserted into your body, is to make a sudden movement.Your muscles will tense. They will tense around the needle. &nbs&hell…Read More
2016-01-11 17:16
An open letter to my beloved siblings:If you plan a vacation to Japan to intentionally visit the "Suicide Forest", do not anticipate that I will drop what I am doing to come save you when yo… Read More
2016-01-05 02:07
Did I remember to change the office hours in my syllabus?I must refill the school lunch account for Em. Those reminders are worse than the cheery "Hey! It's time for your student loan paymen… Read More
2015-12-17 04:24
I recline in the chair and breathe slowly.In. Out. In.The task is for me to bring my body into some sort of stasis, consciously relaxing the parts in which I am carrying tension. This is har… Read More
2015-11-27 20:48
I am in Detroit. Having Thanksgiving with this same family. I still occasionally say "But the Baby wants a hot dog!"****A week has passed. There are no left overs of succulent roast turkey i… Read More
2015-11-23 00:50
Where am I?Here, of course. Busy. Absorbed in the world of work, my students, my child, my pets.  Headed into the final weeks of the semester, managing student teachers and assignments… Read More
2015-09-04 18:47
In August, my decade long anniversary with this blog passed unnoticed by me.Time is like that, I think.You watch things and wonder how long it will take you to get something done, or how lon… Read More
2015-08-30 20:09
My eye has been twitching since April.At first I assumed it was because of the end of the semester was fast approaching and I had eleventy-billion things to attempt to complete and 65 studen… Read More
2015-08-11 22:31
Some days, you come in to your office.The office that you have to unpack becauseyou had to pack it all up so the carpets could be cleanedafter a pipe burst and demolished some of your hooked… Read More
2015-08-03 21:34
I held her as she died.A strong kick as the seizures rippled through her body. A moment of calm as I told her I was there, that she would be all right, just relax...and then another kick.Thr… Read More
2015-05-27 04:03
I've been graced with some gifts of temperament that have made the children in my care regard me differently.I am a watcher. I observe twice as much as I talk. When I do talk, I try to frame… Read More
2015-05-25 18:23
There are some questions I am asked every semester by my students.Of course, sometimes it is because they know I will launch into an entertaining tangent. Mostly, however, it is because they… Read More
2015-04-17 02:57
I have been waiting for it.The angry outburst from my mother, the recriminations that I did not behave in the way she expected me to behave.It's the pattern, of course.My aunt killed herself… Read More
2015-02-15 01:02
My beloved Aunt Judy committed suicide.I am not angry, because I feel too deeply what she may have felt. I know the urge.It seems she was very ill, advanced breast cancer, and no one knew. N… Read More
2015-01-08 06:53
Once a week, I change my sheets. When I do this, I sprinkle lavender oil over the new sheets and pillowcases. For several days afterwards I sleep in a field of French lavender. I do this for… Read More
2014-11-27 02:24
Originally published 2/2006. This was part of my Master's thesis on Anti-Bias Curriculum. However, it was also a declaration of myself as a Social Justice Ally. As an Early Childhood ed… Read More
2014-11-01 15:58
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0053O1KHA/ref=cm_cr_mts_prod_imgDespite my worry that I am going to get sacked ( and not in the "sexy" way) meaning all of the dire predictions of Terrance… Read More
2014-10-30 19:50
I opt my kid out of standardized testing.Yep. You can, you know. Did you know? Probably not, but you can.Emily has two parents who both know how poorly constructed standardized tests are, as… Read More
2014-10-13 17:23
It is no secret that my politics are.....quite left. I AM that left wing bleeding heart liberal that gets demonized in the press. The fact that my spouse is a bit more left than I… Read More
2014-09-28 03:49
While I haven't been here, I have been here.Busy with a new school year, all of my energy is focused outward to students and Emily.This is good. I am better when busy. I am happy when I am b… Read More
2014-08-04 03:23
I am a Selkie, a changeling woman.You may capture me, but I will always long for something,Something cold and salty and feral.I will stay for loyalty, for my half selkie childrenUntil I can… Read More
2014-07-21 19:58
My blood has begun to feel like molasses. Thick and viscous, it pumps through my body while simultaneously clogging the works. I feel like a human in slow motion with every movement a monume… Read More
2014-07-10 02:37
So, um, Hi.How is it going? It's been a little while, eh?But here's the thing: I have conversations with you all the time in my head. Honestly. And because I do that, sometimes I lose track… Read More

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