It takes considerable knowledge just to realise the extent of your own ignorance!Weather forecast for tonight:  dark!A successful man is one who makes more money than what his wife coul… Read More

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar!Be stupid, be funny, be dumb, if that's who you are.Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be; that's stupid.so be yourself… Read More

If only women could read minds,every second man gets slapped!My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle, Information goes in and it's never found again!Wise men talk because they have someth… Read More

I am sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid;I really thought you already know.A day without coffee is like....Just kidding, I don't know!When you fake sleep to help your toddler… Read More

87% of youngsters are suffering from back pain. It's the people who try to be clever, who never are;the people who are clever, never think of trying to be.I never make the same mistake… Read More

Some people are like clouds, when they disappear it is a beautiful day!I like when you smile... but I love it when I'm the reason!  Some times I wonder how you put up with me...then whe… Read More

When I die, I want my last words to be, "I left a million dollars under the ..."You will never know a woman until she is drunk and nasty with you!What do people do with the time they save wr… Read More

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?Because they taste funny!Why did the mushroom go to the party?Because he was a fungi!Why did the farmer win an award?He was outstanding in his field!Why did a… Read More

What does Russian porn get you?Russian porn gets me Soviet!What is the difference between snowman and snow-woman?Snowballs!What do you call a fake spaghetti?An im-pasta!What did the yoga tea… Read More

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?A Roamin' Catholic!What do you call a factory that sells good quality products?A SatisFactory!What did one tomato tell the other tomato during a running r… Read More

A duck walks into a drug store and asks for a tube of ChapStick. The store assistant locates the tube and informs the duck that the tube costs $1.29.The duck replies, "Okay. Put it on m… Read More

Two doctors and a HMO Manager die and wait at the entrance of Pearly Gate for an interview with St. Peter. The first doctor, a pediatrician, meets St. Peter and states that he has saved… Read More

CRICKET ISN'T our national sport; hockey is. Which is weird, because whenever I see a dude with a hockey stick, my first thought is never, "Wow, this man will make our country proud." I… Read More

Can you tell me what is the best thing about Switzerland?I don't really know.  But the flag is a Big Plus!Can you invent a new word?Plagiarism!Have you heard about a mathematician who i… Read More

How To Translate Work EmailsI have a question.     =     I have 18 questions.I’ll look into it.     =     I’ve already… Read More

SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.)… Read More

The patient was very nervous as it was the first surgery he underwent.The anesthetist gave him confidence with a few words of kindness and added, " Sir please rest assured that everything wi… Read More

Q:  What do reindeer say before they crack a joke?A:  This will sleigh you!  Q:  Why did the couple get hitched on December 24?A:  Because they could have a Married… Read More

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen." The surprised salesman replies, "B… Read More

Difference between talent and God gift:A man can give lecture for 2 hours on many subjects. This is talentA woman can give lecture for 2 hour without any subject - this is a God gift!Wife: W… Read More

Before getting into the surgery room, I left a note for my surgeon to be more cautious and careful while performing the surgery.After the surgery I found a note from the doctor on my table w… Read More

*What is LIFE*?   To understand life better, you have to go to 3 locations : 1. Hospital2. Prison3. Cemetery At the Hospital, you will understand that nothing is mor… Read More

TOP 10 REASONS 10 - YOU CAN TRADE IN AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.9 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN YOU'RE ON THE ROAD.8 - IF YOU ADMIRE… Read More

After Donald Trump, the world is wondering if it is the blonde men, not women, who are actually a bit dumber. They collected these true stories of blonde men ---------------------A blon… Read More

TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.8. Personally I find wit… Read More

Wife :- I love you.I can't live without you!I will die without you!I will take poison and put an end to my life ! I will drown myself in the sea of your love!Husband :- Look, which… Read More

A youngster asked his grandfather..."Grandpa! How did you people live before withNo technology    No aeroplanesNo internetNo ComputerNo DramasNo TVNo airconsNo carsNo Mobile p… Read More

My ex-wife still misses me.  But her aim is steadily improving.Daughter:  Mom can I get a dog or cat this Christmas please?Mom:  No honey, you will get turkey like every Chris… Read More

Man outside phone booth: “Excuse me, you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven’t spoken a word”.Man inside: “i am talking to my wife!”    … Read More

A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband…“Miss” for first year and “Stress” for rest of the life…   … Read More

If friendship is your weakest point  then you  are  the strongest  person  in the world.Abraham LincolnLaughing  faces  do  not mean that&nb&hell…Read More

"The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other."  Ronald  Reagan  Never … Read More

My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last...She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to… Read More

My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last...We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionsh… Read More

Nice 8 lines from a Lecture- in London UK 1.Don't educate your children to be rich.Educate them to be Happy.So when they grow up they will know the value of things, not the pric… Read More

While getting married, most of the guys say to girl's parents, "I will keep your daughter happy for the rest of her life".Have you ever heard a girl saying something like this to the bo… Read More

Top 10 Things to do at the Mall10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.8. Ask a saleswoman whether a parti… Read More

A woman is shopping for a pet as a gift for her husband, but she is concerned that the prices that the Pet Shop are charging are very high. She goes to the clerk and explains her concer… Read More

After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.A woman went to a doctor and said, "Doctor, I hav… Read More

A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring. As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me," she asked the e… Read More

One day an old woman walked into a shop and got some dog food, she went to pay for it and the cashier said you can't buy that dog food we need evidence that you have a dog, so she bought in… Read More

The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, and bright as a new penny.When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out hi… Read More

After Leslie brought home her fiance to meet her parents, her father invited the young man into his study to find out more about him."What are your plans?" he asked Joseph."I'm a scholar of… Read More

A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and was blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife re… Read More

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed… Read More

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A: A women who won't do what she's told.Q. Why do women have breasts?A. So men will talk to them.Q: Who are women compared to hurricane?A: Becau… Read More

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?A: No, 35 children is enough.Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?A. A widow.Q. Why are married women heavier than single w… Read More

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he… Read More

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they… Read More

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?    A:… Read More

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.   The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him… Read More

Q: Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?  A: They can't stand to see a man have a good time! Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to… Read More

One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she and her husband tried it out. Almost immediately, smoke billowed out of the toaster."Get the owner's m… Read More

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.From a Japanese… Read More

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline ir… Read More

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.   The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the wo… Read More

Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast i… Read More

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?A: If it's the… Read More

A woman went to her doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. An older d… Read More

Here are some signs and notices written in English that werediscovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.In a Budapest zoo:Please do… Read More

Q: Why do women like to have sex with the lights off? A: They can't stand to see a man have a good time! Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?  A: Hold on to… Read More

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.  One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come n… Read More

Here are some signs and notices written in English that werediscovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.In a Bangkok temple:It is f… Read More

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is comp… Read More

A Priest dies & is waiting in line at Heaven's Gate. Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.God to the guy :'' Who… Read More

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."  "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't… Read More

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.In an advertise… Read More

When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines  telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A… Read More

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.Outside a Paris… Read More

The head priest at a church was out for the day, so he asked the deacon    to do  confession  for him.  The deacon agrees, and the first person that comes says, "For… Read More

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.On the menu of a Swiss res… Read More

There was a Minister whose wife was expecting a baby. The Minister went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that when the M… Read More

Here are some signs and notices written in English that werediscovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.In a Paris hotel elevator:P… Read More

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were  discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.In a Tokyo Hot… Read More

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.A long black hearse was foll… Read More

Three guys work on a construction site. One is white, one is black and one is Polish. The bell rings for lunch and the white man opens his lunch bag and sighs deeply, saying, "If my wife pac… Read More

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking… Read More

This guy suspects his wife is cheating on him. He comes home early and she meets him at the door in a bathrobe, her hair a mess. "Where is he?" he shouts. "Where's the guy who's been sleepin… Read More

A salesman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when he sees a Navajo man hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, he stops the car and the Navajo man climbs in.During th… Read More

A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory prayer. He began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous lookon his upturned face,"Without you we are but dust... "He w… Read More

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank isinstalling new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers towithdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers usin… Read More

MEMO FROM ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENTIt has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309… Read More

“Excuse me, sir, have you seen a police officer around?”“No, not a soul, actually.”“Very good, now give me your wallet, watch and laptop!”Two friends are… Read More

Around 50% of our youth sees the future in a positive way. The other half doesn’t have the money to buy the drugs.An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it’s an… Read More

What do you call a woman who always knows for sure where her husband is? A widow.My boss told me yesterday, “Ken, you shouldn't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you w… Read More

A man noticed his credit card has been stolen - but he never reported it. The thief was still spending considerably less than his wife.So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we&rsqu&hell…Read More

An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon. Just before they put him under, he asked to speak to his son: "Don’t be nervous, b… Read More

Women go on a diet on three occasions:- When they break up with a guy;- When they meet a new guy;- On Mondays.When somebody makes you really angry, count to three. When you get to two, punch… Read More

What's the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.You know you’re old when your friends start having kids on purpose.What would you call a dinosaur with a surprisingly impr… Read More

What do driving and dating have in common?Both end up with you being chased by the police if you go too fast.Today I went to a barber’s shop for a shave. The barber asked me to put a s… Read More

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he has heard that people in the U.S. eat… Read More

When your first child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you take it to a doctor. When your second child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you spit on a hankie and clean it… Read More

Q: What do the Inuit get from sitting on a block of ice?A. Polaroids.How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?Just one. They’re fiercely efficient and not really given to… Read More

A teenage boy to his father: "Father, I am not a virgin anymore."Father: "Wow that's great. Come, let's sit down and drink something to celebrate this moment."Son: "Ok, I can drink with you… Read More

Yes, I’ve lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing.A man drops his phone on a concrete floor. The phone is fine, no damage. How come?He had i… Read More

Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue you’ve broken..Sardarji: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have los… Read More

Sardarji joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.Sardarji: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it… Read More

• The person who invented the door knock .........won the No-bell prize.• I couldn't work out how to fasten my seat belt. ......... Then it clicked.• Thieves had broken into m… Read More

1. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.  ~By Lee Majors2. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't… Read More

If you randomly rearrange the letters“NARENDRA MODI” …you get“RARE DIAMOND”If you rearrange the letters“SONIA GANDHI” …(President of Indian… Read More