With every man I meet, many questions flood my head. Will this man be different from the men in my past? Will he respect me, appreciate me and Treat me with kindness? Can I let my guards down around him, or, will he take advantage of my kind heart? Should I act tough around him so he knows he can’t mess with me? Can I flirt with him a bit, or will he only think about sex? Should I be my open genuine self with him from the get go? Or will he judge me? I really want to start fresh with every man I meet but I also want to use the lessons from my past experiences to make better choices with men.
I don’t want to project my past experiences with the men of my past unto each new man I meet. I don’t want to Worry about how everything I say and do can be used against me. I want to feel free to live in the present with every new experience. I want to continue being myself and not worry about how every man I give a chance to will treat me. Most of all, I want to let go of the hurt I carry from the men of my past. Holding on to all the frustrations and disappointments of my past is exhausting. I want to give men a fair chance and not assume that they’ll be like the men of my past. Yet, I also want to be careful to stay away from men who will hurt me. Finding a balance between the two is a challenge.