Kerri Lyon and her metal designer fiancé Christian, who are both 29 and live in Plymouth, made the joint decision to enter into an ‘open engagement’.
They have a specific set of rules which governs what they are allowed to do with other people.
Kerri Lyon hopes to use her experience in an open relationship to help fulfill her dream of becoming a sex and relationship counsellor
Kerri, who has completed a degree in psychology and is planning on becoming a relationship counsellor, says: ‘Our rules are the key to the success of our open engagement and it has given us both the freedom to enjoy sex with other people and not feel guilty or jealous.’
The committed couple have been together for five years and got engaged last November on Kerri’s birthday.
t was, however, two years prior to their engagement that they agreed to let one another see other people.
Kerri explains: ‘When I started dating Christian I wasn’t very experienced.
‘I loved him but I was curious about what it would be like to have sex with other people.’
Her and her fiancé Christian, pictured on the left, have an ‘open engagement’ and are allowed to sleep with other people
The couple, pictured on Kerri’s graduation day, have been together for five years and got engaged in November on Kerri’s birthday. It was two years prior to their engagement that they agreed to let one another see other people
She struggled with wondering whether the grass was greener or if she could be better in bed.
The pair discussed her issues and decided that the best solution was to agree to an open relationship with strict rules.
‘Kerri and I came up with a set of rules and it’s those rules which gave us comfort in trying this open relationship,’ says Christian.
They believe sex can be physical or experimental and that it is different to love and sharing their life and intimate details with another person.
Among the rules Kerri and her fiancé agreed on is that kissing and holding hands with someone else is allowed without telling the other person.
Kerri says: ‘I loved him but I was curious about what it would be like to have sex with other people’ and wanted to be better in bed
‘If you want to go to heavy petting then that person has to meet each of us again as a way of showing we are open about what the other is doing,’ the pair say.
If the relationship with the new person turns into sex, then they discuss what is happening and the three of them meet to talk about it.
‘We agreed to certain nights being ‘away nights’ so that the other person didn’t walk in on me or I on Christian,’ Kerri says.
They also say that if the situation arose they will try threesomes or experiment with a polyamorous relationship.
The couple got tested for STDs and they make sure they’re tested every six months, agreeing to practice safe sex with other people until they are tested as well.
The couple have a set of rules that they adhere to and, Christian says, ‘it’s those rules which gave us comfort in trying this open relationship’
Kerri, pictured above on the right, has had sex with two other men and one woman and as a couple they have had a polyamorous relationship with a woman which lasted eight months
Kerri says: ‘For both of us the rules, agreeing them and writing them down made it real and since we started the now ‘open engagement’ sex I’ve learnt new ways to please Christian and he’s learnt new ways to please me.
‘Christian though is, and will always be, the love of my life.’
She has now had sex with two other men and one woman and as a couple they’ve had a polyamorous relationship – or triad relationship – with a woman which lasted eight months and ended earlier this year.
Kerri and Christian sayd there would be fewer divorces if others followed their example
‘I feel incredibly confident now in the bedroom and our relationship as a couple who will walk down the aisle grows daily,’ says Kerri.
‘I am learning lots of new skills to please Christian and during the triad relationship he learnt new skills to please me.’
Christian adds: ‘This isn’t a fancy way to have a relationship and play away from home as well.
‘It is about trusting your love for the other person and respecting they want and need the freedom to experiment for the benefit of our life together. Honesty is the core to it and we have both learnt new skills to please the other especially having been in a triad relationship.
‘Our friends are incredibly accepting, we get lots of questions from them and I feel it’s strengthened our love for each other. If Kerri and I hadn’t discussed it up we would would hate to think we would have married and ten years down the track she’d had regrets.’
They both think if more couples followed their model with rules for other sexual partners then the rate of divorce and break ups would be lowered.
Since they started their ‘open engagement’, Kerri, pictured above, says she has learnt more ways to pleasure Christian and vice versa
She says: ‘There is nothing sleazy or dirty about what we are doing’ and despite admitting it is unconventional, ‘it adds spark into your life and I am proud of my fiancé’
The pair say that there is nothing sleazy or dirty about what they are doing and in fact it’s a recognition of how much they love and trust each other.
Kerri says: ‘My aim is to be a sex therapist. By sitting down and talking about sex and telling Christian what I needed and him telling me what he needed was a huge relief.’
‘It doesn’t mean I don’t love him – I wear his engagement ring with pride and plan to marry him.’
The couple are also planning to adopt a child because Kerri is unable to have children.
Kerri says: ‘Yes, it is unconventional but it adds spark into your life and I am proud of my fiancé.
‘We are a better couple, more in love and are planning a long life together.’
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