It’s been one of those days when the whole population of the planet earth are sent out to get you. God everyone I have had dealings with today should get a medal in recognition of getting right under the skin of Helen Reid!
My bad mood was activated early this Morning. Now you should know by now how stressed I get when the youngest rides his bike to school. I am getting a little better, I have now stopped chewing the table legs and manage to sit in silence while I wait for his triumphant text to tell me he is there. Except this morning there was no text. No bloody text! I sat looking at the clock, I wondered whether I should text him, but apparently I embarrassed him last time I did that, so I continue to wait….and wait…and wait. I waited so long that his classes would have started so even if I had built up enough courage to text him, his phone would have been off. Everything is running through my mind, has he been run over, got lost, been abducted, you get the picture. I am absolutely furious, he had one word to text “here”, it’s not asking a lot is it. But no, obviously something much more important than his mothers sanity came up. My next option is to ring the school, no he would kill me if he found out, plus if he hadn’t arrived in class they would contact me to ask where he is. Now reading this back I know I seem a little bit over protective and actually I know deep down in my sub conscience he had just forgot to text, but I have this mad woman who lives inside of me, she only appears when the kids are involved, she is unpredictable, uncontrollable and ever so unreasonable. Just as I was about to ring, ping my phone went off. Youngest was safe and forgot to text. Who’d have known.
However this incident set my mood up for the day, after breakfast I had a little Shopping to do. I took advantage of the nice day to walk instead of taking the car, hoping my mood would improve along with the weather. The walk into town is around three-quarters of an hour and uses a path that is both accessible to pedestrians and cyclists. Now who ever came up with this idea really needs a good slap. It’s just not going to bloody work. I can manage the bikes coming towards me, yes I have plenty of time to move to one side and let them past. It’s the sneaky buggers who ride silently up behind you, then ding their bell, watching you scarper in any direction your startled body takes you. This morning I nearly ended up on a gentleman’s handlebars. It is like being in an actual game of Horace goes skiing, just remembering that if you get squished there is no ‘play again’ button. I am sure people get pleasure from it, lets sneak up on the slightly overweight, middle-aged woman and ding our bells, like an adult version of boo.
After risking life and limb, I finally got into the town centre, now I am not prim and proper by any stretch of the imagination, in fact I have been known to slob around my house with the best of them. But that’s the difference, my house. How the hell do some of these people look in the mirror in the morning and think, mmm yes that looks good. We are not talking bad fashion sense here, we are talking nightwear. I actually saw two women shopping, not together it must be said, in their fucking p.j’s. Now I love my jim jams but unless there was a fire and Coop was the only place to get water, would I leave the house to go shopping in my nighty. Not only that but one lady (I use the term loosely) had fabulous slippers on, just to finish the outfit off. We are not talking nipping to the local corner shop here, we are in the middle of Tesco. I couldn’t help staring and it obviously didn’t go unnoticed, after ‘lady’ two had finished picking her cherry tomatoes, she gave me an absolutely stinking look and then climbed back onto her mobility scooter. With a turn of her handlebars she shot passed me at speed. Not forgetting to run over my foot in the process. She looked back without a hint of an apology, the bitch did it on purpose. Fucking hell it hurt, never ever again will I stare at undressed people in Tesco, my lesson has been learn’t…….I hobbled to the till and paid for my things, I am absolutely tamping. I wanted to shout after her, about being a bloody idiotic, under dressed driver, but the reality is I am just too big a shit and I get the feeling judging by her driving, that I would come away the worse off.
Right all that’s left to do is get home, negotiate the Tour De France route, while carrying my shopping and hobbling on a crushed foot. Then sit and worry until youngest walks through the front door. After that I intend to feed the herd and then run myself a nice bath, then I am gong to put my p.j’s on and climb into my bed (where you are supposed to wear them) and wait to see what tomorrow has to offer… Love as always Helen xx
