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HANGING ON TO YOUR SELF BELIEF

After three years and eight months of pouring my Heart into my recently completed MS, I woke up this morning having a bit of a wobble.

Insomnia is a curse.  It robs you of your much needed restorative sleep, as you spend hours staring at the ceiling, wallowing in a sea of self-doubt.

Is my storyline is strong enough to reel in potential readers? More in importantly, will it hook a sympatico agent, as well as a publisher willing to take a chance on a newbie.

My story is not an epic, like Gone With the Wind (my favourite book). There are no superheroes, demigods or magicians,  no handmaids or warlocks.  It is about the knock-on-effect a flawed childhood can have on your adult life.

Writing the synopsis has tested my mettle.  Each word and sentence I’ve used to squish 93,000 words into a ridiculously hard to write precis, have been rewritten umpteen times and shuffled around the page.

Then, the words of T. S. Elliot kept popping into my head.

“Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.”
T.S. Eliot

Oh, crap… so, by the time dawn came around, I was ready to take up something less stressful, such as rock climbing or bungee jumping.

Fortunately, my writer’s group meets on Tuesdays so, after an hour and a half with them, they buoyed me up and I’m back on track.

When you have invested so much of your time in something, self-doubt has a nasty habit of creeping up on you, catching you unawares, but you have to keep the faith, never, ever, give up.

Yesterday the literary world suffered a great loss following the death of novelist, essayist, editor, teacher and professor emeritus at Princeton University, Toni Morrison.  Her novels were characterised by a visionary force and poetic import, and I hold her words very close to my heart.

“If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, you must be the one to write it.”

RIP Toni Morrison 1931-2019



This post first appeared on TESSA BARRIE'S LOST BLOGS – Life's Too Short To Be Niche, please read the originial post: here

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HANGING ON TO YOUR SELF BELIEF

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