Excerpts from various unfinished, finished, published and unpublished pieces of fiction and other literary efforts.
An Honest Review – July 2017
Shortly after she finished the fifth rewrite Edna collared me in Hargreaves, Didsbrook’s old-fashioned purveyor of meat. An orderly queue of customers had formed, spilling out of the door and into the street. Didsbrookians prefer to pay twice as much to watch Mr Hargreaves hack off their chosen Sunday joint with his cleaver, giving the hermetically sealed equivalent from the supermarket down the road the cold shoulder. Edna has a very loud, booming voice and the very small shop with its sawdust-covered floor amplified her theatrical tones.
‘Of course once my book is reviewed, and no doubt you will be reviewing it too won’t you Lucy dear?’ I managed a feeble smile and nodded resignedly. ‘It will be all over the press, the Internet and goodness knows where else. I’ll have fans turning up on the doorstep asking for autographs every five minutes. I appreciate that attracting thousands of fans to Didsbrook would do wonders for the local economy, as I am sure Mr Hargreaves here would agree …’ Mr Hargreaves looked up, smiled vacantly, then bore his cleaver down into an inert carcass as Edna continued. ‘But, although I know they would mean well, they would take up far too much of my time whilst I’m writing the sequel.’ Us aspiring writers need to keep the faith and I so wish mine was as strong as Edna’s.
Edna’s work in progress and future bestseller is about a fourteen-year-old busybody. No … Dulcie Darling, is a meddlesome teenager who just happens to have been born with magical powers. Week by week we are subjected … oops, slap my own wrist … treated to Edna’s theatrical readings of the jaunty tale of the fearless Dulcie’s endless heroism and enchantment, as she magically gets herself out of tricky situations she should never have allowed herself to become involved in. In a world of wizards, Edna may well conjure up a publishing contract and I wouldn’t need read it to review it because it’s been read to us so many times during our group meetings, I am word perfect.
Filed under: Humour, Writing Tagged: fiction, humour, Writing