Outtakes from current work-in-progress 2015-2017

Half a bottle of champagne and a sea food platter

‘I’m glad you rang, I’ve got a bit of news for you. How was your flight?’

‘News? Good I hope. The flight was bloody brilliant actually. I met Luke Holloway in the departure lounge at Gatwick. He was also headed for Toulouse and he dropped me off at my dad’s and … er … he stayed the night …’

‘In the spare room I hope and not in your bed?’

‘Oh come on Em! You can be such a prude these days. Yes, in my bed. It’s been such long time and he is still pretty irresistible. He’s been working in Africa, so he’s all bronzed and gorgeous.  I’m just so relieved that, having abstained for so long, everything still seems to be in working order!” She laughed at her feeble attempt at a joke which was followed by silence. “Em? I thought you might be pleased for me?’

‘How could I be pleased for you?  He may be gorgeous and irresistible but he dumped you remember?    My recollection is that you both went to work one morning, then the next time you heard from him was by email from Australia 3 days later.  You had no idea he was going anywhere, let alone the other side of the world.  What on earth were you thinking?’

She knew Emma was right.  She always was.  Luke had broken her heart and she had cried on Emma’s shoulder for weeks.   She had been so easily flattered by his attention at Gatwick.  All it had taken was half a bottle champagne and a seafood platter to guarantee him a night in her bed.  

That wonderful thing hindsight, also known as Emma, was telling her now that, however desperate she was to find a significant other to share her life, so easily allowing the consistently unreliable Luke back in her life, smacked of desperation.  So she hastily changed the subject.

‘What’s your news then?’

Filed under: Humour, Writers, Writing Tagged: fiction, humour, Outtakes, Writing