I walked towards my workplace, as Thomas drifted along with me. The busy sidewalk flowed like a river, carrying the regular stream of people on their way to work. I saw a familiar face in the crowd, who was walking towards me. I kept my eyes focused on the cement ground, in hopes of not make eye contact with him. As he inched closer, I sneaked a glance in his direction.
“How are you doing buddy? It has been a while Where are you working now?” said Mark my ex co-worker, as he stopped in his path and took note of me. He had a wide smile stretching across his face.
“I am doing okay. I am working in Tarkus now” I said as I looked over Mark who seemed to be brimming with joy. I anxiously shook my feet to indicate that I was in a hurry.
“ You are probably selling those ancient computers, right? They promoted me to executive manager at Harp. I wish they hadn’t fired you for not closing that sale. Don’t worry when I get promoted again, I will definitely hire you” said Mark as he slapped me on my back. “Well I better get going.”
I had to hold Thomas back because he knew what Mark had done. I could tell that Thomas would like nothing better than to wipe that smile of Mark’s face, with a punch straight to the jaw.
“See you ” I said gloomily. Mark winked at me, as he hopped down the sidewalk.
“Mark stole that sale at the last minute. It was really bad luck. Do not worry, show all those pricks when you make your first million” said Thomas as he bit his lower lip in anger.
I felt the anger burn me up from within. It spread throughout my body, as I felt like screaming. I hated Mark’s guts. Everything was given to him on a silver plate, as all of his desires came into fruition. God must favor him over me. The blame for my state of affairs rests squarely on God’s shoulders . I will prove God and Mark wrong, when I achieve things greater than either of them ever expected.
Thomas indicated that time was passing swiftly. I realized that I had been standing still and stewing in hate. I pushed forward through the crowded downtown avenue. As I walked past Starbucks, I gazed into the glass window. There was a long line of people seeking their coffee fix. I noted a couple in the corner had their arms around each other. Their lips were interlocked, as they passionately embraced each other.
“Remember that time, when Christie rejected the love interest present within. She indicated her dislike using the friend card. She even told all her friends about it” said Thomas as he noted the couple kissing.
I felt the old memory creep in, as Thomas reminded me of the incident. I heard that Christie had a good laugh with all her friends about my failed attempt. The emotional pangs associated with shame struck me, as I looked in awe at the kissing couple. Then my mind drifted to my ex-wife who had abandoned me in the dust to fend for myself. It was my alcoholism that drove her to that pivotal decision.
“Forgot about it, it is Christie’s loss. The bitchy ex-wife was a gold-digger, who only stayed during the good times” said Thomas noticeably shaken.
I walked past a patio bar and took in the rich smell of beer. Well-dressed people sat around tables, as they sipped on beers during their lunch break. They all seemed to be laughing and enjoying life to the fullest.
“Grab a drink. It will wash away all of this. All the bad memories will be forgotten” said Thomas as he looked at the bar.
I felt the craving for a beer resonate throughout my body. I shivered in fear, as I dreamed of a beer. The good memories associated with drinking came flooding in, as my mind was already made up. I have been clean for one year. Now I can handle the drink.
“Alright just one” I said as I walked towards the bar.
“Remember all the pain caused by drinking” said Thomas in fear. “Do not give up now.”
I stopped in front of the gate and drifted into myself. Nothing existed for a moment. Thomas drifted away and become quiet. There was only I.
I let my consciousness flow through my being, as I realized I had almost given up on my recovery. I took a deep breath in and become aware of what I was doing. I jumped back from the gate. I continued towards my office which was only a few blocks away. I pushed open the glass door and walked into the lobby of my office.
“Hey Thomas, Have a good day at work” said the Brenda the receptionist as she buzzed me through the gate.
I smiled at Brenda and continued on my precarious journey through life.