Growing up on the plus size can be a blessing and curse at the same time depending on where you grew up, in Nigeria where i was born ''plus size'' women were considered the richer ones and most men were more attracted to plus Size Women. Then i came to England and it was a different ball game i mean i was only 15 and wasn't self conscious at all i was very Confident with my size but most kids my age were slim but still wasn't bothered.
The older i got the bigger i became then i went from been referred to as chubby to Fat, the more people called me fat the sadder i became but i thought i cant choose what people call me so i tried not to let that bother me a lot.
I know you wonder where the self hate and sadness truly started i will tell you I remember one time we had a family party my uncle and his wife saw me for the first time after a few years and they both shouted at the same time "Ese what are you eating my goodness you have become so fat no no no you need to seriously do something about your weight, this is not a good look" i seriously had no reply i remember going to seat in the car just to cry i felt so ashamed, not loved, and humiliated i wasn't myself at that party at all.
After that episode with my uncle i remember calling my mum and crying some more and she advised me to love myself and be confident, stop letting what people say or thought about my weight worry me or even bring me down after that conversation i decided i was going to stop hiding indoors and beating myself up about my weight because at that point i was slowly starting to hate myself.
I decided to try something different and just love myself exactly how i am i needed to accept all my curves and just wear the right clothes that fit me properly and truly be confident and be happy after all that's the body i am stuck with until i decide to change it and do something about it.
Please if you find that you are in a shell because of your weight i urge you to take a look in the mirror and be happy with the body that you have. the moment you realise that being fat or skinny doesn't define who you are in this life and should not control your happiness. Look around don't be shy to shop in the plus size and curve sections ASOS has a fantastic curve selection to choose from and many more.
I am a lot more confident than i was two years ago, embarking on a fitness journey to be a healthier and happier person although its still trial and error for what works for me, regardless i still choose happiness.
Please be sure to share this post someone might some encouragement.
KNIT POINTELLE BLOUSE- COSTER COPENHAGEN
BAG- LOUIS VUITTON
NECKLACE AND SLEEVLESS JUMPER- PRIMARK