When we received the phone call saying we would be contestants on the game show “The Family Feud” I was literally screaming with excitement. I was ecstatic, nervous, overjoyed and speechless but then I almost became overtaken by fear. The fear had nothing to do with being on the show, knowing the answers, competing or even the final outcome; I was afraid to fly on the plane to get there. You see one of the accommodations paid for by the game show was transportation there by flight. I immediately began to pray against the fear of flying. The easiest solution was to push the thought of flying there completely out of my mind and I began to practice this daily. I instead concentrated on the excitement of meeting the host, imagining what the stage and set would like and my favorite part of all-winning the money!
I was able to get away with ignoring the thought of flying for about a month; however, the two weeks prior to going became the worst. The flight was from Cleveland, Ohio to Atlanta, Georgia, and would take an hour and a half. No matter how short I tried telling myself the trip was, it didn’t help. I even began looking on the Internet for information or other people who also shared the fear of flying-BIG MISTAKE! The things I read online only made the anxiety worse.
Sunday morning, four days prior to my trip, I was sitting in Sunday school when I had a revelation. The lesson was about God’s commitment and our commitment to God. My teacher, the highly anointed and highly humble Deacon Bailey, has the gift of putting God’s word in a text that challenges you. This challenge allows you to self-examine how this Word can work or is working in your life. In this lesson he said God’s commitment toward us never falls short; it is our commitment that falls short toward God. The more Deacon Bailey taught, the more I felt convicted. My Bishop always tells us that church is like a hospital and here I was in my seat about to burst from all the areas of my heart that God wanted to do surgery on.
After expressing my fear and receiving prayer from Deacon Bailey, I realized my fear had a lot to do with my mom’s death. You see I am still dealing with the loss of my mom. As a saint of course I know to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord but in short I simply miss my mom. I’ve seen so many deaths of people young and old; some of these deaths came so suddenly that it’s taught me a new appreciation of my own life. I’ve seen a 20-year-old pass with cancer, a 19-year-old pass of a heart attack and 25 people from my old school district alone have passed on; teachers as well as students make up this number. Sometimes it’s both shocking and frightening to read the obituary of someone you were just with days ago. In these moments you can’t help but wonder or even question when your time is coming.
There are people who often say, “If I died right now, I’m not scared because we all have to die and I know where I’m going.” Well I know where I’m going too but when I think of my babies and my husband, the thought of leaving them is absolutely frightening. I have prayed for peace concerning this matter many times and I just thank God for His love and patience with me. A few weeks prior to receiving the lesson in Sunday school, I received a lesson from another great minister titled: “In order to ascend you must descend.” This lesson focused on releasing the fear of death, letting go of the world and worldly things and ascending into all, which God has called you to be.
The week of the flight I couldn’t sleep too well, the anxiety was on high and all I could think about was being in the sky, millions of miles up in the air above the clouds, in the airplane. Needless to say, the thought of even being on the game show went totally out of my mind. Before I knew it, the morning had arrived and it was time to go to the airport. (I don’t think I have to tell you that I only slept 30 minutes total, the night before my flight) I felt like I was shaking in my boots the entire way to the airport. This shaking got even worse when I received my boarding pass and went through the security scans. I had so many butterflies in my stomach that I couldn’t eat a thing and I’m a sister that can eat let me tell you!
I boarded the plane and there were six other family members and friends on board with me, however, in those moments it was just God and me. When I sat in my seat, which was all the way in the back of the plane by the wing and engine, I immediately felt the small plane closing in on me. I heard a voice from within screaming, “get me off this plane” and I wanted to run for my life. I immediately covered my face and began to cry from the fright and although every other thought left my mind I remembered to pray. I placed my shaking hands in my husband’s and asked him to pray for me. I immediately began speaking God’s peace, which surpasses all understanding, to cover me and it did.
I snapped my seatbelt on and sat in the middle of my husband (who was on my left) and my nephew, Akil (who sat on my right.) The stewardess announced several countdowns to locking the door and taking off for flight. It was at that moment that I decided I wanted to descend in God in order to ascend in God. I knew in order to get to where God was calling me, I had to trust Him. As the plane blasted up hard and fast and shifted up into the sky, God gave me peace concerning my children and every other worry which tormented me for the last several weeks. I knew God never fell short of His commitment concerning me, and this time I wasn’t going to fall short toward him, like I had done many times in the past. I felt all types of giants being slain in my life as I rode the friendly skies and it felt great! Occasionally, I would take little sneak peaks out of the window to look at the clouds and the view below and still I was okay. I hadn’t died, fainted, lost control or any of the other lies that the enemy tried telling me before entering the plane.
Before I knew it we had arrived in Atlanta. In fact, we weren’t scheduled to arrive in Atlanta until 8:55 a.m. and we landed at 8:30 a.m. This was it, it was out with the old and in with the new; it was time to be a contestant on “The Family Feud.” Thank you God for giving me the strength and mind to descend so I could ascend. Thank you for being greater in me than he that is in the world. You see, God did not give us the spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind and I was exercising every bit of it!
For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you."~ Isaiah 41:13
(Excerpt from my book "Surrendering the Mask," Get it here: http://www.amazon.com/SURRENDERING-MASK-Brandy-BrandyWine-Rankins-ebook/dp/B008BWI6OQ
Until next time,
Be Blessed, Be Bold, Be BEAUTIFULLY YOU!!
This post first appeared on Beauty With BrandyWine Journeying Beauty InSideOut, please read the originial post: here