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Bullying in Adulthood

Tags: bullying

This is a blog post I wrote in draft quite some time ago and I didn't publish because just the act of writing it out helped me a lot. Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, the situation has not resolved and although I'm in a different, stronger mental space, the act of Bullying is still completely unacceptable.  I'm not going to allow it to be glossed over and hidden behind bureaucracy because it isn't just about me, it's about anyone else who falls into the same environment and is made to feel in the wrong.

So here goes...

What's the first thing you think of when you hear the word 'bullying'? Kids, right? And school, or maybe cyber bullying, things associated with a younger generation for the most part.

Unfortunately bullying doesn't magically stop when we enter the world of adulthood and an unfortunate experience of late has brought me to writing about this topic. Because here's the thing - I'm a pretty confident person, quiet, it's true, but certainly not lacking in self-esteem. I'm proud of my achievements and comfortable in my 47 year old skin, happy to be me.
Perhaps some people perceive my easy going nature for weakness but nothing could be further from the truth. I don't seek out confrontation and I abide by a 'live and let live' philosophy most of the time but I'm very able and willing to fight my corner if necessary.

What's the distinction between bullying in adulthood and bullying in childhood? Well, none really. The effects are the same, the process is often the same and the motivation can also be the same.
And I have experienced just that recently. The effect on me has been huge, it has dented my self-confidence, made me doubt my abilities and caused me to feel socially awkward because I was carrying an internal 'loser' flag.
I even found it hard to write because I was questioning everything about myself.  My Dad passed away earlier in the year and this was followed shortly afterwards by a very frightening (and life-threatening) health scare.  I have been emotionally fragile and trying to put all the pieces of myself back together.  Did this 'weakness' make me a target? Possibly.  No one can understand fully the motivation of another human being I suppose.

What I have realised though, is that the process of being diminished by another person relies on a sense of shame, a belief that somehow you are at fault and deserve to be treated badly.
It can also rely on a shroud of secrecy and when I started to mentally articulate what was happening, I woke up to the fact that the fault wasn't mine to begin with. And here I am writing again :) I leave you with this amazing quote by Michael J. Fox:


Michael J. Fox Bullying Quote



This post first appeared on Purity Belle Irish Soy Candles And Lifestyle, please read the originial post: here

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Bullying in Adulthood

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