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My Recovery Blog
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Self-journey to discovering joy and madness.
2023-02-11 07:36
 2:18pmDear me fucks. I'm back in the grip of obsessive rage. This time, the true pigs are slaving away in the corporation society. Never in my life have I witnessed such disarray, and… Read More
2023-02-08 05:14
​1:13pmI don’t have time to think about my conscience. I am wearing an old blazer uniform, i am dressed smartly albeit the squeaky boots to heighten some length. But one thing I… Read More
I Want To Love You
2023-01-10 13:28
7:55amThis morning I woke up with a surge of confidence driven up my mind. Feeling refreshed, I took a while to get out of my bed, not the endless mindlessly scrolling on social media kind b… Read More
2023-01-10 13:04
 9:29 pmI'm about to celebrate living "peacefully" alone semiannually. This year thought me more than the past lessons combined. The biggest takeaway from this whole ordeal is finding o… Read More
2023-01-10 12:32
​10:19pmThe four horsemen of Jennifer’s mood. Guardians of her temperamental galaxy. I am the mother of severe bipolar flare-ups throughout this week. Not a great way to start th… Read More
2022-12-17 16:50
​12:49amIn a room full of fun chirping sounds of joy and laughter. I cannot help but feel lonely. Probably a sorrowful generation whereby we sing at hearts content, and voices speak lo… Read More
The Covid Killer
2022-12-05 01:18
​9:10amSo I’ve gotten 2 strokes in the Covid testing kit. Should’ve seen it coming. The epitome of falling sick in the comfort of your own room, and the landlord went away… Read More
I Love This Serendipity
2022-11-04 15:22
​Yes. It’s me. Back from months long of hiatus. I dread writing so much so that it drains my entire being, cautiously bitching about people and the government while subtly feedin… Read More
2022-08-14 12:42
Such amazing "friend" of mine. Charging $6.50 for a sample size yogurt that I ate. How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child, and I even  bought chat… Read More
2022-06-28 10:46
I want them to love me. Only it never seems to work out, does it?. So why do you keep running headfirst into the same brick wall?. It's because, deep down, there's a part of you that is stil… Read More
2022-05-30 07:30
3:26pmDo you belive that human beings can change for the better? The sobriety feeling of absence can change the course of one's future. For better or lack of the worst. Though I've never com… Read More
2022-04-04 15:03
I lost my way around this area today. Took the bus as instructed by low accuracy maps and alighted at the wrong station, only to walk 2 streets back under this scorching heat. Managed to wig… Read More
2022-03-22 15:47
 10:51 pmI supposed these are the two crucial weeks in my life where I race against the clock to complete a number of objectives. Perhaps they are important because they are going to mo… Read More
Angry Bites
2022-03-18 17:09
19/3/22It's been an unforgivable year. So far. 3 months into living high on blood pressure and increased cortisol levels from straining bloodline. I can't recall how anger mindlessly dominat… Read More
2021-09-24 11:21
7:03 am I know not why I am so sad and passive. A lack of direction, as my impenetrable mind struggles to distinguish reality. Once again, despite in its waiting room. Patience wearing… Read More
2021-07-18 07:30
It's strange isn't itNo matter how well you hide Someone, somewhere, somewhat knows everything about you. Your hidden aggressions, DesiresLikes and dislikes, pains and jo… Read More
Big Bad Wolf
2021-06-03 15:20
Mercury Retrograde:In a moment's breath I stopped frozen besideA still frame of you in the open skyAnd I fell into a brief dream and I'm lostin the atmosphereI found that death breeds hell a… Read More
Point Blank, Period.
2021-05-20 12:54
How earth rotates and life moves pastime.How people are formidable, frightening yet unevil.How mind's perceptions assume the negativity.How people formidably defend themselves even when… Read More
2021-05-16 08:55
 Even in the darkest time, the beacon still shines. Therefore I hope.The stars will guide me home.  Read More
2021-04-11 09:43
All lovers find their way homeWhere is my other soul?Perished into the ocean?Or still lost in otherland.Yearning for peaceWith battles to procureMy TwinDespite the distance and ambivalenceWh… Read More
2021-03-21 13:41
 9:09 pmGlaring at overcast skies, thunderclouds threw a little fit before it drizzled. Fancy me thinks that staring at the sky could resolve my never-ending battles. Muttering to… Read More
I Want To
2021-03-17 16:11
 11:53 pm/I want to restart.ButI'm running out of timeConstantly out of sightUndecidedly out of movesIntrinsically out of storiesForcibly out of touch.But I want to restart. … Read More
2021-03-11 08:22
333As I assembled my thoughts and attempted to paint them into a solid piece. I'd always wondered, am I even capable of loving someone or might I be afraid of losing oneself in the range of… Read More
2021-03-05 08:38
 2:13 amGuilty. Because I knew at the moment we met, you were exceedingly lost in this universe. Guilty, because I knew you were already aiming for the fastest way out without properly… Read More
A Heavy Price
2021-02-25 19:07
 1:59 amTime flies in split seconds. Coral waves of sea failing to blossom in their own unique ways. Life has its drift but I found myself drifting further away from home. Constantly pu… Read More
2021-02-15 05:16
How much pain can a person endureBefore fate intervenesPunctured guiltWounded healsSore mouth & blistering gumA severed earWith an open heart,Eager to pleasethe beast withinHeaven forbid… Read More
2021-01-15 08:26
 9:08 pmA desirous triple-digit day suitable for writing. While I attempt to squeeze my stimulated brain for some imparted juice - into words, of course. Time seemed to pass, not fast n… Read More
2020-12-31 16:29
12:00 amThe blossom of treesFresh phases of pineTouched by a love scentWarmth and cool breezeEchos of silenceSleeplessly embracing A new year ahead.An empty train of thoughts prevails i… Read More
2020-12-24 19:44
I had a 3-day trial observation at a clinic, to glimpse their working dynamics before deciding to enroll as their employee. The first day was nuts. Of unity in a single organization. I have… Read More
2020-12-02 12:06
8:04 pmThe suffocation of completing a piece of math assignment ends with a whole lot of epiphany and questioning of my existencial crisis. Staring down at the bleeding questions, I wiped my… Read More
9 Pm Nostalgia
2020-11-19 13:43
 9:30 pmIs it weird to feel energetically nostalgic when a song comes on? Sentimental at play. Imagining drives at this given hour into the city exploring night life. Oddly missing late… Read More
No. 23
2020-11-19 13:07
 2:25 amIsn't it funny? Dreams we once had crashed under a beacon of light. Divine interventions are no fun to be messed with. The saddest part of all is knowing things turn out sour in… Read More
Kill The Noise
2020-11-06 17:39
Have you ever wonder exactly how many versions of you existed in this world? Perhaps my guts were heavily despised by others. Or that someone actually left a good word for me out there durin… Read More
Tasteless Flakey Crumbs
2020-10-09 05:00
 This irony of a fake world we live in, where everyone just craves for affection. The people I've been interacting with prey on the continuous appreciation that they do whatever it take… Read More
Bubble Slayer
2020-09-30 15:03
11 pmSkimming through the pages of my long-winded posts. Got myself wondering when was the last time I ever wrote something worth putting a smile for. This blog, as isolated and impulsive as… Read More
This Midnight Feels
2020-09-17 15:47
The constant uncontrollable urge to start over somewhere somewhat is undeniably strong. Where people know not of my identity, but my appearance for a shape-shifting creature who maneuvers ar… Read More
This Is Us Colliding
2020-09-11 16:58
The palpitation of my core reverberating with major sorrow.This bold ignited flame of ours melted right through the core.Together we stood tall, together we fought a war.This side of mine is… Read More
2020-09-08 03:37
It's amusing how the title plays an important role in introducing my non-existent readers to my published post. No, I am not leaving the earth to Heaven (hell* cough*). Cue  Stairway to… Read More
2020-09-05 15:19
The dismissal of one's emotion. Betrayal. Words of affirmation pour like a fakery taste of champagne bottle. How I should've known to keep my distance from the start. To determine the differ… Read More
2020-07-23 06:57
2:19 pmI have no idea why but I do think about her... a lot. While here I am, juggling between completing an expected assignment and studying for a failed subject with my second cup of coffe… Read More
Muddy Monk
2020-07-07 17:05
10:24 pmA little update on my con-current connotation. A formidable temper that leads to massive destruction of the mind. I've finally emerged from my anti-social regime and venture forth, b… Read More
2020-06-28 17:10
"Little dee on a tiptoeWith a little yellow lassoWrapped around her neckShe tryna run from her worldBut the shadow won't let goNo wonder a woman like youGiven time and a broken heart tooCan… Read More
2020-06-11 12:29
8 pmI declared an early break today, perhaps from the desiccated room with every painful breath. Wearing a mask is mainstream now I reckon, people no longer socialize as much as before and t… Read More
I Need A Shrink
2020-05-17 14:00
2:00 amThe title sounded serious, but I can assure my non-existent readers that it's nothing of sorts. I was skirmishing through files from my phone for space clearance when I found out a pi… Read More
It Is For The Better.
2020-05-07 13:25
6:00 pmI envisioned a lovely tiny house with a backyard with kiddie pool and purple trees. I picture myself providing all the love and affection to my kids. I neglect and have been neglected… Read More
A Moment Apart
2020-05-05 18:27
2:10 amHands locked in aweWhile on our knees and vowsI need not dread When we begin sex. A promise ought to be madeShe protect till my last breathCommunication competes Patien… Read More
2020-04-15 06:14
10 pmOn bleak days where skies bledI know not why I'm so sad.So I ask God to drop by for a chatWith every tear that I shedI questioned my ability to be ledFor I know with every inch of me th… Read More
The Formula Of Humanity
2020-03-31 15:19
10:30 pmYoung children are like little tyrants. They struggle to conceive of anything in life beyond what is immediately pleasurable or painful for them at any given moment. They cannot feel… Read More
2020-03-14 16:38
11 pmDay 1:The bustling streets of a compressed alley which reeked of rat poop and sewage water. Perhaps I've made the finest decision of wearing my blackened chunky shoes with me during thi… Read More
The Heartbreak Song
2020-02-23 04:42
10:59amThe best heartbreak song isn't one with strong lyrics or powerful vocals that have the tendency to sweep listeners off their feet. Neither it is a sad mellow with soft piano tunes tha… Read More
The Ensemble Plays In My Head
2020-02-16 17:19
12:08 amThe midnight introspection of Jennifer's overall existence.Well, technically still alive. Just a lot lesser than the previous 21 years of my being. Conceivably, my thick unkempt hair… Read More
2020-02-07 16:32
7:30pmSelf-reflections are a constant never-ending battle between trying to get my point across verses trying to make people understand my point of view. Perhaps a long solitude does its job… Read More
2020-02-05 17:58
1:55amShe is an extremely caring woman and a self-driven passionate hardworker. She shows her love and concern in a way many people could not fulfil. She's generous and she takes great care… Read More
Seeking Serendipity Through A Storm
2020-01-15 13:54
9:44pmThese days, I've been pondering over things. Or rather, attempting to declutter whatever stuff that is going through my mind. Sometimes thoughts overlap and shift back and forth which… Read More
2020-01-09 13:50
Hyperventilating because my school work has finally spiraled into a pool of uncleanable mess. So much so that I'm many assignment weeks due and most of themThis unsalvagable mess of mine, wh… Read More
2019-12-30 17:40
1am"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull dayFritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home townWaiting for someone or something to sho… Read More
She's A Rainbow.
2019-12-22 08:29
3:08pmEvery little hope I haveAnd every reason I could findDespite running out of excusesTo defend the delicate heart of yours.//They spoke to meLike devils.And it works.They won.I want to c… Read More
Heal Me
2019-12-17 16:40
9:58amThere is a gift in every wounda blessing in every crisis,a light in every darkness,love in every emotion,a silver lining on every cloud,a lesson in every experience,a service in every… Read More
2019-12-11 14:32
10:10Christmas. I no longer hear chimes and bells and chatter of the chimney . But this woman sits all day facing four walls of an office under this cold descending weather. Sometimes lonely… Read More
2019-12-06 15:19
Oh Oh you see it's meI am home nowHold me in your armsClose to your heartFeeling so oldI have been yoursFor all this timeLet me into your heartPut your hand in mineLet's get lost tonigh… Read More
2019-12-01 15:45
In every world of chaos and monstrosityThere's peace and order established Far beneath theeEverything acquires balance That's why life renders Completely justifiable and… Read More
This Storm Feels Like Me
2019-11-20 16:24
11:11 pmWill you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?Will you still love me when I've become all scars and bones… Read More
2019-11-17 16:17
15.11.2019Pre-flight: Well ransacking every travel essentials I could think of at that point in time.  And nobody at home greeted me with a birthday wish. Not that it matters, but birth… Read More
Sackcloth And Ashes
2019-11-10 14:26
9:53pmEverything was fine.I was holding up fairly well.Till dawn.When angels retreat to nirvana.And devils rose from its Sodom. Everything breaks apart.That's when I realizeHow painful… Read More
2019-11-07 18:47
I swear I was in love with you But sometimes words don't work the way we wished they would My friends said that you said that you rearranged me I wonder did I have the same effect on you Wor… Read More
All Hope Is Lost And All Lost Is Hope.
2019-11-06 06:12
The absolution of one's insanity.Ever so surreal and intangibleDerealization, the act of being desensitized to one's surroundings.I lost my sentimental rights. I lost everything.Could someon… Read More
Je Déteste L'humanité
2019-11-05 03:47
11:11amAfter everything I've done for you, sticking up and standing by your side through thick and thin. Despite roaring waves or difficult days, ask God, and he'll help me say. After e… Read More
Sex, Death And Pain
2019-10-30 17:07
12:03amWell, well. Things have changed over the years and I've sort of grown to become a more responsible individual... I think? The old version of me, as you scurried through my former post… Read More
2019-08-25 16:29
12:22amPlease calm my raging mindWhen I crave for peaceAnd longed for a sense of belongingIn this cruel hard world Read More
2019-08-22 07:54
12:38pmAll men and women, he warns, play host to scores if not hundreds of different parasitic identities, each with its blinkered repertoire of behavior. A snub, a flattering letter, a no-s… Read More
2019-07-29 02:20
10:10It is good to experience a breakdown once in a while because that is how we restart after shedding those burdening tears, we feel enlightened and generally better than before.But...It i… Read More
2019-06-02 17:54
1:37amI have lost so many crucial people in my life darling it doesn't hurt anymore.I went to the doctor to get my mental health checked.All she sees was pure emptinessAnd nothing major.So I… Read More
I'll Tell You What Fear Is.
2019-04-22 17:48
12:55amI hate this feeling. It is 1 am and I'm supposed to be in bed aiding myself to sleep. Yet no matter how alarming my meditation soundtrack prevails or how smoothing my plants swayed lu… Read More
2019-04-15 16:13
12:16 amMisophonia. Categorized as someone who is hypersensitive to certain sounds like loud chewing, lip-smacking, pen tapping and last but not least, keyboard typing. Fucking hell. My ears… Read More
The Universe
2019-03-30 12:30
2:26pmA universe is a magical place. See upon my death, the last thing I want to see isn't my possibly weeping family. They say that death is a beautiful ending. Of course, it doesn't always… Read More
2019-03-14 18:28
1:34amThe hardest part of letting go is forgiving every incident that has ever happened to me. Of course, they say the best way to move forward is to forgive and never forget.But.How am I su… Read More
2019-03-11 18:29
3:48amIt's been long and excruciating. Though I might have enough time, my thoughts weren't processing the way it is. It's beyond messy and grueling, my mind is currently a blank canvas, att… Read More
Post CNY Thoughts
2019-02-12 20:23
2:34amOnce again, I'm staying away until late. Pondering over this blank sheet of notepad as I struggle to recall what happened during the month. In split second, Chinese New Year no longer… Read More
2019-01-28 14:20
9:25pmDo you ever get the feeling that life struck you as nothing but unfairness and biases? But upon self-reflection and evaluation, you realize that the problem does not lie with society… Read More
Contemplation Of A Midnight Flight
2019-01-26 19:31
2:53amIt's been almost a week since I came back from my first solo trip of the year. That is en route to Taipei via Osaka. I booked a midnight Jetstar flight and surprisingly there were not… Read More
2019-01-21 17:27
Well... This is late. But I probably didn't want to waste another year again like I did for all the previous years. I wrote down resolutions and made a promise that I have to be willing to c… Read More
2018-12-31 13:09
8:44pmTimes like this I just wish it was just a dream. That whatever thing I've dreamt of stays in the dream and never come true. He's back after spending 6 months abroad, which is no big de… Read More
Fear The Wicked One
2018-12-27 18:51
2:27amAbout time to start another impetuous post. The year is ending in a swift and I honestly have no idea what to look upon anymore. Yet it is boring to start off every single post with ho… Read More
2018-12-15 19:20
2:39amCurrently lying on the bed staring at the ceiling for a solid 20 minutes while listening closely to every word sung by Jose Gonzalez.Not happy.I'm dull and eager to break through… Read More
2018-11-10 18:57
1:27amIt's been a week since I last had an actual conversation with my mom and the sad truth is; I have no clue as to how the drama came about. To the best of my knowledge, it started off wi… Read More
2018-11-05 16:29
11:33pmI reckon that I had the most gruesome and bone-wearying week of all time. Literally, my head's full of thoughtless motivations and my neck cracks hard each time I rotate. They say it'… Read More
The Best Of Hong Kong (Part 1)
2018-10-22 16:50
5:19pmIt's been quite a while since I've got the motivation to write another seemingly boring post. Life after Hong Kong pretty much stayed exactly the same, except that I've become gru… Read More
3 Hours Of Hard Work
2018-10-02 10:04
Today,it's no bingeing and purging day,basically just to revive my digestive system and gag reflex,from the hard days...Urgh!The feeling of no eating is crappy,but I'm happy to stop myself f… Read More
2018-10-01 07:49
1:08amThree months of probation passed simply in a nifty. In a nutshell, I can't recall any informativeTo them, I might be just a self-adhesive tape peeling off one's patience little by litt… Read More
2018-09-23 17:07
9:48pmWas just arguing with mom over a petty feud involving money. As far as I've known, I'm a money-minded individual who scorns with any transactions that go missing or lack thereof. In sh… Read More

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