It Doesn’t Matter.
Hi. I’m Yash, an introvert. Not that I fancy calling myself that or it’s the new cool trend for saying I hate you, but it just means that I’m a little bit different than more than 80% of the world. And it’s good. Read about it…
Well, it doesn’t matter.
Sometimes when I try meeting new people, I’ve found talking a little awkward. One, I am blank about everything even though inside my mind is busy making decisions like “this person is successful” or “his shoes are trendy and new, he must be from a well-to-do family” or “such a sweet voice! I wish I could talk for hours!” but usually I’m out of ideas worthy enough to be spoken. I feel a rush of emotions when I talk to someone special even though I may be a “nobody” in their life. I treat everyone as special. Everyone deserves happiness.
I don’t ever understand life. I don’t understand people. I don’t understand why things happen how they happen. When science has an answer to these questions, I would still not bother.
Nobody teaches me how to talk. Nobody teaches me how to live. Nobody teaches me how to be happy. I’m an abnormally negative person if you ask me. Satisfaction? Never heard of it. Success? Don’t care.
Well, it doesn’t matter.
Inside my head I’m the most lovable person for myself, outside I believe I’m the happiest person in the world, even though it never shows. I’m a needy person. I’m poor-both emotionally and mentally. I may get the best of treatment from the world, I may deserve the best of lives, but it’s never enough.
Happiness? It’s a myth. I live in happiness for a million reasons, some very stupid to be invalid yet I’m so negative about things that I regret doing most of what I do or say. Low self-confidence.
Yet, it doesn’t matter. I love myself, and if you’re reading this, I love you. I can’t pretend to be someone else yet I’m the biggest lie in your life. I am an illusion, a hypocrite and I would never know which side of me is the better one.
People call me inherently good. They show that I’m good; they believe that I’m good; I believe that I’m good. What’s wrong in that? It’s never enough to me.
Accepting myself? I do that everyday, every second of my life. I accept everything I do, I accept everything that happens to me, even the bad things, because I know I can better myself, I can better the world.
Oh, it doesn’t matter.
When I say I don’t care about the world, I sincerely care about everything, everyone; every event, every moment, every happiness, every smile.
When people judge me and even when they don’t I feel insecure. Yet I’m a talkative and free person when with company.
It doesn’t matter.
What matters is that I am a life worthy enough to change the world, spread a smile, wipe a tear, do an unconditional favour, help a stranger someone, change a misguided life and make people happy.
“Does it happen?”
-Not the right question.
“Can it happen?”
-It can.
“Will it happen?”
-It will.
Why should it happen? Who do I care? Why do I want to be taken advantage of, and be forgotten for the rest of their lives?
-It’s because it’s like it. The world is like that.
Will I stop?
-Why should I?
Isn’t it useless?
-It doesn’t matter.
It just doesn’t matter.
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This post was written by Yashraj Talan
Yashraj Talan is a teen who loves to write and express himself! Loves technology, philosophy, psychology, music and the beauty of life.
