Before the moon appears so big and bright, she has the power to guide you. During the day when our emotions are felt a little less, the sun is shining above our heads. The warmth it provides is unmatched, it’s like coming home to yourself. When that time to punch out happens, you get into your car and go to your special spot: mine has always been the Beach close to my house. There I can let loose and really connect with mature and myself, and chase the sunsets. This isn’t something that I started doing as an adult, it started when I was a young girl, running up the coast of the beach, laughing without a care in the world. The sea spray hitting my face as my Mom swung me around. The beach has always felt like home to me.
When you become an adult, you have a lot less time to sit in your thoughts. The responsibilities, like work and family take over and we forget the small things, we enjoyed so much. There are days when you look out the window and say to yourself , I wish I had more time. Time is a virtue, and we always think we have an unlimited supply, when in fact it’s the opposite. We make allowances for little spurts of time, but even that takes up so much energy, when it’s limited. You have to learn to process the emotions that come with this, whether they be negative or positive. Personally as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to carve out some time to enjoy the simple things, to regroup myself.
Recently I’ve learned not to chase things or people anymore, what is meant to be in my life will be. Changing my major in school and going back to what I love, was a part of this. I think I’ve been forcing myself to do something that I know, in the end won’t truly benefit me. I did this because I thought that it would make me more marketable…when in fact it was helping me burn out all the more quickly. Since then I’ve taken on 2 additional mentors, who are helping me on the path to success, specific to what I’m currently doing. Without them, I feel the spiral of further losing myself would continue.
Being the “face” of several different aspects of my life, is a catch 22. I am sometimes expected to be this ball of positivity, which for the most part I am. There is that time when I feel overwhelmed and become distant, like I am currently. I’m going through a very tough season of life, where certain parts of my life are evolving. If this didn’t happen, I don’t think I would have made changes to my future, I no longer feel the need to look at the past for reassurance. Every relationship in my life, has lead up to this moment. A career change is on the horizon, and I couldn’t be more proud of myself, and the progress I’ve made to get there. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was Taaureane.
As I sit in front of my computer screen, listening to the lectures of my teacher, I reflect on this: last year at this time I was so unhappy, this year is a vast improvement. What I seek in life is also seeking me, and while nothing is truly promised, there is a gateway to the path I continue on. This summer, pandemic or not, I will be a fixture at the beach. With my fav sweatshirt and hat, as the breeze hits the sand I will be waiting for the perfect moment. The colors of sky change to a beautiful kaleidoscope, the weight of my feet carrying me, I’m chasing my sunsets.
Some of the sunsets I’ve already chased ✨