Sometimes I think back to what it was like. The phone calls, the screams, the fear in my throat wondering what the person ringing me was talking about. The fear of betraying someone and doing it anyway. The Dr. visits with hands gripping each other tightly. Being slumped zombie-like over the couch. The sad goodbye song. The checking the tablets, the wrong advice, the tears, the panic, the paramedics, heart racing, passing out, red eyes, yellow skin, wobbly stance, terrified eyes, bottles in the car, the water bottle, behind the loo, slurry words to the kids, a smell of death? Zombie at night but seemed fine to outsiders, phone calls to helplines, nearly choking but not caring.

I remember it all……memories stuck in my heart like splinters, courtesy of Alcohol.

Thanks for the fun and games alcohol but you can kiss my a$$.

Too much Vodka under the bridge.

Tonight this is why I’m drinking AF wine with cherry sparkling water in my wine glass and munching on loads of chilli tortilla chips instead of drinking wine.

I’ve seen what alcohol can do and there’s no fun about it. It’s pretty terrifying and haunting.

The alcohol industry wouldn’t dare show the real faces of their best customers to advertise their products. Showing the longing in the eyes, the eager hands,  the relief as they pour the first drink and the passing out on the sofa when they’ve “enjoyed” the product a bit too much. You get the picture.  I don’t think it would sell many bottles,  the true face of alcohol,  the addiction is what everyone wants to ignore.

They want to say it’s not the young couple where one partner drinks, the other coping with the children, social services supervising visits because of the drinker, the drinker having to leave the family home for a while, the kids upset and not understanding etc etc.

Surely vodka can’t provide all that, it’s just a fun party drink to get a buzz from….isn’t it?

It’s not the broken relationship,  the forgotten family dreams, the lack of affection, the severed trust, the affair…..wine is just a friend after a hard day right…..the truth isn’t a picture of broken hearts and ruined relationships is it?

Perhaps the ad industry might use the real faces of alcohol and what it really gives us if/ when they start to sell alcohol free drinks more and more instead.

Hey did you know you can drink to your heart’s content,  be sociable,  have an amazing time with friends and not wreck your relationship or risk crashing your car at the end of it? Yeah just choose alcohol free xyz and see for yourself.  Be smart n sober…..see where you’ve been missing out!

Or

Why choose a morphine drip for your life, get out there and live it instead…..you’ve been missing out……Alcohol Free…..freedom from the bottle

I’ll wait……

This post was written by Floss, author of  The Puppeteer and other poetic musings on living alcohol-free

More by this author :

Finding Balance at 6 Months Sober

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