Lately I have been thinking about life and all of these expectations that we place either on ourselves or by others. Most of what we do in life is connected to the idea that we are doing what is expected and follow through to avoid the disappointment if we don't. You are expected to get married, settle down and start said family by a date line created somewhere above. Internal clocks begin to tick, town folk began to wonder if you are gay, and Grandma just cant believe you haven't found the right girl.
The giant rule book of "must do" is started young. First there is the simple stuff. "Please" ... "No Sir... " yes ma'am". All common well to do polite etiquette that is taught quickly and reprimanded if missed . As we grow, so do the standard bench marks we are intended to hit. They all quickly pile up in quick like fashion to ensure you will in fact become a well to do adult. At some point, the expectations lead you down path of a mistake and missed judgments. You had to do it because it is what was expected
My life has been spent deciding what predictions and projections I was going to defy or try and live by. Like my shoes, I like the unexpected and unique. Whenever I have made a mistake it was most commonly caused by loosing sight of the path, being too scared to travel it or the one I felt pressured into taking. Sure I still made mistakes down the road of what I wanted to do but the effects are less painful when you know its what you wanted to do.
The society forecasting syndrome is hindering the idea of trying something new. Only recently have I begun to notice a slight shift away from the need to be a college graduate in order to be somehow financially successful. I can recall a time during my high school senior year where you couldn't say you were not headed to college as it might be viewed as something lesser than. Sure, success can look different in your pocket when that diploma is set to the wall but there are tons of people living their best life without. I felt like there was no other choice but to attend, loathed every second of it and soon enough drifted away. Expectation, defied.
We could connect a tight cord like rope from expectations to miscalculation . With any new relationship, you enter with the highest of assurances that he or she will live up to these absurd ideas of perfection. The white knight that has to do somersaults from the top of balance beam in order to be the "one". You expect perfection and are disappointed when they don't live up to the hype. I too, have fell in love with fantasies only to be sadden to see flaws, mistakes and heaven forbid.... a human standing behind the cloak. Many men have come and gone because they showed too many potholes and failed to meet my expectations. (side note, I have dated men with actual potholes, Noxzema goes a long way fellas) .
At 30 something, I now understand my desire to not pay attention to what I am supposed to do. From career to relationship, to style and body size. I want to do whatever I want to do , and enjoy any old path I take to get there. I am bold enough to type it, say it , and post it for the world to see. If you can find a place to free yourself from the handcuffs that are holding you to the floor of what is expected the real fun begins. It doesn't mean its all figured out or that any dips in the mistake valley still don't happen, it just means it was your mistake to make and no projection to miss.