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In a country where you are judged no matter what you do, it is quite difficult coming out with your problems or even trying to seek help for it. Unless you can properly explain what is wrong with you, nobody is bothered to find out on your behalf.
But somethings are a bit difficult to explain and it takes being one to know what it truly feels like.
First of all, we should know the basics of what we are talking about.
Bipolar Disorder is a disorder associated with episodes of mood swings ranging from depressive lows to manic highs.
There are also several types of Bipolar Disorder, differentiated based on the degree of the level of episodes of mania and depression.
The two main types are Bipolar I and Bipolar II.
Bipolar II is a milder form, which means milder episodes of hypomania.
Hypomania is a less severe form of mania.
Other types include;
Cyclothymic disorder - Brief periods of hypomanic symptoms and brief periods of depressive symptoms.
Mixed features - Occurrence of simultaneous symptoms of opposite mood polarities during manic, hypomanic or depressive episodes. 
Rapid cycling - It describes having four or more mood episodes within a 12 - month period which last for some minimum number of days.

Bipolar disorder isn't just being moody or emotional. It is a serious mental illness that affects a person's daily activities.
  • It means I have zero control over my mood most of the time. No matter how hard I try to control it, it always wins.
  •  It is going 2 weeks straight feeling like a goddess who can do no wrong, spending recklessly and making 'brave' decisions and then suddenly remembering all your flaws and every little mistake you've ever made, reprimanding yourself for spending foolishly or making that 'brave' decision.
  •  It is going from "I want to hug everyone and spread love and happiness." to "I'll kill the person that so much as touches my finger."
  • Very few people will understand how it feels, when all you want is to be alone, no talking or touching but you're surrounded by people who, to you, seem unnaturally and unnecessarily happy. 
  • It is enjoying 8 hours of sleep for a couple of days and then struggling for 2 hours of sleep for the next few days but somehow still finding the ability to survive the day.
  • It is having more than one person in your head and gambling to get one person out.
Bipolar is all these and more.

But being bipolar definitely doesn't make me a monster or mean you have to be gentle around me.
Yes, it might be frustrating dealing with a person when you never know who you'll meet. And it might be tough not knowing if what you say will trigger them. But it definitely isn't all bad.
It is a hassle that people living with it have to go through every day. It is no easier for me, not knowing what will trigger me today. But having people judging definitely isn't going to make it better. 

Bipolar disorder is a journey that could last a lifetime. But it is livable if you are surrounded by the right people. People who are willing to understand from your perspective and will not judge you.


By Farida Umar

About me
Amateur writer
Industrial chemist in the making
Proud feminist and  weirdo

Contact me
Contact: 08020623278
Ig handle: Faridizzle
Twitter: Faridizzle_
Mail: [email protected]

This post first appeared on My Woven Words, please read the originial post: here

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