When it comes to direction, it would be simplest to say I have none. Four months ago my mom told me I should go into the military because she sees me “floundering”. I Confess, I’m a fish out of water.
Telling myself that “it’s okay to not know what you’re doing” has been working sufficiently, but others I grew up with are starting to graduate college. Now it’s beginning to not be okay in my eyes, apparently my mom’s either.
In a way, I feel like I’ve stepped in quick sand and my head is in the ground, hands scrambling to grab onto anything. I’m falling behind.
I don’t want to let my Family down. I don’t want to be the kid that family friends ask about to see if they’re still lost in the world.
At the end of the day, the first thing I can do for myself is show up and be seen, without apology. This is who I am.
I am finally committed to my education after three and a half years of non-stop partying; and to me, that’s all that matters. If not for myself, then who? Everyone has their own path. This is mine.
I’m not where I should be,
but I’m finally starting to do what I love.
And in the process,
I’m beginning to love myself.
I’m beginning to enjoy the journey of finding
who I’m meant to be.
via Daily Prompt: Confess