Friends are very important feature in our lives, every day we spend time with our friends and interact with them either on social media or Face to Face meetings. Some persons don’t have friends at all or have little and those friends don’t cherish them, it’s very heart breaking to note that the solutions to these problem has been sorted out a long time ago but it still doesn’t find a complete solution.
This blog post will help you to make GOOD friends the ones that cherish you as you do as well. But finding these friends may be intimidating sometimes but the rewards are too good to miss, but before we sort out the tips it’s important for you to know that there are 3 types of friends
1. Hi-bye Friends: These are the types of friends also known as Acquaintances; they are the ones you see at school or work, because where you are calls for it. You say Hi when you see each other and you say bye at the end of the day. When you leave that place the relationship dies down after you stop seeing each other or you leave the place that brings you together. The relationship never lasts after that removal of the context. I.e. when you graduate or leave work.
2. Regular Friends: When social activities pops up you meet up every now and then they could be nicked named social buddies. You guys may talk about general topics under the sun or in your own home.
3. True Soul Friends: A.K.A Best friends. They are your true buddies; you can talk to them about anything. You may not meet every day but that doesn’t matter as the strength of the friendship is not determined by the frequency of meeting, rather it’s more than that. You can trust them to be there for you when you need help and they will go extra mile for you
Most of us want to make Regular friends and if possible True soul Friends, we may have a lot of Hi- bye friends but we can turn those hi bye friends to true friends as we always wanted. Below are the tips on how to do that or probably make new ones.
1. Realize your Fear is In Your head.
The First thing to do is to imagine you meeting new people in another perspective. Some of us see meeting new people as a scary thing. We are usually more concerned about making a good impression to make sure the person will like us, how we can keep the conversation going and interesting. But if you think more about it, it becomes scarier. If we are shy towards others it’s because of fear.
But the truth is while you are worried about the impression you will make they too are worried about the impression they will make as well; they are just as scared as you are.
2. Start Small with people you know:
If you don’t socialize that much then meeting new persons will be intimidating. If that is the case why not you try starting small maybe with people you know people you are familiar with and are around your circle of friends.
There are ways of doing that:
(a) Reach out Acquaintances
(b) See if there are groups you can join
(c) Get to know your Friend’s friends
(d) Accept invitations to go out.
3. Get yourself out there:
Once you have acquainted yourself with people you know then you should take a next step which is to extend yourself to people you don’t know As step one said it would be intimidating since you have that fear inside of you but following suggestions could help in this regard.
(a) Join Meet up groups. E.g.: Meet up
(b) Attend workshop/courses
(d) Go to Parties
(e) Visit Bars and clubs
(f) Online Communities
4. Take the First step:
Once you are out there with the people around you, someone has to make the first move. If the other party doesn’t be the one to start up the conversation, get to know each other well. Tell the person something about yourself and then allow the other person to share his own experience. You could ask how good their day has been or what they did today or throughout their weekend. With that you can make it easier to connect.
5. Be Open :
Sometimes we have a pre notion of the kind of friends you need, maybe someone who has interest in the same movie as you or has the same educational background as you do. But when you meet someone and that person’s background or view differs from yours or your expectations don’t just back off.
Give the friendship a chance to blossom, give both yourself and your new friend a chance to become good friends putting your differences behind. With this you have to be opened minded to your friend open your heart to him or her, this involves trusting your new friend and have faith that they can be of good help to you.
6. Get to know the person:
A friendship is all about you and your friend. You should know the person as an individual by asking some of the following questions.
(a) What does he/she do?
(b) What are his/her hobbies
(c) What are his/her Priorities or Goals
(d) What are his/her Values
(e) What Motivates or drives him/her
7. Be Yourself.
Don’t change yourself or who you are to make new friends. That’s not an option at all. But why?
If you want to make friends by been vocal and you’re real self is an introverted or quiet person. It could be great at first with these guys but remember the friendship was established knowing you as an extrovert and that means…..
(a) You continue been vocal as your new friend knows you to be, in the long run it will be hard to keep doing this OR
(b) You will change back to been introverted, this would cause your friends to feel cheated because they didn’t befriend an Introvert…. And gradually you will see them pulling away.
So you see either ways it won’t work out so just be you’re self
8. Be there for them:
A friendship is also a supportive union between 2 persons, when your friend needs you be there to support and help them and when you do this don’t do it with the intention of getting help from them next time, rather no matter the situation be ready to help. You have to give because you want to and not because you are obliged to, helping others and knowing they are better now are of greater reward than what you get in return.
9. Make the Effort to Stay in Touch:
At the end of the day, continual effort is needed in order to maintain your friendship. We should make efforts to discuss regularly despite distance and that’s what differentiates Hi-bye Friends from Best Friends. The strength of the friendship is not determined by the frequency of your meeting rather it depends on your attitude to one another.
You could chat online or make phone calls if distance put you apart, with Technology you can stay in touch any time.
I honestly and sincerely hope that these 9 ways will help you to find Real friends not Hi-bye Friends.
Share to Friends and Family.