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Don’t Lose Your “Cool Points” On Facebook

The great big, critical world of Facebook can be very unforgiving at times.

We love it anyway, don’t we?

We thrive on an active timeline/newsfeed of hilarious status posts, silly memes, newsworthy announcements, awesome selfies and cute babies (human and animals). We love the drama of political discourse, shady back and forth feuds and the excitement of the “In A Relationship” alerts.

New Baby

Then, every once in a while, an otherwise cool person posts something utterly ridiculous or disturbing. Sometimes, we get confused by indecipherable grammar and in some cases, some content is downright offensive. Cool points start floating out the window and that “unfriend” button gets a lot of action.

I hate when this happens because now I have to wonder if you were just pretending to be sensible all along. Now I have to unfriend or block you.


Unfriend You

It’s been roughly 13 years since Zuckerberg and others founded this master arena of life in real time for real people. We often hear the phrase “It’s just Facebook and not real life” and I wonder if we ever stop to think how completely FALSE that is.

Some of us spend a considerable amount of time online and Facebook interlinks us with family, Business, and pleasure. The answer to just about anything is found there. There are thousands of people we each know there, so by just pure math alone we know there are millions of people sharing, reading, watching, and following all day long.

So, it’s NOT just Facebook. It’s Social Media and social media is sometimes the best source to spread the word. It’s a great way to stay in contact with people also. You’re able to give them as little or as much access to you as you want. You can be solely “Facebook Friends” or you can grow stronger and broader bonds.

Let’s not downplay the influence and power of the good book.

Now, when it comes to maintaining a credible presence on Facebook, there are some things you just DON’T do and there are other things that your friends and followers would love to see you do.

I’m listing 17 based on my social circles and what expectations we have of each other. Of course, there are more, but we don’t have all day and with changing times, and evolving social media standards, the list will always be growing anyway.

So here goes:

1. DO add a real Profile Pic.

Face. Book. Operative part: Face.

Please. You are not stealthy nor mysterious when sending a Friend Request with no Profile Pic and limited information. Who wants to be Social Media “friends” with someone who has access to their profile, yet remains anonymous?

My friend Bodine Johnson said it best!


2. DON’T start arguments in Someone’s comments if you’re not ready for a Showdown.

Seriously, there is no quicker way to go from cool to classless than to start an argument that you cannot finish.

Before you respond to a comment on a post, no matter how much it disturbs you, please do a quick profile check of who you’re responding to. If you don’t know the person well, you don’t know what they’re capable of.  If you’re attempting to insult them while opposing their opinion, please also be aware that some people will retort in pursuit of ALL of your feelings.

What exactly do I mean by that? Well, they are going to break you right down to size and tear you apart with words. I’ve seen it happen. Seriously. Some people are opinionated and very defensive. Don’t get caught up in something you can’t handle. Choose your battles wisely. Stay objective when you’re opposed to something. And, sometimes, you can simply just overlook a post instead of commenting at all.

I have a lot of experience here. Then again, I’m one of those people who will first establish whether I feel someone’s negative and silly comment even warrants a response. There are also times when, unfortunately, if you outright insult me personally, I will dissect you and embarrass you.

I’m not always proud of that. It has a lot to do with my temper and my propensity to think and type very quickly.

In any event, take precautions. That’s all.

3. DO use your Best Grammar when speaking on serious topics.

When in doubt: Google It for spelling, usage, and context.

I’m not saying you have to master Language Arts and be a literary God. I’m just recommending that you be proficient enough to express yourself without looking like you didn’t make it past the Fourth Grade.

The worst ones are often those starting arguments or being controversial using the most criminal spelling ever!

Honestly, the red line means something. Most times, it means it’s just wrong. A  simple right-click could save you over and over again! 

I “not-so-subtly” at times recommend Grammarly to some people. Bloggers, writers, business people, and just about everyone who has heard of it uses it every day. It’s an app that shows you words that aren’t spelled correctly and it also offers suggestions for sentence arrangement, alternative wording, and other composition issues. 

4. DON’T Bully anyone.

There’s one thing to be an opponent in the  Facebook “Beef of the Week” and it’s totally another thing to just outright be a mean person.

If someone isn’t harming you, do NOT objectify or pick on them. Just DON’T do it,  especially if what you’re making fun of is something they can’t control like a disability or an unfortunate series of events in their lives. You may not know the details of what is causing them grief, and that could be embarrassing to them and others.

It’s often simply just NOT your business.

Don’t call someone out and blindside them just for kicks and laughs.

The only people you will appear “cool” to are people who are just as silly, immature and mean as you are!

5. DO Make Us Laugh.

I love dry humor. I applaud it. I’m good at it. It makes people laugh.

I also like silly, harmless jokes, funny memes of babies, animals and weird people dancing. 

Please DO make us laugh. Make fun of yourself. That’s even funnier. Make someone’s midday scroll during their coffee break a good one by posting things that are light-hearted and enjoyable.

Dancing Cat….LOL (I can’t stop watching this).

6. DON’T continuously add people to Page Groups and FB Messenger Chat Groups.

I know you can change your settings so that you don’t have people randomly adding you to groups that they may think you’re interested in.  Still, I’d like to keep that notification off for my “real” friends and family who actually DO know what I like and what I’m interested in.

It’s awfully annoying when people who are pushing their brands or raising some awareness continuously add you to groups that you’re clueless about and then go on a posting frenzy.

Don’t Do it. It’s better to send an invite or put it in a post and let us decide.

No one wants to pick up their phone and see hundreds of notifications about products/services or topics they have no interest in. Try not to be one of these annoying people.


7. DO share your Business Promotions.

Do let us take you seriously if you’re a Businessperson, Blogger, Artist or some other kind of “Person of Interest”. Post your work. Raise awareness. Be tactful and smart.  Ask us to share it.

Facebook is a great business tool for advertising and since you’re there already, you might as well maximize your time. Build a page for your brand. Use the advertisement and publishing features.

House of Hanna Boutique

You will get recommendations, more follows and friends along with lots more exposure.

Facebook is one of the biggest advertising business tools in the world. Check this link if you want to know more: Facebook Advertising.

8. DO share your Good News and Announcements.

Let us know when your baby is born or when you get engaged and get a big promotion! It’s motivating. It’s exciting. It’s Good News and this spreads positivity.

Do share your accomplishments and plans. It’s a wonderful way of building a support system and getting lots of feedback.

Dr. Adair Speaks

9. DON’T post pics with Questionable Backgrounds.

Listen to me. People notice everything. DON’T forget to check your background before you post that selfie of your beautiful face. Nothing ruins a great smile and the perfect lighting like the glean of a toilet bowl over your left shoulder. Nothing makes your great outfit look dismal as a dirty bedroom with an unmade bed in the background.

Please fix it. Or change your location to a tidier part of your house. Don’t distract us with unsightly things!

You can’t go wrong with a nice, clean wall!!!

10. DO Educate us from time to time.

Every once in a while, it’s refreshing to learn something from our Scholarly and knowledgeable Facebook friends. Please DO share valuable information and great “did you know” statuses.

Post links to interesting websites (like my blog 🙂 ). This appeals to your friends who are readers, researchers and information hoarders.

11. DON’T Tag People you don’t know in pics they’re not in or affiliated with.

Sigh. This is so annoying.

Please, save us from thousands of comments in our notifications about something that has nothing to do with us.

Many find it obnoxious and annoying and will immediately change their settings to block that action. Then again, some people want their tagging options open for those who want to tag them in actual pictures of them. So, they may just block you!

Just don’t do it. It comes across as Spam sometimes and we know how we feel about Spam.

12. DON’T post every plate of food and beverage unless you’re a Chef and a Recipe is attached.

Well, the first time I posted about people who post everything they eat, someone got very personal with me and posted something very insulting.  It really wasn’t warranted considering I wasn’t referring to them, but I guess I stepped on a few toes.


I’m talking about those people who will post everything from a bowl of cereal to a five-star meal. And, they do it every single day.

Your Facebook friends like variety. Yes, we know that eating is not your whole life. Still, it’s kind of monotonous and boring after a while. An alternative would be to find a group of Gastrotourists or Gastromaniacs who actually want to know your daily meal plan.

Now, on the other hand, if you’re a Chef, please DO post your food pics and recipes (falls under the category of posting your work).

We DO love that!!!

My friend Chef Simeon Hall Jr. does an excellent job at introducing his blog, recipes, and appearances through his Facebook page.

13. DON’T post Dead Bodies and other Sensitive Material.

DON’T be a jerk and post graphic pictures and videos of crime scenes and accidents. Don’t post photos that can ignite grief, scandal, and violence. Don’t hurt people unnecessarily.

There’s always a chance that someone who doesn’t know their family member has been hurt or killed will scroll through Facebook and see the photos there. One of their children might see it.

Facebook has reporting options for people like this.

Personally, I’ve reported people for just being jerks in general, so this would be a guarantee for me.

14. DO post your classy, dressed up, glamor pics. We love them!

On Facebook, we live for Fashion and Style!

Most of us don’t dress up in ball gowns with all the glitz every day, so please DO post when you do! We want to be excited about where you’re going and what you’re doing too.

We also love professional photos. It’s great publicity and promotion for photographers. Please post them!!!

Jeff Major Photography.

15. DON’T be a creep, stalker, pervert, or annoying FB Messenger Fiend.

Now this one is especially for the men (even though I’m sure there are some crazy women out there too).

Please, please, please DON’T “hit on” women on Facebook Messenger. We don’t like it. If you don’t have enough charisma to broach a sensible conversation, please don’t expose us to your “whack” or creepy pickup lines.  DON’T do it, please. What’s worse is when there are back to back messages of dry, tasteless come-on lines using bad grammar. They remind us of seedy nightclubs and bad-breath. 

Also, DON’T stalk us under our pics with lewd and lusty comments that give off the vibe to others who can see them that we are that familiar. No. No. No. 

And, please DON’T send pictures of your private parts or video clips of you “having your way” with yourself to our inboxes. DON’T ask us to send you pictures. In fact, if you’re into that, please log off Facebook and try Pornhub or some other pervy activity-related site.

I almost cried when it happened to me. It was first thing in the morning when I checked my messages and there it was. Ungroomed and flaccid in a vibrant video. Breakfast was out of the question that day. There is nothing more disarming than being visually attacked at 8:00 am by unwarranted and unwanted genitalia in your messages.

I don’t even want to talk about it anymore.

Just please, DON’T be a creep.  No sensible person deserves, likes, or is on Facebook looking for that kind of attention.

16. DO post motivational statuses and messages for time to time.

These are good, especially first thing in the morning. If you’re feeling good and off to a good start, share it with us. You never know who you’re cheering up.

DO post beautiful scenery, people and moments! We like wholesomeness despite our sarcastic day to day lives. 

We like “good stuff”. 

Ramona's Beautiful Garden

17. Don’t Post Your Personal Business On Facebook and then say People are Nosey.

Ok, Ladies, you are usually the guilty, injured party. 

DON’T post about you and your perfect man complete with all the tagged pictures of your “love journey” one day and then go on a rant about the messy back and forth discourse when you break up the next. 

Just don’t do it because the minute someone says something about it; you’re going to attack them about “getting in your business.”

Honey, you took us on this journey, don’t get mad when we start asking for updates! 

On a serious note, some things don’t belong on Facebook like family crises (sibling wars), personal business matters like divorces,  and dysfunctional relationships. We all have them, but we all don’t need to bring the world into our homes over the internet for everything. It gets exhausting. It makes me want to go back weeks to someone’s post of a dancing cat wearing sunglasses.

At the end of the day, we are all going to flock to Facebook for all the latest and trending stuff. Let’s all try to keep our cool points and not offend each other with poor taste, idiocy and violent grammar crimes.

The standard “Dont’s” will continue to pop up in our newsfeeds.  We will overlook them once or twice until we realize that some people aren’t getting the swing of things.

Well, I sure hope they read this in private and commit to some better “Facebooking”.

I can hope, right?


— Tuesday

The post Don’t Lose Your “Cool Points” On Facebook appeared first on Tuesday White.

This post first appeared on Writer. Author. Woman, please read the originial post: here

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Don’t Lose Your “Cool Points” On Facebook


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