I’ve been quiet again haven’t I? It’s because I’ve been on vacay with the family (which was much needed!) but also I feel this post is very much needed too…
So you may have noticed that my weight loss posts have pretty much been non-existent these days.
Firstly I’ll say – I have not given up my exercise routine, nor being aware of what I eat (I’m more relaxed I’ll admit) but if there’s one thing I want to be, it’s healthy.
But I’m more relaxed in myself. I guess what I mean is, I have embarked on a self journey of no longer damaging myself with negative words. When look back at myself on losing weight, I would stand looking at myself in the mirror and literally abuse myself from the mind…
“you look ugly” “you’re so fat” “how could your husband want to be with you” “you’re vile” “If only your stomach was smaller/legs were slimmer/arms were not as flabby”
Now wasn’t reading that horrible? – Imagine saying this to yourself daily, how the mind would think…begin to believe? Indeed I began to believe I wasn’t worth love, my Husband noticed and I needed to stop this road of self destruction.
It actually began, oddly enough with a tag via Instagram from one of my friends to a post made by The_Lady_Sybil about a project pitch. The idea that I could possibly do what was involved kinda sparked my mind and I began some ‘Self love’ talking with myself for the next few days…
“Ok so I’m plus sized…” “I’m a bigger woman, always have been, so what?” “I think…I am… I’m happy with myself. Ok so there are things I could change. But I’m happy being me”
And then the penny dropped. Yes I was happy, and I stood in that mirror that night, my husband watching behind halfheartedly wondering what I was up to…and I simply came out with it,
“I’m happy. I’m me”
The smile and hug I got from my husband was wonderful. He had been with me 13 years. 13 years of pretty much being the same size – sure it had fluctuated at times – but mostly hovering between a UK 14-18 and replied,
“You know I’ve always found you beautiful…always.”
sexy slippers in shot woo!
So, no. I’m not the Media standard size – But I’m me, I will always do what suits me because I’m looking after number 1 and since beginning my journey, my mental health has been amazingly good. I’ve slept better, I’ve enjoyed many things and appreciated things much more. My mood swings have lessened (come on now!) and I’ve become my usual bubbly self I once was in my younger days. Not to mention the knock on effect it’s had on my children & husband too.
So what is ‘Body Positive’?
I think it’s actually many things for different people… But one rule remains highly significant.
A shared respect for all bodies to exist with their differences in tact, and not to damage them. What may be one persons ‘perfect’ is another persons ‘yuck’ – and that’s fine! But lets not beat down that person just because of a handful of views. Bodies are amazing in various ways…growing another human from withinand bringing them into the world, to self healing – even just growing! Things happen, food happens, life happens – and that is that persons right to execute it in whichever way it is that they desire, It’s OK to not agree with their methods, freedom of opinion is allowed!
But bullying a person because you don’t agree with them however isn’t the way to deal with it.
‘Skinny’ and ‘fat’ shaming need to stop. It’s sad to see conflicting material in our media today of how – mostly – Women and Men in the public eye subjected to contradiction after contradiction
“xyz THIS WEEK covered in cellulite!” – Sometimes media, its genetic. SOMETIMES it can’t be helped…
“xyz GAINS WEIGHT! LOSES CONTROL” – Did they really lose control? or have a holiday where they were allowed to be themselves? Enjoying time away from your bullying headlines before having to punish themselves because YOU shed them under that negative light of yours.
“xyz with EATING DISORDER, RIBS SHOWING!” – you ever thought they could naturally be slim? Or maybe, purely through this shaming method of media have pushed them into an actual disorder?..well, well done. I guess your work is done here for more headlines in the near future…
Sorry little ranty there wasn’t I?
I digress –
Attitudes need to change. And if people want or need help? that’s fine for them to seek it, praise them and encourage them on their way – DON’T beat on them. We all deserve to exist in a shell we feel happy in regardless. Let the journey happen, wings spread and find your perch to land on.
I can’t say I’ve stuck to one singular agenda on here, and I honestly apologize for it. But from now on, I promise myself I’m going to be happy. Yes I am plus sized, but I’m also healthy (and it’s possible, and I’ll keep working on myself too) and I feel great. I hope you can too no matter your size and shape.
The main thing is Be you, be yourself – happiness is a gift that should be grasped with both hands. Also? You deserve it.
For now I’m done teehee! I’ve been posting daily BoPo musings over on my social media pages, feel free to follow along! it’s fun to share the journey
And last of all some thank you’s. Firstly to my family and my handsomely amazing Husband for standing by my side throughout. Secondly to the Wonderfully, Amazing community over at Instagram.. Your love and support has meant the world to me – and I hope to give each ounce of it back.
THANK YOU x
See you soon Beauts
Main image credit: proud2bme.org