I have had flings, interests and even crushes but Love has always eluded me. It made sense to keep my options open…once, but now that I’m a little older and a little wiser I see more sense in finding “the one”. I’ve fallen once and hard but it never panned out the way I wanted it to. She never saw me the way I needed her to. If she had I’d probably have been happy but she didn’t. And so we went our separate ways.
I saw it in a lot of different people but nothing concrete. Just flimsy attractions that never amounted to much. It was was all I wanted at the time but that soon changed. I was at the Hospital for observation cause of my condition. I’m schizophrenic by the way if you didn’t know already. So anyway, I’m at the hospital and I meet a girl there. I got to know her soon. There was nothing there at first but then I had to go for one of the activities and she was my escort. During this all I’m going to say is we had a moment. I didn’t think too much of it at first.
I Guess she just got me. She was as corny as I was. Let’s not put a label on it just yet. So our second outing is kind of where it happened for me.It was just a 30 minute walk around the hospital grounds and with all the stuff I was going through it was kind of the highlight of my day. It was cold and windy and serene. So I guess it was kind of poetic in some ways. Then I’m walking with her and I look over at her and notice her for the first time. She was as beautiful a person on the outside as she was on the inside. She had this ethereal quality and the mood of that day was befitting. It seemed to accentuate those qualities. I finally knew what I wanted from life. It just happened that way. I left everything that made life complicated and just wanted less. But less is more when you have some clarity. All I wanted was her, nothing physical, not sex, just her. I am the man I am because of that encounter. That is what love is I guess. Those moments.
I left the hospital but that was something that will stay with me. It was quick and it was sudden. Who knows I might see her again but that’s a story that hasn’t been written yet for another day.