Child Grooming affects thousands of children each year. The sexual grooming of a child is a calculated process by which a predator seeks to gain a victim’s trust deceitfully, and sometimes even their family or community’s trust, in order to overcome boundaries and gain future alone time with the victim. Grooming occurs in many different ways, but in all cases, it is a deliberate process a predator engages in to reduce the likelihood of being detected, of the child being believed, and to pave the way for future child sexual abuse.

What is Grooming?

According to the CDC, roughly every 1 in 4 girls and every 1 in 13 boys in the U.S. have experienced some form of child sexual abuse. More often than not, these cases of abuse involve grooming. Grooming can be defined as a method a predator uses to build trust with a child victim and his or her caregivers in order to gain access to and time alone with the victim. A predator grooms a child in person or online in order to make it easier for them to have sexual relations in the future and reduce the chances of being caught.

What Are the Stages of Grooming?

The grooming process is understood to occur in stages or in a similar pattern. The six stages of the grooming cycle can be described as:

• Selecting a victim and targeting specific vulnerabilities: Predators often will exploit a victim’s vulnerabilities including neglect, a not ideal home life, lack of parental oversight, and isolation. Predators often seek out professions where they are in contact with children, including in schools, youth sports leagues, or other places where many children are present.
• Gaining the child’s trust and their family or caretaker’s trust: Sex abusers may work to gather more information about the victim and gain their trust by offering support or attention. Predators may also seek to gain the trust of the victim’s family or caretakers to lower suspicion and gain further access to the child.
• Fulfilling a need: After gaining the victim’s trust, the predator may employ tactics like flattery and gift-giving as well as meeting the child’s basic needs to reinforce the relationship further and make the victim emotionally dependent on them.
• Isolating the child: The predator may seek out situations where they can be one-on-one with the victim, such as offering rides home, private tutoring, or babysitting.
• Sexualizing the relationship: Once the abuser gains the victim’s trust and emotional dependence, they will gradually sexualize the relationship through tactics like hugging, massaging, and other touching to desensitize the victim. The predator will continue to push boundaries by sharing sexually explicit content, asking sexually explicit questions, or similar methods.
• Maintaining control: Once sexual abuse occurs, the predator may use intimidation, fear, and threats in order to keep the victim quiet and enable continued abuse.

What Are Signs of Grooming?

It is not always obvious when a child is being groomed, but there are warning signs that parents, caretakers, and other adult figures should look out for. Signs of grooming that adults may notice in the child include:

• Secrecy regarding what they are doing, who they are talking to, or who they are with, whether online or in-person
• Having a friendship or relationship with an adult or older person
• Having new items, gifts, or money that they will not or cannot explain
• Emotional changes, including withdrawal from loved ones, depression, anxiety, or fear
• Changes in behavior, appetite, or sleep
• Drug use or underage drinking

Sexual Predators May Exhibit the Following Behaviors:

• Refusing to give the child privacy
• Abnormal interest in the child’s personal life
• Physical affection, including hugging, kissing, or massaging
• Insisting on alone time with the child
• Buying a child unexplained gifts or showing them special attention

How to Prevent Grooming

According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), 93% of victims of child abuse were abused by a family member or someone else that they know. There are steps that adults can take to prevent a child from becoming the victim of grooming or child sexual abuse:

• Early education on consent and staying safe: An important part of preventing child sex abuse is educating children from a young age on the differences between appropriate and inappropriate touching, off-limit areas, and what the child should do if someone crosses the line.
• Supervise and monitor: Parents should monitor a child’s online presence and communications and their time when not in school as much as possible. Try to ensure there is always more than one adult present for supervision at places like camps, birthday parties, and sleepovers. In organized groups like sports or teams, ask questions regarding how the adults working or volunteering are supervised and screened.
• Talk and listen: Parents should strive to take an active role in their child’s life by learning about their day-to-day activities and the people that are involved. Aim to create an environment where the child feels comfortable coming to you if something is bothering them.

How Can Survivors of Grooming and Child Sexual Abuse Pursue Justice?

Grooming and child sexual abuse can cause a lifetime of psychological trauma— including anxiety, PTSD, and depression—even decades after the abuse occurs. Financial compensation cannot change what took place or the effect it had on the victim, but it can help alleviate the financial burden and allow for closure.

Survivors of childhood sexual abuse may qualify to file a civil lawsuit against their abuser and any third party whose negligence may have played a role in the grooming or abuse. The survivor may sue for damages, including emotional distress and any other physical, mental, or emotional harm the victim incurred due to the predator’s actions.

The amount of time a child sexual abuse victim has to file a lawsuit against the predator changes from state to state, so contact a child sex abuse lawyer to learn more about your options and your state’s statute of limitations for child sex abuse lawsuits.

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