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Negotiating With our Children

Its nature to test the boundaries in any circumstance.  We lose our innocence when we learn the difference between right and wrong.
Remember these facts when adjusting your parenting techniques.  Your notonlynegotiating with your child's future at stake, the decisions you make will come back on you (the parent). This because when children are young we (the parent) pay for their mistakes and are responsible to teach them how to fix the mistake so it doesn't happen again. Start when your children are young.  Make learning fun and make sure they are aware of the repercussions of their decisions and actions whether they are good or bad.  If we do not fix it properly then the children will make these mistakes again and again.  This makes it hard for you (the parent).
Here is an example of my nephew's attitude,  he is eleven years old and still whining.  He came to spend two days with us.  We had lots of fun even though it was dark and raining most of the time.  Now, he normally doesn't like to come to our house because we have "rules". Basics: shower, brush your teeth, clear the table, load the dishwasher, take the dog out, pick up your toys when your done, limits on video games etc.  We also have a schedule, bed times and such. As usual he doesn't want to go home after he spends time here and his mom or other aunt (whoever is picking up) has to negotiate with him.  I am not a negotiator and tend to step in to end it.  But it's simple.  I said " We had fun but we want to make going and coming back easy on everyone.  I tell you all the time you are welcome here any time.  We will do more fun things next time you come.  So, go get ready and don't give her a hard time."  And all of this at his level with full attention, soft tone and a smile.  Negotiation over.  Guess what, he is back again today ready to have fun, rules and all.  No negotiation necessary.
There is an article packed full of helpful information, written by The Kid Counselor,Stop Negotiating with Your Children.


This post first appeared on Parenting In Todays World, please read the originial post: here

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Negotiating With our Children

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