Hello there! I hope you had a brilliant Christmas and New Year’s celebration! I spent the last week in Narrabeen (basically Sydney), when I wrote my last post, 2017. I had a mini shopping spree, went to the beach quite a lot, spent an afternoon at the movies with my cousins watching Sing, ate lots of takeaway rubbish and even got lost in the bush while it was getting dark – but that’s a story for another day.
Needless to say that I’m very tired, but I’m slowly and reluctantly preparing for
hell school, which goes back pretty soon, at the end of the month actually. I’M SO NOT READY!!! I don’t wanna face my teachers again, see a pile of projects, assignments and homework pile up before my very eyes, be shoved into Fifty Shades Of Drama, and delve into the world of mental breakdowns and not – enough – sleep. Just… no.
Without further delay, let’s discuss what the title of this post indicates. Can you remember your first real boyfriend/girlfriend in high school? I’ll give you a few seconds.
Well, I can’t relate, unfortunately.
Yes, I know, I’m turning 15 in 3 months and I’ve never had a boyfriend. In fact, here’s a graph to expand on things.
I know, right? I’m a bit of a loser.
In a Disney-esque high school where everyone eventually dates everyone, it gets a bit frustrating when you walk the hallways and are constantly bombarded with couples making out. Ok, maybe that’s me overreacting – but hey, it is distracting. It’s a shame that can’t seem to attract any nice boys – except for the occasional player asking for nudes on Messenger… and those are not nice boys. It’s like I’m the basketcase from hell. I sweat, shake and just fully freak out when I even think about the opposite sex. Ok, that also may be an exaggeration… but the point is, I can’t picture myself dating anyone.
I just find it difficult to ‘squeeze my way’ into the dating scene, mostly because I can’t see myself being asked out on a date. It seems so far away from me that the odds of me becoming an athlete are higher (and that would be almost impossible). Ok, I’m not completely a Love virgin, like, I’ve had crushes (although crushes aren’t classified as ‘love’, are they?). A lot of them too, but mostly on unattainable guys like celebrities.
The thing is, I can create a dreamy, romantic love life, where every encounter leads to a kiss, and every scenario plays out beautifully, but this all only exists in my head. I think everyone does this when they like someone, but I LIVE for it.
But, when I realistically look at my (non – existent) love life, I can’t see one. I can’t picture the boys at my school liking me, I can’t picture myself in a relationship. I can’t picture anything… It’s like a blank canvas, I just can’t see it happening.
I guess I’ll have to see what the future holds.
THE IMPORTANT MESSAGE!!!
Don’t pity me. I know this post seems all ‘Boo-hoo-let’s-feel-sorry-for-Kylee’, but I’m telling you this.
I’ve come to realise that I don’t need anyone else, and neither do you. Yes, I’d love for a nice, cute boy to hold my hand and tell me I’m pretty and sing HSM duets with me, but I won’t die if I’m single. Do I need a relationship to get an A+ on an exam? Do I really need a relationship to get a good career? Look, unless I’m doing an assignment on personal romantic chemistry, or running a business called ‘Lovey-Dovey Couple And Co.’, I’ll be fine, and you will be too. J
What is/was love like for you in school? Would you change anything? Have you felt this way before?
Let me know in the comments!
Have a nice day, and all the love –
P.S – Do you like the thumbnail and graph I made for this post?
(I apologise for the late update, I’ll get everything into order tomorrow, when I’ll be releasing ‘Being Single In High School: Part #2.)