You might think this topic shouldn’t need explanation or elaboration, but you’d be surprised because some of these tips will DEFINITELY surprise you. Check them out below:
This is the one every woman should know by now not to use. Douches are unnecessary products invented by The Man to solve made-up problems and make a buck.
Vaginas, like ears, clean themselves. There’s good bacteria in your v**ina that fights off infection, and when you douche, the good stuff is cleaned out along with the bad stuff, leaving your acidic and alkaline balances all off kilter and your vadge prone to infection.
Douching can also cause allergic reactions or spread existing infections to the uterus and fallopian tubes, causing more serious problems like pelvic inflammatory disease. And then how “fresh” will you feel?
The same goes for feminine hygiene sprays and other deodorizers — fragrances are for potpourri. If you need more convincing, read Tom Robbins’ “Even Cowgirls Get the Blues.”
2. Herbal Sachets or “Detox Pearls”
Created for a germ-obsessed world (like the one depicted in “Safe” starring Julianne Moore), these are the 21st century version of douches. And they come with the same warnings and then some (Toxic Shock Syndrome, anyone?).
Don’t just take it from us, take it from a gynecologist who will show you some very unpleasant images of used sachets (don’t read this before lunch).
We can thank Gwenyth Paltrow for perpetuating the creation of imaginary first-world problems with her recommendation of, yes, vaginal cleanses. (So L.A.) Fortunately, the media loves dumping on the insufferable Goop creator, so there was widespread ridicule of this preposterous “service.”
This one may seem a bit counter-intuitive. You want to be clean and showered. But soap can be drying, especially inside. Remember, the v**ina is self-cleaning, so stick to washing just the vulva (i.e. the external private partia, as opposed to the v**ina which is the internal canal leading to the uterus) with a natural, mild, fragrance-free soap.
Avoid body washes, which often have even more fragrance and alcohol than bar soap. And we know the temptations that come along with back massagers, but don’t even think about using your back scrubber down there!
Resist the temptation to recreate the refrigerator scene from 9 1/2 Weeks, at least down there.
The v**ina is not a bowl; you can’t eat whipped cream or cereal out of it. Food can be irritating and cause infection. So keep the chocolate sauce and wasabi on tough external skin surfaces only and away from any sensitive mucus membranes.
6. DIY Toys
DIY contraptions may break (inside you), are often not aerodynamic, and are rarely as aesthetically pleasing as the real deal.
7. Anything That’s Been in a b*tt
Fecal matter entering the v**ina is a leading cause of vaginosis, a bacterial infection that can cause burning, itching, abnormal discharge and foul odor. So if something — a finger, a man-hood, a toy — has gone in a b*tt or on/around an anus, don’t then put it in a v**ina or on the vulva.
8. High-Absorbency Tampons
At least when you don’t need them. Research has linked high absorbency with increased risk for TSS. So use the lowest absorbency for your flow. Or better yet, intersperse with pads, or to eliminate the risk altogether, use pads exclusively.
Lie under the bathtub faucet, use your detachable shower head, straddle the jets in the Olympic-sized pool, invest in a waterproof vibrator. Just make sure the water’s not scalding hot, and do NOT aim a strong stream of water directly into your v**ina — it can cause a fatal air embolism. (That’s when an air bubble gets into your bloodstream — if the bubble reaches your heart or lungs, it can kill you.)
Similarly, don’t blow air directly into the v**ina like it’s some “cool, new” s*x trick. Just like a strong stream of water, it can cause a fatal air embolism.
This article was originally published at Em & Lo