Beautiful Black Women, Why Are Our Men Not Choosing Us For Marriage?
This post is a little difficult for a lot of us to discuss but I think that it is something that we must confront in order to learn the truth. After years of noticing the trend of our men dismissing us and making excuses not to marry us, I think it is time for us to be real and find out why. Some of us know what the problem is but we will not accept it.
What is behind this situation that we are the last on the totem pole to be married? I will share my thoughts and observations and you may or may not agree but I hope that this post will get us talking and thinking and finding way's to correct the obstacles that we may have in getting a spouse.
Here are some of the problems why we are not getting married:
- We are very loud, aggressive, and men are turned off by this behavior. I am not saying that we should be a doormat but sometimes we are angry for no reason at all and it is turning our men off. We have to understand that it is a time and place for everything.
- We are having too many children out of wedlock and when a man see this, it looks like you do not have any self control and this man do not want to raise all these children with you because he feels like it isn't financially feasible. The more children that you have out of wedlock diminishes your chances of being a wife. I know that things happen in life and we all have obstacles but ladies limit the amount of children that you have while you are unmarried. Use birth control and if you do not believe in birth control, maybe you need to stay single and concentrate on yourself and work on your life until you are married.
- Ladies, we are acting too masculine and taking over the relationship. I know that we are taught to be strong and we should but let your man do something in your relationship and stop trying to take over the man's role and not letting or expecting him to take his rightful place in your relationship. When you do this, you are letting this man know that you will do everything for him and he doesn't have to add any value to your relationship.
- Don't introduce him to your children right away and don't move him into your place. When you do this, he feels like he can get over on you and that you don't really care or value your children. Being a mom means that you are suppose to cherish and protect your children. He will feel like you are not the kind of woman that he wants to marry because you may do this to his children if the relationship don't work out. This will seriously diminish your chances ladies!
- Do not participate in threesomes with the man you are dating, because if you do, this will continue throughout your relationship and it will be a disaster. You are worthy of a monogamous relationship and if your man will not be faithful, let him go and allow the right man to come into your life.
- Keep check of your hygiene ladies and look nice and neat because no man wants his future wife to look a mess and smell a mess. It doesn't take a lot of money to look good and smell good. Take care of yourself and your children because no man wants a wife who do not keep herself or her children looking good.
- Do not flash large sums of money around because this will make the man feel like he doesn't have to contribute to your relationship and this will also make him want to use you for your money. If you have it, keep it to yourself. It is not any of his business anyway.
- This is a biggie ladies! Don't flaunt all your expensive clothes and don't act too high maintenance because this will make a man feel that he will not be able to afford all the designer clothes, handbags and shoes and he will assume that you are in credit card debt. It is nothing wrong with buying nice things but if he sees all this, he will run for the hills because he may want to get a home when he marries you, and he does not want all the added expense of your high maintenance way's.
- Never, never, give a man your money and pay his bills because he will see this as a sign of weakness and once you start this, he will expect you to take care of him. Don't be a fool, let him pay his way through life. Let him be a man!
- Don't wear revealing clothing when you are out with your man because no man wants his woman looking like she is easy or like a woman selling her body. If you look cheap, he will treat you like trash. He will not see you as a woman that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. If you do no know how to dress nicely, then ask a friend who you admire and let her show you what kind of clothes look good on you. You can look beautiful without showing everything.