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Suicide Squad

Yeah! another superhe...I mean super criminal film!
Yeehaw! another superhero movie! Oh my God! so excited! very thrilled! much power! Mmm...No, nope, not like that. Before I get my hands into reviewing today's entry I can't help but post about my sorry emo feelings about a Movie genre that despite bringing the Comic Book world to front center, it also has grown tired of itself and dangerously become a derivative cliched parody, the kind you shut down your brain and can still understand the whole story, even with detail. I've been a comic book reader since I was very little (not that anyone cares) and I'm not planning to stop being so. The world of superheroes is fascinating beyond words, yet when greedy Film producers turn them into blockbuster films, there is something they're not doing right: They are not bringing the "fascinating" in comic books into their million dollar cinematic universe. 

Suicide Squad is, the latest addition to the now ongoing & growing DC Cinematic Universe that started in 2013 with Man of Steel, continued this year with Batman V Superman and clashed into today's film in review. Now, you already know our motto here is "watch the movie by yourselves, and build your own opinion based on your unique personal experience"  So, you're totally encouraged to disagree with what we think. Still, the world is built upon experience, facts & science. Film is an art form, and like any other art form it depends strictly on the eye of the beholder. Critics and real people, bashed Batman V Superman, (we liked it) when it came out. Then, when the Ultimate Extended Edition was released, voila! most of the haters became instant supporters of the film. Yes, we're a very weird species walking on Earth. In a nutshell, We're OK if you think our following review is full of crap.

Yeah! we're super bad!
I'm bad too!
Suicide Squad was, and I say "was" and not "is", a mildly popular comic book during the late 80's (make sure you read at least my personal favorite Apokolips Now), the time in which there was a second incarnation of the super criminal team. The original Task Force X (sounds a lot like X-Men, doesn't it?) dates back to 1959 and The Brave & the Bold comic book mag. The film incarnation is somewhat based upon 2011's New 52 Suicide Squad story line. Such arc includes Amanda Waller, Black Spider, Captain Boomerang, Deadshot, El Diablo, James Gordon Jr., Harley Quinn, Deathstroke & Yoyo. The ones marked in bold made it to the live action film. Rick Flag Jr. & Enchantress were added from the 1987-1992 Suicide Squad continuity. 

Anyways, there's been two earlier live action incarnations of the team before. One being in the fucking lame and god awful Smallville TV series from 2001 and the other being part of the fourth season of Arrow last year. Therefore, this film is the third live action incarnation of this very unusual team of super baddies.
 
Looks that kill.
Oh yeah! 90's fluorescent colors!

Suicide Squad happens right after Batman V Superman (there's even a quick scene of Superman's funeral)  Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) believes the world is in danger because there could come another Superman that is not so generous with mankind, so, instead of calling Batman & Wonder Woman, or The Flash, she thinks is wiser to leave world security in charge of a bunch of murderers that are beyond rehabilitation. The enemy, is actually, one of her own, June Moore (Cara Delevingne) a researcher, who happens to be possessed by the mystic being known as The Enchantress. This mystical entity hates humans and want to recover her place as ruler of the world. And oh, Yes, She's very powerful. Specially when next to her brother or once she recovers her heart, which happens to be the only weakness she has. Unfortunately for Amanda Waller, not even her military skills will protect it from reaching The Enchantress hands.

David Ayer, director of films that will never enter the annals of great movies, directs this flick with a super extra derivative eye. People expecting exciting moments or "oh my God I didn't think of that" plot twists will be straight forward disappointed by this "two hour Youtube gameplay video". Although you could watch this movie stoned as fuck, You'd still understand what the whole story is about. The sorry ass that wrote this mediocre plot is also Mr. David Ayer.

Bad to the bone!
"Psst, Enchantress..."
"Oh, but what about the "out of this world" Joker performance by Jared Leto?"  Well, if you've seen the trailers, that's all the Joker you'll get on this film. Recently, Leto sort of washed his hands off of the matter by declaring he filmed enough Joker scenes as to make a solo movie, but "some of the scenes were so shocking" producers cut them off from the final release. Yeah, right!

"Well, then, tell me about Will Smith! he's a great actor that's made great movies! he can't miss, can he?" Will Smith can't play any other character than himself. If you've suffered seeing one of his films, you've seen them all already. He makes Deadshot look like the Christian version of character, going to church on Sunday and praying every night.

"Oh, c'mon! I'm sure Margot Robbie steals the show as Harley Quinn!!" I find it hard to believe, until this very day, that thousands of young women love the Harley Quinn character, I mean what is wrong? can't you not understand her actual role in the comic books? She's not in love with the Joker and neither is him with her! She's a violently sexually abused woman! The Joker is a son of a bitch! a fucking murdering maniac! he can't feel love! he's fucking twisted! and yet, we get a lot of "I love you Harley Quinn, you're my favorite cosplay character from which I've never read anything before" To me (and to many) She's only an over rated exploited female character and that's exactly where this movie hits rock bottom. Her character is supposed to be the most important, the one that would fit the pieces together, the one that would lead others, and yet She is portrayed as being a dime a dozen teenage angst troubled kid.

Haters gonna hate!
And they thought the movie was about me! ha,ha,ha!
Alright, a few paragraphs above I said this film is a "Youtube gameplay video" meaning exactly that. Characters, are quickly introduced, They are briefed about the mission, They accept the mission, They start on stage 1 until They meet the final boss. End of game. Absolutely predictable! nothing new, nothing shocking and even worse, not a single scene to make you feel these people are actually the bad guys forced to do the right thing! I mean c'mon! They fucking save the day like superheroes do! they don't even kill random people while getting busy! And don't get me started on the emotive flashbacks about their good side. What a bunch of crap! Want more bashing? Well, how on Earth Deadshot, Captain Boomerang, Killer Croc & Harley Quinn add enough power to defeat a supernatural super powered being? Out of the bunch, Killer Croc has animal like force and no more; Deadshot is a mere mortal with bullseye aim; Captain Boomerang? don't make me laugh! and Harley Quinn??!! what the fuck can she do to stop an immortal entity? toss bad jokes stolen from The Joker? shoot a gun? use a knife? hit hard with her baseball bat? That's where this film fucking failed massively to me. The team is evidently over powered by the enemy and yet They manage to save the day with some team work with standard human abilities. I don't mention El Diablo (Jay Hernandez), because he is the only actual character capable of giving a hard time to The Enchantress (which He does by the way)

Alright, let's move on to the long awaited cameos! Yeah! Batman is there, and not only in once, but three complete scenes. First, He's seen capturing Deadshot. Second, he rescues Harley Quinn from drowning while the Joker runs away like a pussy, leaving her "love" to die under water (wow! what a display of caring for each other this turd has!) and last but not least, he's in the after credit scenes requesting some very predictable info from Amanda Waller as Bruce Wayne. The Flash cameo, is quicker, no pun intended, he stops Captain Boomerang and it's gone.
I'm Batman!
The Flash was here!
People that never watched a superhero film before, may find Suicide Squad very refreshing and entertaining. The problem is, who hasn't, even by chance, watched a superhero movie in 2016? Younger audiences, the ones not meant to watch it, will have a thrilling experience, specially if They've never read a comic book before. Comic Book fans, well, We're used to disappointment, most of the superhero films from both DC & Marvel suck some major ass.  The newly established DC Comics cinematic universe, may suck but it's selling merchandise like mad! Film producers couldn't care less about what Their viewers think, They just want Your money and They're getting it regardless concepts like quality, homage & respect for the viewers. Compared to Batman V Superman, Suicide Squad is way worse. At least, the former had interesting characters and a less derivative film maker POV. Still, the industry doesn't give a fuck about what We think. My recommendation is to buy comic books instead of movie tickets. Every comic book artist is not being paid shit for their creative efforts. There are no royalties in superhero movies. Do You like comic books? buy them, read them, buy some more, go to Cons, buy art prints. Forget about the movies, forget about that signed picture with the actor that plays Your favorite villain. Comic books are awesome in their own original format and need no updates and/or famous actors to attract new readers.


Overall, another action film supercharged with CGI and fight sequences all over. If that is what you're looking for, then Suicide Squad will deliver massive entertainment. On the other hand, if you're looking for a good movie, well, keep looking! And remember, DC Comics films will keep on coming regardless of what audiences think or experience. The truth is, these are very expensive two hour toy commercials, just like most of the 80's Cartoons.

Here's the movie trailer, and thank God, there's only Doctor Strange left this year! and like 2015, Star Wars will once again save the year for film lovers like You and Me.



This post first appeared on Stuff, Pubes & Movies Alternative, please read the originial post: here

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